Summary of On Thriving by Brandi Sellerz-Jackson: Harnessing Joy Through Life's Great Labors

By Justin Reese

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This book does not in any capacity mean to replace the original book but to serve as a vast summary of the original book.

Summary of On Thriving by Brandi Sellerz-Jackson: Harnessing Joy Through Life's Great Labors

IN THIS SUMMARIZED BOOK, YOU WILL GET:

• Chapter astute outline of the main contents.
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Brandi Sellerz-Jackson's book, On Thriving, offers a guide to healing and thriving through life's challenges. Drawing from her experiences as a doula and personal narratives, Sellerz-Jackson explains the four great labors of our lives: relationships, mental health, grief, loss, and feeling othered. She encourages readers to actively remain present within these labors and identify the tools needed to thrive. By comparing our thriving to that of plant life, Sellerz-Jackson simplifies the complex journey of growing in an inhospitable environment. Through insightful storytelling, she encourages a deep investigation of our past and present to gather the necessary resources for thriving.

• Language: English
• Publisher: jUSTIN REESE
• Release date: Jan 10, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224320097

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

As a child, the author recalls her mother's song about rain, which she believed welcomed the clouds' sweet salve. She imagined the rain kissing the grass and watering the roots, symbolizing the stories of those who had come before them. The sound of the rain mixed with her mother's voice brought a sense of calm and renewal to her.

Decades later, she experienced miscarrying for the second time in 2018, and as the spring rain poured outside her home, she prayed for the rain to heal her broken heart and cleanse her grief. She knew what the rain could do for the daffodils, California succulents, and sun-scorched grass that needed her care.

Brandi, a birth and postpartum doula, became a Life Doula, helping people navigate life transitions, such as birth, postpartum, death, or rebirth. She helps clients capture their joy, transition through various rooms of life, and cultivate their highest selves.

Thriving is different from survival, as it involves intentional gathering of all things possible and creating the best-case scenario for growth. It's a rebellious middle finger to the expectation that we must only exist, sacrificing our experience on earth. Thriving is our will to live and breathe and taste life fully, savoring it on our tongue and leaving us full in our belly.

Brandi hopes that her stories and lessons in this book can help readers find ways to thrive in the spaces of discomfort, as that's been her life's journey.

As a Life Doula, I have witnessed four great labors that we must move through in our lives. These labors push us to our superpower of vulnerability and solidity. These labors are:

1. Relationships: Uncovering intimacy and unhealed wounds in relationships can lead to unhealthy relationships.

2. Mental health: Understanding our mind and self-belief is crucial for finding peace of mind. Acknowledging the need for support, compassion, and more is essential.

3. Grief and loss: Dealing with grief and loss is a labor that everyone experiences. It is essential to talk through this process together and find a way to carry on in this world.

4. Being othered: Being marginalized and dealing with potential weathering can leave us feeling depleted and worn. However, we are worthy of divine bliss, defiant freedom, and love.

The book breaks down each labor into four rooms, using plant symbolism as a visual point of reference and cultivating self-curiosity. We will visit the room of relationships to unearth our partnership with ourselves and others, dig into our wounds, egos, and deep desire for connection, and find a place of sanctuary and self-awareness.

5. Mental health: Exploring trauma responses and triggers, we will find a place of deep self-compassion and healing after loss.

6. Being othered: Digging through history and understanding how society has contributed to our othering, depletion, and ways of thinking. By reclaiming our rest and ourselves, we can find our true north.

The author recounts her experience of two miscarriages and the birth of her second child, Jedi. Her pregnancy was filled with missed bathroom opportunities and failed attempts to make it to the toilet in time. Despite her husband's efforts to help, she experienced irregular contractions and a 12-hour waiting period. This experience taught her the lesson of release and the illusion of control.

The author's miscarriage before Jedi brought further emotional upendings, which can be experienced after any loss. The fear of venturing into another relationship can be frightening and unsettling. The author chose to relinquish control and celebrate the unknown, holding gratitude for the uncontrollable and the mystery behind it.

As the hours passed, it became clear that she was not controlling anything. At the hospital, she was only 2-3 centimeters dilated, which meant there was still a long road ahead before baby made its appearance. However, this moment of frustration showed that progress was being made even within stagnation. The hospital admitted her and took them to their birthing room, where they prepared their space and played Miles Davis on their phones. Eventually, they fell asleep in hopes of meeting baby by morning light.

The author shares their experience of being pregnant and the challenges they faced during labor. They emphasized the importance of being present and not focusing on the clock, which can hinder their growth and connection with their baby. They also emphasized the importance of letting go of unrealistic goals and timelines, as this can lead to personal and relative growth.

The author also shares the concept of transition, which is the most challenging part of labor, where heaven and earth meet. This transition is often referred to as the door, and it is the deciding factor to either sink or swim. The birthing person and their baby are the only ones who can walk through the door, as it is their journey.

Labor transition can bring up any and everything below the surface, such as childhood trauma or the need to control the birthing process. Doulas, who are not epidurals, are not magic, but rather their grit, breath, and the teacher within. Sages have correlated this transition moment during labor to pregnant people leaving their bodies to retrieve their babies' souls.

The author emphasizes that labor transition is a hallowed place, and the hallelujah of it all can be felt on the other side of pain. In challenging moments, one must actively choose to make friends with the discomfort and emerge on the other side, sitting within the exhaustion and power of their most arduous life work.

The author shares her experience of childbirth, describing it as a wild, primal, ancestral, and ancient experience. She describes the pain and uncertainty as a portal to growth and joy, and how each contraction is a step forward towards her son. She calls these moments the waves and encourages readers to imagine them as incoming tides, trusting that they will not break them but will carry them through.

Birth can be a teacher, guiding participants through lessons from their past and along the path of growth. The author believes that each person has an inner teacher that guides them through life's challenges. This inner voice can be your breath, the attunement thereof, or the pause before agreeing to say yes. By trusting your intuition, body, and the teacher within, you can realize that you already have everything you need to thrive.

The lessons learned during Jedi's delivery included letting go, releasing, and thriving within any space inhabited, even the tough ones. The author compared her thriving to that of plant life, as humans are similar to plants in their need for water and sunshine. They both navigate and actively search for the most hospitable spaces to live and grow, foraging through areas of gratitude, triumph, happiness, joy, or denser emotions like loss, grief, and disappointment.

In conclusion, the