Down and Back: A Guide to Living Happy with Depression

By Julia Novak

DISCOVER THE TRUTH OF YOUR POWER TO LIVE A CONTENTED LIFE 

All the power you think you lack is waiting for you in the dark, masquerading as overwhelm, depression, and disconnection. You really do know who you are and what you want.

Down and Back is a holistic guide to turn you

• Language: English
• Publisher: Julia Novak
• Release date: Jun 6, 2022
• ISBN: 9781732319134

Julia Novak

Julia Novak is a respected psychic medium, spiritual counselor, and writer committed to embodying and teaching intuition and self-trust. A self-realized high priestess, she's dedicated over 25 years to connecting others to their psychic sensitivity and the spiritual wisdom of Divine Consciousness.Catapulted into the realm of Spirit and energy by early childhood trauma, Julia learned "to see in the dark," and uses the gift of inspired psychic vision through private readings and energetic healing to empower clients. Her experience and teachings are summarized in her book Down and Back: A Guide to Living Happy with Depression.She holds a Bachelor of Science degree in journalism from the University of Kansas, completed master's coursework in counseling and consciousness studies; and received certifications in women's intuition studies. She consults and writes from her home near San Francisco, California. For more information see www.julianovak.net

Book preview

Down and Back

A Guide to Living Happy with Depression

Julia Novak

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AngelHeart Books

Copyright © 2018 by Julia Novak. AngelHeart Books, Pleasant Hill, CA

All rights reserved.

No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher or author, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.

For reprint permission please contact the author at www.julianovak.net.

limits of liability and disclaimer of warranty

The author shall not be liable for your use or misuse of this material. the contents are strictly for informational and educational purposes only.

The purpose of this book is to educate and entertain. The author does not guarantee that anyone following these techniques, strategies, suggestions, or activities will be successful. the author shall have neither liability nor responsibility to anyone with respect any loss or damage caused, or alleged to be caused, directly or indirectly by the information contained in this book.

This book is not intended to be a substitute for the medical advice of a licensed physician or mental health professional. The reader should consult with a doctor or mental health professional in any matters relating to his/her/their health or psychological well-being.

Second Edition printed 2022

ISBN (print): 978-1-7323191-2-7

ISBN (e-book): 978-1-7323191-4-1

Library of Congress Control Number 2019904480

Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Preface

Introduction

1. My Story

2. Credit for the Small Things

3. You're Not Crazy, You're Just Psychic

4. Darkness

5. Walk Between Worlds

6. Creativity

7. The Creative Cycle

8. Shut Up and Listen

9. How to Listen

10. Banished Parts

11. Welcome All Feelings

12. Care of the Soul

13. Intuition and Spirit

14. Re-Connecting

15. Art and Science of Happiness

16. The Power of Place

17. Be Your Own Feng Shui Expert

18. Lightness

Appendix

Notes

Resources

Want to Know More? A Gift for You!

To Phillip, Katia, and Zoe

You always believed

To Mama

Your love for books led me

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Acknowledgments

I gratefully acknowledge my loving friends Yvonne Hayward, Lars Rasmussen, and Christina Rathbun who held the vision of this book with me. To Georgie Robinson, Lisa Riddiough, Gina Vance, and Celenia Delsol, thank you for your feedback and support as early readers.

And to my editor Renee Settle. Thank you for your dedication, humor, and trust in divine timing.

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Preface

When I wrote this book in 2018 I intended to reach out to others like me who suffered from depression and believed they’d never be free of it. I wrote to share small yet mighty ways to get a toe-hold out of the pit of depression and actually live a contented, even joyful and magical life.  My goal was to help just one person see the power in their sensitivity, then my purpose would be fulfilled. 

The world has changed dramatically since then. My intention is bigger now,  The Covid-19 pandemic underscored an undeniable reality—we are ALL connected.

Although the scariest part of the pandemic seems to be over, the fallout from it and the last few years of social and political unrest left many more people feeling disempowered and adrift. We’ve confronted extraordinary events and rare probabilities and have no grounding of prior experience, either our own or others, to direct our next steps.

There’s no normal to go back to, so where do we go to feel empowered? Our mind, writes psychologist Daniel Kahneman, is not designed to get things right when this happens. So now more than ever, we need something beyond our logical mind to assist in crafting a contented life in the midst of chaos and the unknown. That’s where deeper spiritual connection comes in. Now more than ever it is up to us to establish that sense of home and grounding within.

I believe at the core of my being that our outer world is a direct reflection of our inner world. If we change ourselves, we can change the world. That means that we can as individuals do our inner work and have a direct impact not only on what we experience, but on the state of our children’s lives and humanity as a whole. Knowing we have the power to save ourselves is more crucial now than ever. We need to know how to find solid footing and a clear vision to move our lives and the rest of the world forward in a way that brings us peace and purpose. We have to know what we do matters.

It all starts by befriending the parts of ourselves, like the darker parts of the world we fear or shun, and embrace them to find the gold within the darkness. We are all alchemists, capable of taking the leaden parts we identify with and reveal the gold that is our true Self, our highest self, that’s connected to the universal language of the soul—intuition.

I am hopeful.  As systems broke down our eyes opened perspective changed. These unprecedented years were an opportunity for many to discover what’s truly important to them, and have restructured their time and priorities. We learned we can make do with far less. That people are more important than things.

We humans have been down a long dark road as we struggle with our nature, and our relationship with the natural world. We can choose how we make our way back. My wish for you is that you find in these pages your light in the darkness, and come to embody the brilliance of your Spirit that endures no matter what. 

Julia Novak

March 2022

Introduction

You know all about depression; what it looks, feels, and sounds like, all the causes and cures.  And, you have probably tried all kinds of things to get out of it, deal with it, and get rid of it.   You know all the reasons why you’re depressed, and they are probably legitimate. You already know a lot. I get that.

What I’d like you to consider is that even though you know a lot, this might be the time in your life when you hear things differently. With an open mind, it’s possible to understand something old in a new way. Perhaps something has changed internally that allows you to see your behavior or life in a way you never could before. Maybe recent events pushed you to the brink and made you desperate for answers.  Or maybe you finally found peace and are willing to do whatever it takes to keep it. It took what it took to get you to this point. You’ve stumbled upon this book now for a reason.

It’s all about timing.

Timing is when events, people, and understanding come together just as they are supposed to, when they are supposed to.  It doesn’t matter how much you’ve pushed to make something happen if it is not the right time, it isn’t going to happen.  It’s like forcing a baby to be born or a plant to grow. Some things require a natural (divine) schedule that are beyond our control. The conditions must be right for something new to take form. Looking back at my life, I see timing in action and all the ways I missed it or used it to improve my health and happiness.

Despite seeking help early on to live with depression, I was slowly dying with it; getting further away from myself spiritually and emotionally, circling a desire for early physical death.  Even with an emotional vocabulary and spiritual tools, I spent years trying to build a normal life with one hand as I fended off depression with the other. 

That’s not living, that’s battling. 

For me, the timing as far as succeeding in life took far longer than I’d hoped. Ironically, I understand now that my desire to get rid of depression kept me from healing and opening to a more peaceful, fulfilling life.  Now I am genuinely living with depression in the sense that I have an incredible landscape of emotions, beliefs, and experiences open to me that includes a place for depression.

Depression is not my entire world; it is part of it. A world that I consciously create by using simple tools and processes that I’ve accumulated and practiced, and now joyfully share with you, as I’ve done with clients for over 25 years. I’m not a doctor and don’t pretend to have all the answers. But decades of living with depression caused by trauma, heredity, postpartum hormones, and the death of loved ones taught me practical and powerful ways to move through it and live a good life.

I’m not saying that you have to do exactly what I do or have done to stay alive and thrive.  I offer the things that helped when I was hopelessly depressed and unable to break through, that reached the part of me who was so committed to being in pain and didn’t know it. The me for whom nothing worked. 

It’s important to note that for some people anti-depressant medication is necessary, particularly in crises situations. However, seek out doctors who understand the varying effects medication has on sensitive people and that one type and dosage does not fit all.

If you’re skeptical and believe nothing you’ve done to help yourself works, just maybe the timing is right, and there’s something new here that clicks.  If you think you know it all, this book is definitely for you.  If you believe your history and genetics condemn you to a life of misery, please give these pages a chance and let it be a possibility for you.

By doing so, you’ll find a new perspective on depression that turns your experiences in a more positive direction.  You’ll discover your innate power and the infinite wisdom of your Spirit that’s been there all along.

You’ll learn to listen to the needs of depression, heed the call to a happier life, and understand and appreciate how to build a bridge from despair and sadness to contentment and ultimately, to living your life purpose—to just be more of who you are.

1

My Story

I left Kansas on a warm June morning in 1983 with cow shit stench wafting through the window from the feedlot five miles away. My parents stood in the driveway shoulder to shoulder, teary-eyed, waving goodbye. They figured I’d turn around before I made it to Uncle Joe’s house in Denver. I had $300 in my wallet with my mom’s new credit card for emergencies and a trunk filled with everything I owned. I had no job waiting and no real plan—other than crashing on the couch of a college buddy for a month while I looked for work.

It’s a long flat freeway with nothing breaking the horizon for six hours from my hometown to Denver. Acres of wheat turned green to gold, lush hay swirled and bent in the breeze, ready to be cut and bailed into huge rolls, and the occasional pumping unit slowly dipped its head toward the earth, as if lapping up the crude oil for the lucky family who owned the land. I spent an uneasy night in Uncle Joe’s basement, helping myself to a few beers from the little frig behind his bar. In the morning Aunt Rusty made me pancakes, smoking menthol cigarettes as she sipped coffee and watched me eat.

Interstate 80 stretched across Wyoming like a long lonely ribbon through rolling hills and wide-open space, often without a living soul to be seen. I propped a novel on top of the steering wheel and read to pass the hours, glancing from book to windshield to make sure I was still in my lane.

The Wasatch Mountains rose in Utah like unwelcoming fangs pressing in on the narrow highway. I was a flatlander and had never driven in the mountains. Big rigs whizzed by me on the downhill, rattling my car and my nerves as I passed a screaming yellow sign announcing a Runaway Truck Ramp in 500 feet. I banked through curves and braked to stay under control, wondering if I could use the exit if I needed. My eyes darted to the rearview mirror, wary of things bigger than me sneaking up behind me.

A pink neon clown in downtown Reno beckoned me to stay the night, but I got screwed up by the one-way streets and missed the entrance to Circus-Circus hotel. A golden lion located down the block was my next choice, so I pulled into the new MGM Grand Casino, grateful to find liquid courage flowing freely from the bar after a dry night in uptight Salt Lake City. My courage didn’t last when I awoke to a fire alarm clanging in the middle of the night. I called my mom despite the hour, unsure if I should leave my room or wait out the noise.

In just a few days, I’d traded dirt roads for 8-lane freeways. A high narrow bridge, my first of many in the Bay Area, carried me across what looked like a lake. Far below gray battleships anchored at an empty shore, ghostly and out of place.

Once off the freeway, I snaked past taquerias and low riders, small working-class cottages with palm trees and bright flowers, and tiny Vietnamese women crouched at a bus stop. Strange faces I’d never seen in my white bread world were everywhere, speaking tongues I couldn’t understand.   As I drove the last block to my friend’s apartment complex, the sharp scent of eucalyptus poured through the open window, clearing my nose but nothing else.

My head spun when my feet finally touched down in California, blown by the storm of my life in Kansas. I thought it would be better than where I’d been. I was wrong. This was just the start of my real search for home.

I’d grown up outside a small town in a big, ranch style house made of dark red brick that sat at the end of a sweeping driveway.