Increase Your Emotional Intelligence

By Carolyn Franklin M.A.

We all grew up outside but not all of us grew up inside. We may have secondary characteristics that indicate physical maturity, but it’s difficult to measure any secondary characteristics of emotional maturity, Emotional Intelligence.

When you don’t get that critical promotion, do you think it’s because: you’re a woman, you’re Black, you’re Asian, you’re White, you’re gay - you speak with an accent? Maybe it’s because you’re not qualified - or, immature!

There are schools, tutors and programs to learn advanced calculus, but there’s no school to teach maturity. We’re left on our own to work that out but we’re not always successful. Emotional maturity - Emotional Intelligence - is “street smarts,” to immediately assess a situation, take control of it to our advantage and predict the end result.

Know when it’s smart to be smart and smart to play dumb. A high IQ is useless if you’re controlled by emotion. But if you’re controlled predominantly by intelligence you’re a zombie, dead to life. Find a balance - select the right action for the right time.

This book offers solutions, examples and guidance toward “street smarts” – Emotional Intelligence, to recognize problems and make successful life choices.

“Emotional Intelligence is a strategy to get your own way and still have people like you.” - Franklin

“The mark of an educated mind is one that can entertain a thought without accepting it.” - Aristotle

“Emotional Intelligence is a heightened awareness of one’s self in relationship to surrounding events.” - Anonymous

“Change of thought makes your behavior change. Change of behavior makes your habits change. Change of habits makes your personality change. Change of personality makes your destiny change” - Akio Tanii

CONTENTS
All categories provide ways to change and improve problems by
Emotional Intelligence
EI DEFINITION
RAISE YOUR EI LEVEL
CATEGORIES OF EMOTION: FEAR, HATE, JEALOUSY, ANGER
CONTROL YOUR ENVIRONMENT
NEEDS VS WANTS
CRITICISM
STRESS AND EI
IMPROVE SOCIAL SITUATIONS
FORGIVENESS – ANOTHER FORM OF GUILT
EI AT WORK
ADVICE
RESOLVE CONFLICT

• Language: English
• Publisher: Carolyn Franklin M.A.
• Release date: Jul 3, 2015
• ISBN: 9781310808944

Carolyn Franklin M.A.

M. A. Communication StudiesM. A. EducationB. A. Psychology30 years voice training (San Francisco Opera)Voice/Speech improvement CoachContact Carolyn - [e-mail]

Book preview

INCREASE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Carolyn Franklin, M.A.

[e-mail]

All Rights Reserved 2006

No Duplication Without Written Permission

Second Edition

Book Cover Designer: Barry J Baldi - [e-mail]

INTRODUCTION

We all grew up outside but not all of us grew up inside. We may have secondary characteristics that indicate physical maturity, but it’s difficult to measure any secondary characteristics of emotional maturity, Emotional Intelligence.

When you don’t get that critical promotion, do you think it’s because: you’re a woman, you’re Black, you’re Asian, you’re White, you’re gay - you speak with an accent? Maybe it’s because you’re not qualified - or, immature!

There are schools, tutors and programs to learn advanced calculus, but there’s no school to teach maturity. We’re left on our own to work that out but we’re not always successful. Emotional maturity - Emotional Intelligence - is street smarts, to immediately assess a situation, take control of it to our advantage and predict the end result.

Know when it’s smart to be smart and smart to play dumb. A high IQ is useless if you’re controlled by emotion. But if you’re controlled predominantly by intelligence you’re a zombie, dead to life. Find a balance - select the right action for the right time.

This book offers solutions, examples and guidance toward street smarts – Emotional Intelligence, to recognize problems and make successful life choices.

Emotional Intelligence is a strategy to get your own way and still have people like you.

Franklin

The mark of an educated mind is one that can entertain a thought without accepting it.

Aristotle

Emotional Intelligence is a heightened awareness of one’s self in relationship to surrounding events.

Anonymous

"Change of thought makes your behavior change

Change of behavior makes your habits change

Change of habits makes your personality change

Change of personality makes your destiny change"

Akio Tanii

CONTENTS

All categories provide ways to change and improve problems by Emotional Intelligence

INTRODUCTION

EI DEFINITION

RAISE YOUR EI LEVEL

CATEGORIES OF EMOTION: FEAR, HATE, JEALOUSY, ANGER

CONTROL YOUR ENVIRONMENT

NEEDS VS WANTS

CRITICISM

STRESS AND EI

IMPROVE SOCIAL SITUATIONS

FORGIVENESS – ANOTHER FORM OF GUILT

EI AT WORK

ADVICE

RESOLVE CONFLICT

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Other books by Carolyn Franklin

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

For many of us, the Past controls our Present and our Future – we are emotionally underdeveloped. You can’t change the Past, but you can attempt to control the future. Motivation and a strong willingness to change, must be your ultimate goal, your constant focus. Emotional Intelligence (EI) can be learned or modified if you choose. You may not achieve Nirvana, but by understanding and controlling your behavior you can get through the day without a nervous breakdown and keep your friends.

CONTROL YOUR PAST EI.

How do you control something over, dead and gone? Well, the problem is, it’s not dead, over and gone; the Past is very much alive today, now, struggling to get out, be heard, resolved. Childhood events affect your daily choices, emotions and behavior.

When Doris was 11 years old her mother died. Her father married a wicked stepmother and had four more girls. Doris said she never had new clothes but the other girls did. She had to wear hand-me-downs; instead of going to school she had to work in the cotton fields. Her stepmother refused to buy her much needed eye glasses. Doris recited a litany of abuses, relished the misery, basked in attention. She was a hero who ended her recital with a smile, But, I have forgiven her. I have forgotten all about it. Forgiven? Forgotten? No, her Past is alive in an empty Present.

How do you face a bitter Past with Emotional Intelligence? Start with the truth as you know it; say, My childhood was miserable; I was: abused, neglected, starved, poor, underprivileged, hated, spoiled, my sister/brother was the favorite; I was a nerd, dyslexic, ugly, fat, skinny... My parents were wrong about everything…

And, according to your perspective, you’re right. Your parents were the worst possible examples of humanity. Now this is your chance to say, Yup; it was a rotten childhood. It’s over; that was then this is now. Where do I go from here?

Acknowledge the Past - don’t deny it; don’t cherish the pain. Be glad it’s over - look for the good that you learned. Set the past aside, release the specters of time gone by.

Resolve never to treat anyone the way you were treated. As Paul says