Sex and Relationships: Are You The One Holding Yourself Back?
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''A truly inspirational book that really gets you thinking. Profound words, that make you question yourself in a way you may not have done before and really stretches you to see how you can become a better you. Fabulous read, get stuck in and enjoy where it takes you.''
To write a book on Sex and Relationships, most people would expect that I have lived through the experience of difficult relationships and sex in order to become an expert on it and so in my case it just happens that I have. It has taken me a lot of years to understand truly what was holding me back and to find a way of dealing with it, but finally I have and life is finally becoming more of what I would like it to be.
The aim of this book is to share what it is I have learnt and to help bring improvement into the area of sex and relationships within those who read it. It does not try to tell you how you should live your life, but instead what would be good for you to consider so that you too can find improvement in your sex and relationships.
It is very much aimed at setting YOU free to be yourself and to ask questions about your life to see how you can improve it.
Sarah Haywood
Sarah Haywood studied law and has worked as a solicitor, an advice worker and as an investigator of complaints about lawyers. She now lives in the UK with her husband and two sons. The Cactus is her first novel.
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Sex and Relationships - Sarah Haywood
Sex and Relationships
Are you the one holding yourself back?
Published by Sarah Haywood at Smashwords
Originally Edited by Karen Dyke
Copyright 2012 - Sarah Haywood - All rights reserved
Amended Version - April 2016
Contact for Sarah: http://www.aspire2bfree.com
Smashwords Edition – License Notes
Discover other titles by Sarah Haywood at Smashwords.com
Learn To Love Who You Are In 7 Easy Steps
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. The ebook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your own use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Disclaimer
The techniques and advice described in this book represents the opinion of the author based on her experience. The author expressly disclaims any responsibility for any liability, loss or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a result of using any of the advice or recommendations suggested herein. If in any doubt, or if requiring medical advice, please contact the appropriate health professional.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I wish to thank the many people who have touched my life. I particularly would like to thank my parents, family, friends, children, ex husband and ex boyfriends for sharing with me experiences that have all helped in giving me a good understanding of relationships. These in turn have led me to take time out of my life to consider how it is that I could change patterns of behaviour in my own life which would help me to find true happiness within. By passing on the information I have learnt on the way to others, I hope that it will in turn help them to find true happiness within, which consequently would lead to happy and successful relationships and great sex now and in the future.
If there is one thing that I have learnt more than anything else, it is that the only person truly responsible for your own feelings is yourself. By acknowledging this and understanding this, all future relationships and sexual encounters will have a much better chance of surviving for as long as you choose for them to.
A BRIEF LOOK AT MY LIFE
To write a book on Sex and Relationships, most people would expect that I have lived through the experience of difficult relationships and sex in order to become an expert on it. In my case it just happens that I have.
Growing up was a challenging time. I came to believe that I was not as worthy as others and fell into a spiral of seeing myself and life in a negative way.
As a result I attracted a marriage that held the same negative experience caused by my own outlook of who I was - after all this was what was familiar.
Although positive in my approach to learning the negativity around love for myself was evident in the way life felt. After two years of being married, I knew in my heart that I had entered into a relationship that was not right for me but because of my own perception of what I thought was right and wrong, I stayed put for a further twelve years, bringing three children into the world in the hope that they would create a happier and more fulfilled life for me within this relationship.
However, sadly this was not to be, for lovely though they are, the difficulties lay within myself and it was when I had reached an uncomfortable level of sadness within me that I finally started to look elsewhere for the love that was lacking both from my husband and myself and a new journey began.
I threw myself into relationship after relationship in a need to find true love and create the happy family environment that I had so wanted in the first place. I moved into each one quickly and attached myself to the love, affection and sex that they gave to me that had been so lacking during my early life and during my marriage.
I soon discovered that love and affection from another was not enough to bring me true happiness within. My own lack of love for myself was the very cause of my unhappiness.
Without this love for myself I was unable to find true satisfaction with another for I constantly put expectations and demands on myself, my partner and the relationship due to the neediness that I felt within.
Following constant disappointment and much hurt, caused by me to others and by others to me, I finally realised that I needed to look within to see what was the cause of my unhappiness and the dissatisfaction in my life. After all, my children too had been subjected to change after change that was starting to take its toll. Added to this was a great lack of support in general both emotionally and physically by my family and my ex husband in bringing them up.
I started to work on releasing my emotional difficulties using EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). Although great, this alone was not enough. It was making a positive difference in letting go of my difficult emotional state and I was helping others to do the same. But my relationships with others were still not changing.
I had to change something else. I was still attracting difficult relationships into my life. Life felt like one struggle after another. The lack of support continued and debt continued to increase. My children were becoming more challenging and life generally felt disappointing and out of balance.
I needed to change my lifestyle - my whole approach to my life. I needed to love who I was - to appreciate all the good things in my life and to appreciate and value me.
As well as clearing my mind of the negative thoughts, I began to connect to my spiritual self - to appreciate and love me from the very core.
This has truly changed my life. It has connected me to things that before I would never have contemplated. I have made changes in my lifestyle that have created a much healthier way of living. I am finally becoming the role model to my children that I have always hoped to be.
My friendships have become more meaningful. My relationship with