Four Stinky Stories Vol. 4

By Donald Rump

Can you believe it? Four more stinky stories have squeaked out, including these ghastly ghost turds:

PUT ANOTHER FART IN THE JUKEBOX, BABY

When Brad Blemmings meets his blind date at Fifty Something, a retro shake and burger joint, he's not sure what to expect. But the goth beauty Maimah is quite a handful, and then there's the matter of the farting jukebox in the corner...

PEDO FLAMBÉ

When an old man hobbles into the Palazzio and demands his favorite dish, the peculiar Pedo Flambé, the wait staff isn't sure what to make of it.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't have such a thing on our menu." His baby-faced waiter Zach Spitz frowns.

"You sure about that?" The old man slaps down a $100 bill.

"Of course, sir. Right away, sir!" Zach's manager snatches up the bill and runs back to the kitchen.

FART LOVER SUPREME

Kimberly Grant is ruthless, and wants a taco. Thankfully, she's found a sucker to give it to her. Big time!

DON'T COUNT YOUR CHICKEN FARTS BEFORE THEY HATCH

When Miles Puggsley spends his last dollar on a carton of empty eggs, he realizes he's reached rock bottom and the end is near. But there's a basement to the misery he now endures, especially for the once proud DMV specialist turned exorcist. Can a band of wild chicken farts change his fortunes?

No, probably not.

BONUS: THE HAIRIEST BUTT

The search for the hairiest butt on Venus leads to explosive results.

Approximately 15,500 words.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Donald Rump
• Release date: Feb 21, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393957058

Donald Rump

When he's not writing about old, crusty farts, Donald Rump writes about actual farts--the stinkier the better. He is also an advocate of the No Fart Left Behind program and marriage equality for all gaseous entities great and small. Mr. Rump lives in Southern Maryland with his pet fart Floofy. (Note: Image licensed by DepositPhotos.com and © Matthew Britton.)

Book preview

Four Stinky Stories: Vol. 4 by Donald RumpFour More Masterpieces of Fart Fiction!

Four Stinky Stories

Vol. 4

Donald Rump

Also by Donald Rump

20 Common Questions About Farts

A Lonely, Wayward Fart Named Steve (Episode 1)

Date Like A Scoundrel: 10 Things to Tell Ugly Chicks on a First Date

Bottling Farts (English, Spanish, Italian)

Bottling Farts, Inc. Season 1 (Episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

Captive Audience

Crazy Authors Volume 1

Don't Count Your Chicken Farts Before They Hatch

Fart Lover Supreme

Finding Floofy (English, Spanish)

Five Reasons Why Dating Hot Chicks is a Bad Idea

Floofed at 40,000 Feet

Four Stinky Stories Vol. 1 (English, Spanish)

Four Stinky Stories Vol. 2 (English, Spanish)

Four Stinky Stories Vol. 3

Four Stinky Stories Vol. 4

Gastrointestinal Blues

Going Dutch (English, Spanish)

Keeping Wind Laten and the Fate of the World at Bay

Marriage Stinks (English, Spanish, Dutch)

Pedo Flambé

Put Another Fart in the Jukebox, Baby

The $500 Question (English, Spanish)

The Chapped-Ass Critic (English, Spanish)

The Hairiest Butt

The Would Be Asstronaut (English, Spanish)

Till Death Do Us Fart (English, Spanish, Dutch)

Weekend Getaway (English, Spanish)

© 2020 Donald Rump. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form (electronic, mechanical or otherwise) without the express written consent of the author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locations or persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.

E-book layout, formatting and design by Donald Rump.

Image(s) licensed by DepositPhotos.com and © Roman Yakovliev (cover, #26122931), Stanislav Rishnyak (Put Another Fart in the Jukebox, Baby, #2567011), Sergiy Tryapitsyn (Pedo Flambé, #60340227), Angga Mahardika Putra (Fart Lover Supreme, #250439734), Evgenii Naumov (Fart Lover Supreme, #322367502), Piotr Stryjewski (Don't Count Your Chicken Farts Before They Hatch, #44105603) and Sean Prior (The Hairiest Butt, #147335681). Fart drawings by Mel Casipit.

First Edition (v1.0)

Published on February 21, 2020

ISBN-13: 9781393957058

Table of Contents

Title Page

Also by Donald Rump

Copyright

Dedication

Cover: Book 1

Put Another Fart in the Jukebox, Baby

Cover: Book 2

Pedo Flambé

Cover: Book 3

Fart Lover Supreme

Cover: Book 4 - Don’t Count Your Chicken Farts Before They Hatch

Chapter 1: Fowl

Chapter 2: Chicken Puggsley

Chapter 3: Outgunned

Chapter 4: All Good

Chapter 5: The Good Life

Chapter 6: Paradise Unraveled

Chapter 7: Taco Hell

Bonus Content

Cover: Book 5

The Hairiest Butt

My Two Cents

Product Description

About the Author

Ad 1: Till Death Do Us Fart

Ad 2: 20 Common Questions About Farts

Ad 3: Four Stinky Stories, Vol. 1

Thank You!

Dedication

To Hannah, who’s broken more wind than I have.

Please, darling. Don’t stand so close to the stove...

—Donald Rump's famous last words

Cover: Book 1

Put Another Fart in the Jukebox, Baby

She was a little goth around the edges: shoulder-length black hair with a hint of fire streaking through it, wild in some places, but largely well-kept. The black eyeliner was a dead give away, but I’d seen more liberal use before, particularly among Marilyn Manson groupies. A silver band with skulls and spikes adorned her wrist, but they were smallish, unthreatening; like me, I suppose. Decorative only, in a way it projected a hint of class. Her dress was a bit odd: mostly black and frayed around the edges, giving off an erratic vibe but again manageable, perhaps beautiful. The more you gazed into it, the more you lost yourself in its elusive pattern. Her earrings played tricks on me. Each was a quarter moon, slender and silver. Occasionally I’d look up, and one would be slightly larger than the other. A half moon? How could that be? But the crowning achievement was her bright pale porcelain skin which seemed to glow. My beautiful glow worm of a date, wrapped in yesterday’s trash. Clearly I was moving up in the world.

I’ve never done this before, I admitted.

What, gone on a date? She pulled her hair back in a small bun and tied it there, teasing strands falling down beside each cheek.

Answering a Craigslist ad. Normally I meet people at work, or through friends or family or...

But that’s not going so well for you these days. Is it, Brad? She raised an eyebrow and leaned forward, gazing at me with her striking green eyes. Maimah. She held out one hand, then retracted it before I could put mine in hers.

Nice to meet you, Maimah. I leaned back and smiled. Damn, she was gorgeous. An original, for sure. The more I stared at her, the more I liked what I saw.

Now be a darling and put a dime in the jukebox, baby. She chewed her gum and winked at me.

A dime? I felt around.

A dime, a quarter. Whatever it goes for these days.

I’m sorry, but I don’t think I have any...

Maimah frowned and shot me that same dirty look again. Clearly I was