Summary of STFU By Dan Lyons: The Power of Keeping Your Mouth Shut in an Endlessly Noisy World

By Willie M. Joseph

DISCLAIMER

This book does not in any capacity mean to replace the original book but to serve as a vast summary of the original book.

Summary of STFU By Dan Lyons: The Power of Keeping Your Mouth Shut in an Endlessly Noisy World

 

IN THIS SUMMARIZED BOOK, YOU WILL GET:

• Chapter astute outline of the main contents.
• Fast & simple understanding of the content analysis.
• Exceptionally summarized content that you may skip in the original book

 

Dan Lyons' book STFU is a public service announcement to shut the f*ck up and focus on what matters. It combines leading behavioral science with actionable advice on how to communicate with intent, think critically, and open your mind and ears to the world. It gives you the tools to become your better self, whether that's in the office, at home, online, or in your relationships.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Willie M. Joseph
• Release date: Mar 11, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215730423

Willie M. Joseph

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Book preview

INTRODUCTION

Learning to shut the fuck up will change your life, making you smarter, more likable, more creative, and more powerful. It also improves relationships, makes us better parents, and can boost our psychological and physical wellbeing. Studies have shown that people who spend less time blabbing and devote more time to substantive conversations are happier than everyone else, so having good conversations is a key ingredient to a satisfied life. However, not being able to keep your opinions to yourself can cost you millions of dollars. Overtalkers can survive in journalism, but must be obnoxious enough to say things that people don't want to hear.

This story is about a journalist who talked their way into a marketing role at a software start-up and was offered a great salary, amazing benefits, and a generous stock option package. However, he mouthed off about the CEO in an impulsive Facebook post and was voted off the island after twenty months. Six years later, he looked at the company's stock price and discovered that if he had lasted four years and held all his shares, they would now have been worth eight million dollars. His compulsive overtalking and lack of impulse control led to a separation from his wife and nearly cost him his marriage. This led him to a search to find the answers to two questions: why are some people compulsive talkers and how can we fix it?

He discovered that all of us, not just overtalkers, stand to gain by talking less, listening more, and communicating with intention. The world is filled with overtalkers, and it is not just me. We live in a world that encourages overtalking, where success is measured by how much attention we can attract. We are inundated with podcasts, YouTube, social media, chat apps, cable TV, and more than a billion meetings a year, but only 11% of them are productive and half are a complete waste of time. The most powerful and successful people do the opposite, holding back and being careful about what they say.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg's Two-Mississippi Rule is an example of how to engage with the world in ways that give us an advantage. This book is about learning how to shut the fuck up and improve our own lives and the lives of those around us. Shutting up should be the easiest thing in the world, but it requires a lot of concentration and is often more difficult than talking. We can make the world a better place if we all turn down the volume a little bit.

The most important details in this text are the five ways to STFU, which are a daily practice that can help an overtalker become more mindful of how they are speaking. These practices include saying nothing, master the power of the pause, quitting social media, seeking out silence, and disconnecting from the world. These practices can help to reduce the amount of time we spend on our phones, which can lead to health problems and even shorten our lives. Research suggests that silence can help us grow brain cells, so it is important to learn how to listen. Active listening is an active endeavor that involves blocking out everything else and paying fierce attention to what the other person is saying.

When I do this, I feel calmer, less anxious, and more in control, which makes me less likely to overtalk. I also see the effect on the people around me, as my teenage daughter and I sit on the porch in the evening and have long conversations filled with laughter. Learning to STFU means pushing back against a world that encourages us to talk more, not less. This book explains how STFU can be applied at home, at work, and in matters of the heart, and how becoming a great listener will transform your life. It is a practice, not a miracle cure, but it will help you become a little bit happier, a little bit healthier, and a little more successful.

THE TALKAHOLIC SCALE

WHAT WE TALK ABOUT WHEN WE TALK ABOUT OVERTALKING

The two researchers who created the Talkaholic Scale, Virginia Richmond and James C. McCroskey, described talkaholism as an addiction akin to alcoholism and said that while a