Nobody Knows Consciousness!: Demystifying Life's Greatest Mystery
By Nobody
()
About this ebook
“Nobody! is the Rube Goldberg of popular science!” Nobody at The New Yorker
“A pie in the face of consciousness!” Nobody at Soupy Sales
“Soupy Sales meets Mr. Wizard!” Nobody at Harry Potter’s Pea Soup (“Make sure you eat it before it eats you!”)
“Funny serious, not seriously funny!” Nobody at Serious Fun Anonymous
“Nobody! is completely organic. He makes lemons out of lemonade!” Nobody at the Organic Citrus Growers of America
“Twinkies for madeleines! Nobody! is the Proust of popular science!” Nobody at 21st Century Twinkies
“Pasties for peasants! Nobody! is the Shakespeare of popular science!” Nobody at Pasty Central
“We’re absolutely certain that popular science doesn’t need a Salvador Dali!” Nobody at the Broadway opening of Hello, Dali!
“Popular science as literature? We think Nobody! is a quack! Let’s send him a Duck Commander.” Nobody at Duck Commander
“A hybrid mix of Jonathan Swift and evolutionary science? We always suspected that Nobody! was a science Yahoo!” Nobody at Yahoo! Science
“We thought that Nobody! was going to explain consciousness--not whack it!” Nobody at Folsom Prison
“Makes you embarrassed to even have a consciousness!” Nobody at Consciousness Anonymous
“Perhaps, we should make consciousness illegal.” Nobody in Washington D.C.
Nobody
Nobody! is the pen name of the author and central character of the books: Nobody Knows (The Thing That Really Matters About) Anything!: A Users' Guide for the 21st Century Written by: Nobody! Nobody Knows Evolution!: Bulldogs, Rottweilers and the Intelligent Designers Written by: Nobody! Nobody Knows Consciousness!: Demystifying Life's Greatest Mystery Written by: Nobody! "Who would've thought to reinvent non-fiction and make it funny in the process?" Nobody! "'Back to the Future' of Literary Non-Fiction." Nobody at DeLorean Motor Cars "It's as if the 'Extracts' ate 'Moby Dick!'" Nobody at Real Vanilla Extracts "Out Nabakovs Nabakov. 'Pale Fire' for 'Idiots!'" Nobody at the Red Onion State Prison "Super-Prison Literary Society" "'In Cold Blood'--without all the blood!" Nobody eating "Breakfast at Tiffany's" "Nobody! has arrived just in time to save the publishing industry singlehandedly!" Nobody at "Publisher's Weakly" Magazine "Nobody! writes for the cheap seats!" Nobody at Cheapseats.com "Nobody! takes 'abstract' writing to a whole new level. Plus, he had the good sense to number things!" Nobody selling Jackson Pollock's Numbered Paintings ("They make people look at a picture for what it is--pure painting!") "Nobody!'s genius was to realize that science was comedy!" Nobody at the University of Clown Science ("The Science of Clowns! The Clowns of Science!") "Nobody! makes Anonymous irrelevant!" Nobody at Warner Books "Irreverent--NO!--Irrelevant common sense. Nobody! Knows!" Nobody at "Rolling Stones" Magazine "We think Nobody! should make a movie!" Nobody at the American Institute of Corn Porn ("Pornography made entirely from corn--for when the ethanol subsidies end! Think creamed corn--and COBS!") To maintain his anonymity, Nobody! likes to pretend that he's Steve Martin ("to throw the paparazzi off the scent"). To be clear, Nobody! is NOT Steve Martin.
Related to Nobody Knows Consciousness!
Titles in the series (4)
Nobody Knows Evolution!: Bulldogs, Rottweilers and the Intelligent Designers: Goldman's Bulldog Presents, #2 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsNobody Knows (The Thing That Really Matters About) Anything! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Nobody Knows Consciousness!: Demystifying Life's Greatest Mystery Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsNobody Knows the Big Bang!: How Many Universes Can Dance on the Head of a Pin? Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related ebooks
Summary of Anil Seth's Being You Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhat Is Life Anyway? Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Butterflies Are Free To Fly: A New and Radical Approach to Spiritual Evolution Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Knowing, Doing, and Being: New Foundations for Consciousness Studies Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGrow More Loving Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsIt's All Rough Draft until you die Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSummary of Annaka Harris's Conscious Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWe are Made by Choice not by Chance Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Unmasking Event: To Be Authentically Known Is To Be Authentically Loved Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Boy from a Parallel Universe Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Summary of Matthew Walker's Why We Sleep Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings25 Stories to Feed Your Mind Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCompassion: In My Own Words Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEvolution of a Conscious Mind Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Mental Models and Successful Ideas: Human, #15 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSelf: A Delusion? Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSiddhartha Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSeeing Reality As It Is Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTen Things You Didn't Know About Ghosts Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSummary of The Last Mile Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAutobiography of a Yogi Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhere Do We Come From? Where Do We Go? Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Factors of Organic Evolution Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsIndia Calling, A Decade of Perceptions Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMind Power – The Secret of Mental Magic Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5What Are You Thinking?: Why We Feel and Act the Way We Do Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBehind Civilisation Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDream Psychology Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMeaningful Coincidences: How and Why Synchronicity and Serendipity Happen Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHeart Beats: HeartSpeaks Series - 4 (101 Topics Illustrated with Stories, Anecdotes, and Incidents) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Science & Mathematics For You
The Joy of Gay Sex: Fully revised and expanded third edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Activate Your Brain: How Understanding Your Brain Can Improve Your Work - and Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Outsmart Your Brain: Why Learning is Hard and How You Can Make It Easy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Memory Craft: Improve Your Memory with the Most Powerful Methods in History Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters--And How to Get It Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Big Book of Hacks: 264 Amazing DIY Tech Projects Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Ultralearning: Master Hard Skills, Outsmart the Competition, and Accelerate Your Career Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Homo Deus: A Brief History of Tomorrow Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Psychology of Totalitarianism Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5On Food and Cooking: The Science and Lore of the Kitchen Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Systems Thinker: Essential Thinking Skills For Solving Problems, Managing Chaos, Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5No-Drama Discipline: the bestselling parenting guide to nurturing your child's developing mind Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Way of the Shaman Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Gulag Archipelago: The Authorized Abridgement Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Lies My Gov't Told Me: And the Better Future Coming Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Why People Believe Weird Things: Pseudoscience, Superstition, and Other Confusions of Our Time Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Free Will Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Wisdom of Psychopaths: What Saints, Spies, and Serial Killers Can Teach Us About Success Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Gulag Archipelago [Volume 1]: An Experiment in Literary Investigation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/52084: Artificial Intelligence and the Future of Humanity Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Crack In Creation: Gene Editing and the Unthinkable Power to Control Evolution Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Complete Guide to Memory: The Science of Strengthening Your Mind Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A Letter to Liberals: Censorship and COVID: An Attack on Science and American Ideals Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Suicidal: Why We Kill Ourselves Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Trouble With Testosterone: And Other Essays On The Biology Of The Human Predi Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Invisible Rainbow: A History of Electricity and Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5On Trails: An Exploration Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Big Fat Surprise: Why Butter, Meat and Cheese Belong in a Healthy Diet Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related categories
Reviews for Nobody Knows Consciousness!
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Nobody Knows Consciousness! - Nobody
GOLDMAN’S BULLDOG PRESENTS
NOBODY KNOWS
CONSCIOUSNESS!
DEMYSTIFYING
LIFE’S GREATEST MYSTERY
Written by:
NOBODY!
____________________
ADVANCE PRAISE FOR NOBODY KNOWS CONSCIOUSNESS!
"Let’s have Nobodies review the book before we publish it. That’ll give us a jump on the critics!" Nobody!
Nobody! is the Rube Goldberg of popular science!
Nobody at The New Yorker
"You mean Nobody! is a rube!" Nobody at Rube Goldberg Productions
‘Give ‘em the old hocus pocus; bead and feather ‘em. How can they see with sequins in their eyes?’
Nobody in Chicago, the Musical
Sequins in the eye of consciousness!
Nobody at Beads, Feathers and Boas
A pie in the face of consciousness!
Nobody at Soupy Sales
Soupy Sales meets Mr. Wizard!
Nobody at Harry Potter’s Pea Soup (Make sure you eat it before it eats you!
)
Funny serious, not seriously funny!
Nobody at Serious Fun Anonymous
Nobody! is completely organic. He makes lemons out of lemonade!
Nobody at the Organic Citrus Growers of America
Twinkies for madeleines! Nobody! is the Proust of popular science!
Nobody at 21st Century Twinkies
Pasties for peasants! Nobody! is the Shakespeare of popular science!
Nobody at Pasty Central
We’re absolutely certain that popular science doesn’t need a Salvador Dali!
Nobody at the Broadway opening of Hello, Dali!
Popular science as literature? We think Nobody! is a quack! Let’s send him a Duck Commander.
Nobody at Duck Commander
A hybrid mix of Jonathan Swift and evolutionary science? We always suspected that Nobody! was a science Yahoo!
Nobody at Yahoo! Science
"There’s ‘Trouble in River City!’ A Nobody! book is the Cliffs Notes’ version." Nobody at Cliffs Notes
Reads too much, thinks too much, drinks too much, writes too much--Nobody! doesn’t know how to stop!
Nobody at the National Motorists Association
‘Dust never sleeps!’ ‘Rust Never Sleeps!’ What’d we pay this guy?
Nobody at Rust-Oleum Paint and Dusting Cloths
"‘The scientist as psychopath?’ ‘Science is Macbeth?’ ‘Vlad the Executioner!’ We hear that the scientists have put a contract out on Nobody! Nobody at the Red Onion State Prison
Super-Prison Literary Society"
Loneliness is all there is. Loneliness before me. Loneliness is consciousness. Loneliness is boring.
Nobody listening to Janis Joplin singing All is Loneliness
"Nobody! doesn’t need a consciousness! Nobody! is ‘A Legend in his Own Mind.’" Nobody listening to Gil Scott-Heron
We thought that Nobody! was going to explain consciousness--not whack it!
Nobody at Folsom Prison
Makes you embarrassed to even have a consciousness!
Nobody at Consciousness Anonymous
Perhaps, we should make consciousness illegal.
Nobody in Washington D.C.
____________________
GOLDMAN’S BULLDOG PRESENTS
NOBODY KNOWS
CONSCIOUSNESS!
DEMYSTIFYING
LIFE’S GREATEST MYSTERY
Written by:
NOBODY!
www.goldmansbulldog.com
Published by Smashwords, Inc.
Copyright 2014 by Author
____________________
SMASHWORDS EDITION, LICENSE NOTES
Thank you for downloading this ebook. You are welcome to share it with friends. This book may be reproduced, copied and distributed for non-commercial purposes, provided the book remains in its complete original form.
____________________
For Me, Myself and I
For You Too
____________________
TABLE OF CONTENTS
PART ONE
THE CONSCIOUSNESS STORY
Chapter 1: Big Mind and Little Mind
Chapter 2: Butch and Sundance
Chapter 3: The Super Posse
Chapter 4: Desperate Times Require Desperate Measures
Chapter 5: The Slime-Mold Draft
Chapter 6: The Three Faces of Eve
Chapter 7: Storage Wars
Chapter 8: The Sick Parrot
PART TWO
THE LANGUAGE STORY
Chapter 9: I Serve Two Masters
Chapter 10: How Laziness Got Legs
Chapter 11: An Excuse is Born
Chapter 12: The Halle Berry Neuron
Chapter 13: Why We Tell Stories
PART THREE
ANIMAL STORIES
Chapter 14: Mother Abraham, Mouse Isaac and Lady MacBeth
Chapter 15: When Wolves Fight
Chapter 16: The Robber Bear
Chapter 17: The Lion King
Chapter 18: Madagascar
Chapter 19: The Legal Ape
PART FOUR
JUST SAY NO!
Chapter 20: Trouble in River City
Chapter 21: The Extraordinary Intelligence of the Madness of Crowds
Chapter 22: The Thing That Changes into What You Think It Is
Chapter 23: The Trainer that Thinks It’s the Fighter
Chapter 24: Blink-of-an-Eye Free Will
Chapter 25: Three Lights and You’re Out
PART FIVE
THE I-STORY
Chapter 26: A One-Third Whole-Brain Phenomenon
Chapter 27: The Scientist as Psychopath
Chapter 28: Bring in the Clones
Chapter 29: The Act of Creation
Chapter 30: The Fear Factor
Chapter 31: Smoking Hot
Chapter 32: The Sexiest Woman in the World
Chapter 33: The Eternal Youth of Consciousness
Chapter 34: The Brotherhood of All Life
APPENDIX
Chapter 35: The Cambridge Declaration on Consciousness
____________________
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Will I survive death? I think I must.
I know that I shall have, at least,
The consciousness of dust,
And dust, like rust, never sleeps.
____________________
We never find ourselves
because we can’t stop looking.
____________________
PART ONE
THE CONSCIOUSNESS STORY
____________________
CHAPTER 1: BIG MIND AND LITTLE MIND
You can’t get there from here; you have to go someplace else first.
Dennis Charles Sherck
Scientists want to find consciousness inside the human brain. While there’s little doubt that it’s in there,
finding it in there is a bit like finding quarks inside of atoms. The fact that an atom is made up of quarks is interesting information,
but this information tells us absolutely nothing about the physical properties of atoms. If you want to know about the properties of atoms, you have to study them; you need the Periodic Table of Elements not the Standard Model. In much the same way, it would seem that if you want to understand human consciousness that you ought to study it instead of trying to find it in the neurons in the human brain. In trying to find the quarks of consciousness,
scientists have have been conspicuous in their failure.
Actually, this is something of a surprise to everyone involved. The reason for this is simple; scientists have been able to find just about everything imaginable inside the human brain. Using various forms of stimulation to map the brain, they have found the centers of vision, language, math, long and short-term memory, intuition, sexuality, decision-making and aggression. They have even discovered the location of out-of-body experiences, a sense of the unity of all things, God, enlightenment and inner peace. There’s only one thing that scientists haven’t been able to find inside the human brain. No matter where they probe or prod, they have never discovered I.
They have not stimulated a reaction along the lines of Oh, yes, that’s me; that’s where ‘I’ am. I knew I was in there somewhere.
Because neuroscientists cannot find I
inside the brain like everything else, they have decided that consciousness must be an emergent whole-brain phenomenon.
Unfortunately, that does not mean that when you stimulate the whole brain that I
emerges. What it means is that I
never emerges, but that scientists are still certain that it’s in there.
If consciousness is not somewhere, then it must be everywhere. This is a logical assumption for which no evidence is presented. In that sense, it’s not even a scientific hypothesis as there seems to be no way to test it or falsify it. In a sense, it’s a way for scientists to stop thinking about their failure to find consciousness by rotely intoning it’s an emergent whole-brain phenomenon
as if they were saying something scientific that is supported by evidence.
Some scientists consider consciousness and mind to be to be the same thing. The reason for this is quite simple; consciousness thinks that it’s mind even though it isn’t. Since consciousness is a part of mind, this description has an element of truth
to it so we are inclined to believe it. We will soon learn that believing in things that contain an element of truth is a survival instinct. While many scientists believe that consciousness is the mysterious part of mind, in reality, mind is the mysterious part of consciousness.
Almost as if she set out to