Four Stinky Stories: Vol. 3: Four Stinky Stories, #3

By Donald Rump

What's that I see? Four more stinky stories that are sure to enliven anyone's day!

Included in this fartabulous foursome:

CAPTIVE AUDIENCE

Three men, one blonde secretary, a jammed up elevator, and a series of ghastly, deadly farts. What could possibly go wrong?

BUTT-DIALING BASTARD

When Lenny Ludwitz gets a call from a mysterious stranger, he knows that he's totally f*cked. After going round and round with the knucklehead caller, Lenny and his trio of halfwit friends come to the only conclusion that they can--that the call, indeed, is originating from his bunghole.

THE WOULD BE ASSTRONAUT

He's going to be the first man on the moon, dagnabbit, and he's going to do it without the aid of a space suit or even a space ship.

FLOOFED AT 40,000 FEET

It's a swell day aboard Crampton Airways Flight 007 until a passenger decides to follow his heart (and nose) out the airplane by cracking open the emergency door. Before long, others follow, chasing their dreams to certain death. What exactly has gotten into them?

***BONUS!***

KEEPING WIND LATEN AND THE REST OF THE WORLD AT BAY

Great heavens, the armored kingdoms are under attack! And King Krakken, the domain’s irritable ruler, has an impossible decision. Should he scramble the air ships and meet the encroaching enemy head on or listen to his counsel and hold firm? Either way, the green death is upon him and it’s only a matter of time before he comes face-to-face with the infamous Wind Laten.

Approximately 12,000 words.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Scott Gordon
• Release date: Jul 1, 2017
• ISBN: 9781386589587

Donald Rump

When he's not writing about old, crusty farts, Donald Rump writes about actual farts--the stinkier the better. He is also an advocate of the No Fart Left Behind program and marriage equality for all gaseous entities great and small. Mr. Rump lives in Southern Maryland with his pet fart Floofy. (Note: Image licensed by DepositPhotos.com and © Matthew Britton.)

Book preview

Four Stinky Stories, Vol. 3 by Donald RumpFour Masterpieces of Fart Fiction!

Four Stinky Stories, Vol. 3

Donald Rump

Also by Donald Rump

20 Common Questions About Farts

A Lonely, Wayward Fart Named Steve (Episode 1)

Date Like A Scoundrel: 10 Things to Tell Ugly Chicks on a First Date

Bottling Farts (English, Spanish, Italian)

Bottling Farts, Inc. (Episode 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Captive Audience

Crazy Authors Volume 1

Finding Floofy (English, Spanish)

Five Reasons Why Dating Hot Chicks is a Bad Idea

Floofed at 40,000 Feet

Four Stinky Stories Vol. 1 (English, Spanish)

Four Stinky Stories Vol. 2 (English, Spanish)

Gastrointestinal Blues

Going Dutch (English, Spanish)

Keeping Wind Laten and the Fate of the World at Bay

Marriage Stinks (English, Spanish)

The $500 Question (English, Spanish)

The Chapped-Ass Critic (English, Spanish)

The Would Be Asstronaut (English, Spanish)

Till Death Do Us Fart (English, Spanish, Dutch)

Weekend Getaway (English, Spanish)

© 2017 Donald Rump. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form (electronic, mechanical or otherwise) without the express written consent of the author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locations or persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.

E-book layout, formatting and design by Donald Rump.

Written, edited and produced in the United States of America. Donald Rump is proud to represent beautiful Orlando, Florida.

Image(s) licensed by DepositPhotos.com and © Roman Yakovliev (cover, #26123237), Noppadol Anaporn (Captive Audience, #47736927), Valentyn Pidburtnyi (Butt-Dialing Bastard, #40453309), Karl Kotas (The Would Be Asstronaut, #10460376), Phaisarn Wongkulchata (Wind Laten, #71915691), Nataliia Natykach (Wind Laten, #12780416) and Andrew Grossman (Wind Laten, #38898187). Fart drawings by Mel Casipit.

Background texture for Butt-Dialing Bastard © Pixabay and used in accordance with the public domain license(s) described on the following page:

https://pixabay.com/en/sunshine-rays-yellow-background-17828/

Cellphone artwork © Pixabay and used in accordance with the public domain license(s) described on the following page:

https://pixabay.com/en/smartphone-cell-phone-149622/

Angry face artwork © Pixabay and used in accordance with the public domain license(s) described on the following page:

https://pixabay.com/en/angry-face-emoticon-animations-33059/

Background for Floofed at 40,000 Feet © Dawn Hudson and used in accordance with the CC0 Public Domain license(s) described on the following page:

http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=204107&picture=beach-wave

First Edition (v1.0)

Published on July 1, 2017

Last updated on July 2, 2017

ISBN-13: 9781386589587

Table of Contents

Title Page

Also by Donald Rump

Copyright

Strange Words To Ponder

Cover: Book 1

Captive Audience

Cover: Book 2

Butt-Dialing Bastard

Cover: Book 3

The Would Be Asstronaut

Cover: Book 4

Floofed at 40,000 Feet

Bonus Content

Cover: Book 5

Keeping Wind Laten and the Fate of the World at Bay

My Two Cents

Product Description

About the Author

Ad 1: Till Death Do Us Fart

Ad 2: 20 Common Questions About Farts

Ad 3: Four Stinky Stories, Vol. 1

Thank You!

The more I do this job, the more I wonder...

If someone lit all of the gas being emitted from everyone’s bungholes at the same time, would the earth explode? Or would it merely smell like my ex-wife?

I guess there’s only one way to find out. Fire in the bungholio!!!

--President Rump

Cover: Book 1

Captive Audience

You can’t be serious, Barton Rinway lowered his Monday paper. Well, it wasn’t me. He shrugged and began reading again.

There was another floof, followed by the collective groan of the other three passengers in the elevator.

If it was me, I’d have to be a world class ventriloquist—out my ass! Clearly the sound came from the opposite side of the elevator. He gave an evil eye to the young, blonde receptionist who had recently started working at Rincon Enterprises a few weeks before. Maybeleine, he thought her name was.

You aren’t seriously going to blame me, are you? Maybeliene glanced at the three men in the elevator.

Well, who else could it be? Oh dear... Barton fanned the stench away with his newspaper. "Women are always the last to admit when they’ve broken wind. Over the years, they’ve brainwashed the