The Hench Woman's Handbook

By Tara O'Donnell

The Hench Woman's Handbook is an unwritten guide to becoming the best super villain assistant
that you can be.

One fateful night, this hard earned wisdom is passed along to a giddy young ingenue, eager to get her start in this highly competitive crime field, from a veteran villain who appears to be past her prime.

Over the course of a few drinks at a sinister dive, five key tips on how to play the bad guy game, along with memories of her life and times as the right hand woman to the notorious Master Class, are passed from mentor to student. However, more than one lesson is learned that night and the final grade that is given may prove to be F for Fatal.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tara O'Donnell
• Release date: Aug 19, 2011
• ISBN: 9781465743534

Tara O'Donnell

I'm a pop culture blogger who covers books,film and TV,plus other trends at Living Read Girl. I was once an independent bookseller who hopes to become a published author someday.

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The Hench Woman’s Hand Book/By Tara O’Donnell/Cover art by Stephanie O'Donnell/Smashwords edition 2011/Smashwords copyright 2011

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It was somewhat crowded in the bar that night as the nervous young girl walked in, feeling that all eyes in the place were on her and her tightly clad rear. For the hundredth time, she’d wished that she had gone with the leopard print pantsuit instead of the shiny black dress with matching jacket that was outlining every inch of her figure there.

She had hoped to make a good impression on the person she was seeking out, who hopefully her source was right about being a regular feature in one of the corner booths at this dive every other weekday night. Breathing a sigh of relief was hard to do while wearing a bra that felt more like a straightjacket but let one out she did when the object of her quest came into view.

That object was a woman several years older than her, sitting alone at a table capable of seating six or more. The booth was partly concealed by a gauzy curtain which was pulled back far enough to allow drinks to be refilled in front of the silent occupant and to let out some of the smoke trailing off of her dangling cigarette. This was the kind of person to whom mentioning any anti-smoking laws would be potentially more dangerous than any of her second hand smoke.

The heels of the girl in black’s shoes sounded incredibly loud in her ears as she went over to the booth. Before she could say more than Excuse me., a large man in a T shirt nearly tighter than her dress stepped right into her path. You got a problem, Miss?

Why, um, no...That is, I just wanted to...

Back off, Mike. The woman at the booth tapped her cigarette on a small plate that served as her ashtray, leaning forward to give her bodyguard a sharp look. I’m expecting company and it looks like she’s it, okay?

He grunted and moved aside just enough for the still nervous girl to slide into the booth seat opposite her reluctant hostess. Oh, thank you so much, I really appreciate this...

Enough already, girlie-I got your number. A sharp finger snap brought Mike back to the table. Tell Lorenzo to send me a bottle of the good stuff over and bring something for my new gal pal to sip on. Make it virgin for her, whatever it is, got it?

As Mike went into his following orders mode, the older woman waved her smoldering cigarette at her guest, who had placed her designer knockoff purse first on the seat and then on the table space in front of her. So, you're looking to get into the super villain game there, girlie? She took a long drag on her cig, blowing a stream of smoke over both of their heads.

Yes, Mr. Clancy said you might have a few suggestions for me. My name's ...

No names! The cig was stubbed out with a fast thud, causing the plate to jump on the table top. First thing you ought to learn is don't be so quick to give yours out until you know who you're dealing with, got it? Yes, or am I wasting my time already here?

The girl nodded in reply, feeling incredibly stupid which wasn't a new sensation for her. The drinks arrived and she eagerly grabbed at hers, causing Mike to sigh and shake his head as he went back to his post. Her companion poured herself a refill and gave her a smirk along with a head shake. Just look at you, not knowing what to do with that cheap little purse of yours (the girl in black fought the urge to hide it on the seat beside her) and acting all innocent and polite. She snorted as she sipped her refreshed glass.

Mr. Clancy, huh, I remember back when he was just Cuckoo Clancy, another bag man on the make.

Before the girl in black could respond to that, her table mate sat up straight and adjusted the bra straps peeking through the gray green blouse she was wearing, making one of the bangles on her wrist get tangled in a few of the stray stands of red hair dangling from her hairspray helmeted head.

After a few more adjustments to her person, she clutched her drink with both hands and gave the nervous girl in front of her an appraising look. "Yeah, it's easier for men to break into this business than it is for us. All a guy has to do to get recruited is look tough and hang out at the right places