Fanny Price: Slayer of Vampires

By Tara O'Donnell

The classic Jane Austen novel gets a chilling twist as a series of secret letters reveal a menace to Mansfield Park more frightening than a visit from Aunt Norris. Discovered by modern day descendants, this tale of terror that Fanny Price, who never dared to send to her seafaring brother William, chronicles her struggles to defeat the double trouble danger brought on by Mary and Henry Crawford.

This sinister set of siblings with sharp wits and even sharper fangs manage to cast a spell of amiability that hides their deadly desire for Bertram blood. Armed with surety of purpose and a specially sharpened keepsake,can Fanny put aside her creepmouse manners in order to protect the only true home she knows and loves,as well as her beloved Edmund? Or does she have enough difficulty keeping Lady Bertram awake during tea time?

From the author of The Austen Avenger comes Fanny Price,Slayer of Vampires,a fang in cheek celebration of Jane Austen's most underrated heroine on her 200th anniversary. She may speak softly but Fanny does carry quite the sharp stick for staking!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tara O'Donnell
• Release date: Feb 11, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311094391

Tara O'Donnell

I'm a pop culture blogger who covers books,film and TV,plus other trends at Living Read Girl. I was once an independent bookseller who hopes to become a published author someday.

Book preview

Fanny Price, Slayer of Vampires

by Tara O'Donnell/cover art by Stephanie O'Donnell

Inspired by Jane Austen's Mansfield Park

Smashwords Edition 2014

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CONTENTS

Letter of Introduction

Letter the First

A Letter of Explanation

Part Two

Another Brief Note of Explanation

Part Three

Letter the Next to Last

Letter the Last

One Last Word

Author’s Notes

Author/Artist Bio

Other Works by Tara O’Donnell

Recommended Reading

LETTER OF INTRODUCTION

To the readers of these letters,

If you're expecting a big intellectual piece here about the historical nature of the story you're about to read, don't be looking at me for one. I'm lucky that I managed to finish high school on time and sober (that is, if you don't count hangovers).

Most of the credit for even finding this pack of letters should all go to my sister Sue, she does all of that Ancestry.com stuff and she's the one who found out that we had some property over in England-heck, I didn't even know we had English people in our family!

My name is Willie E. Bertram(should have said that first)and me and my sister Susan May are the last two members of this fancy family called Bertram who owned an estate called Mansfield Park over in Northamptonshire, where ever that is. I asked Sue if it was next to Buckingham Palace and she just shook her head at me in that how I am related to this dummy way that she has.

Anyway, Sue went over there and it turns out that inheriting a big house and land in England doesn't make you rich. In fact, most of the property had already been claimed by the government, for back taxes and such, and all we could get was the house and a little bit of land where the local preacher lived.

So, Sue said that renting the place out to a movie company was our best bet for making any money off of it, which sounded fine to me as long as I didn't have to get on a plane and head over there myself.

Mind you, I'm not lazy or anything like that. You don't get to run a decent landscaping business out here in Florida by sitting around and watching Judge Judy all day. I'm just not into planes, period. I was willing to take a cruise ship but apparently you still need a passport to ride on those and I hate waiting in lines at the post office even more, so there you go.

Okay, enough chit chat. Sue sent over a few boxes of stuff from Mansfield for me to look over and take an inventory of, which I was happy to oblige.

In one of those boxes, which was marked White Room Attic, I found a framed drawing of a ship and these letters were tucked in between the picture and the frame.

Sue did a little background check for me, after I read them over. Seems that the Bertrams had a set of poor relations named Price, who were in the Navy back then. Funny, we had a couple of uncles in the Marines-some things don't change, do they?

Anyhow, one of the Price girls named Frances, who was called Fanny by her kin, went to live with her better off folk at Mansfield and stayed in touch with her brother William while he was at sea. The drawing is most likely one of the boats he was stationed on.

The letters that Fanny sent to her brother officially, Sue found in one of the desks but these were hidden away for quite a long while. Sue says that even though none of them are dated, they must be from around 1812 to 1813 there, when Fanny was a teenager and her brother was hoping for a promotion. My sister tried to get me to take them to some Antique Roadshow guy to authenticate them but the story that my great aunt Fanny spins here is a little wacky, to say the least.

Not so wacky ,however ,that I don't mind sharing it with any of you. Sue and I had a difference of opinion over this, but the upshot is that I get the letters and she gets the house and who ever makes the most money out of this deal doesn't have the right to gloat about it to the loser. Sue, of course, thinks she's got the winning hand but I know how to play my cards right and my bet is on you vampire loving people out there.

I'm more of a zombie fan myself but I have seen how big this vampire thing is, what with the movies and TV shows ,not to much all of the T shirts ,key chains and other regular stuff that sells like hotcakes at the mall if you paint it black and paste a picture of pale sparkly kids on it.

But please don't think I look down on anybody who likes that stuff. I like a good monster story same as anybody else and honestly, I think my great-great-great aunt(hope that's enough greats!) was trying her hand at novel writing here. From what Sue found out about her, our Aunt Fanny didn't have much of an exciting life there.

Apart from when her cousins Maria and Julia both had man trouble at the same time and their big brother Tom with his money problems, not to mention baby brother Edmund having to clean up a lot of their messes along with big daddy Bertram(they called him Sir Thomas because he was supposed to be a nobleman but he and his sure didn’t act too noble about a lot of things!), doings at Mansfield were kind of quiet for Fanny.

She happened to be out of town at the time when most of this crazy stuff in these letters happened and maybe being back home with her own folks gave her the idea of rewriting history, so to speak. Fanny did start some of these letters before then but I suspect the reason that she didn't trash them after awhile was perhaps a plan to get them turned into a book and then changing her mind later on there.

Why else would she hide these letters away? I'm pretty sure she may have forgotten all about them and the change of heart in getting them published I firmly believe, especially since Sue checked on some of the folks mentioned in these letters, like this Aunt Norris of hers(who you are not going to like, trust me on that.) who did exist but couldn't track some of the others down like this brother and sister act called the Crawfords.

So, what I think was that she made up some stuff and put her family into to make it sound more realistic there. Whether I'm right or wrong, these letters tell a real spooky story about Fanny fought the good fight against a pair of fancy bloodsuckers and if Abe Lincoln could take down the whole vampire nation, why couldn't my Aunt Fanny stake a few of them?

Sue would be slapping her forehead about now, yelling at me about how that Lincoln thing isn't real but hey ,they find out new things everyday, even in history. Hope you like these letters as much as I did and are willing to prove my sister Sue wrong about me taking a gamble on a bunch of half baked horror movie hokum.

Yes, I memorized that part, sis, and look forward to watching you eat those words with hot buttered popcorn when the movie comes out( Angelina Jolie, you know you want to play a vampire, here's your chance! Brad's done one of these before, he can give you some pointers, I’m sure).

Sincerely,

William Edmund Bertram

Merritt Island, FL

LETTER THE FIRST

My Dearest William,

Since I have already sent you word about the death of our Uncle Norris, this note will be put aside for some time until I am quite sure that it will not be a burden to our remaining uncle, Sir Thomas, to ask for it to be franked.

His funeral was this afternoon, which was done very neatly and economically, according to our Aunt Bertram who told me that her sister Norris saved a good deal of money by getting the undertaker to sell her one of his display coffins for her husband to be buried in.

She was able to purchase it at half price and with a discount for the clergy included in the bill as well. Aunt Bertram did not say this as a critique of her sister or mean it to be so, rather as an observation of the clear minded nature that Aunt Norris possesses, even at such a time.

Aunt Bertram also informed me that I would now be expected to live with her sister at her new lodgings, which are not too far a walk from the main house. Since she always meant to take me, according to Aunt Bertram, her current state of adjustment and absence of company is intended to be made up by me.

As much as I am grateful to my family Bertram for their many kindnesses towards myself and to you, brother, this duty will be hard to carry out.

Aunt Norris is as kind as she can be, I suppose, yet her repeated reminders of how fortunate I am to even be in this household are difficult to bear and how I must never forget that I am not a Miss Bertram, like my dear cousins Maria and Julia, does place an obstacle in my heart's path when it comes to loving her as I should.

Cousin Edmund is the only one who understands some of this and will hopefully be able to offer me encouragement if and when I must move across the park with her. However, what I wanted to share with you is a remembrance of our uncle that has risen up in my mind recently.

It was about a year or so after your first visit to Mansfield. I was assisting Aunt Norris in arranging the flowers in the parish church for the Easter celebrations due to take place the next day and trying to be as useful as I could. My Aunt Norris has very high standards which I was not always able to live up to at that age(or even now, I fear).

During a moment as she was instructing me on how to properly hold up a basket, Uncle Norris inquired My dear Mrs. Norris, were you able to speak to Lady Bertram this morning?

She paused in her instruction to me(Don't be so clumsy, Fanny! were her exact words, I believe)and answered him. Why, yes, I have spoken to her today, at least several times.

He nodded and then said I only mention it because you specially asked me to remind you to speak with her about tomorrow's dinner and if we should bring something over beforehand.

That seemed to puzzle her. I quite sure that Lady Bertram and I went over the dinner menu most thoroughly, Mr. Norris! I cannot think of what you mean... she then started to worry about a dish that Sir Thomas particularly enjoyed and then decided to go back to the great house to check with Aunt Bertram. I was told to stay behind and help Uncle Norris with the rest of the flowers.

Don't fret, my dear, Fanny and I will manage it well enough. Uncle Norris smiled at me, which was most reassuring. We did not spend a good deal of time in each other's company, other than my attendance at his sermons on Sunday. When ever he and Aunt Norris came to dinner at Mansfield, Sir Thomas and Edmund would talk with him as I attended our aunts in their needlework and tea.

Upon placing a pair of flower vases on the side of the altar, Uncle Norris turned to me and said Fanny, may I ask a favor of you? I replied yes, thinking that he wanted me to fetch more flowers or take a message to Aunt Norris.

Instead, he reached into his coat pocket and brought forth a small object wrapped in cloth. Clearing his throat, he then said As you know, Mrs. Norris is a very tidy housekeeper and especially prone to tossing away what might be mistaken for clutter during the spring season. Cleanliness is a fine trait, to be sure, as well as most Christian but every now and then I do have a few items that I would prefer to keep rather than lose due to her knack for thoroughness in these matters.

I kept still and nodded, not sure of what I was about to be asked. He continued, This item in particular I wish to pass on to Edmund someday, after he takes his orders. You will recall that our cousin Edmund is destined to follow the tradition of younger sons and enter the church, which my Uncle Norris was most proud to instruct him in.

Holding out the wrapped item, he asked if I would put it away for him amongst my belongings until such time as it was ready to be given to Edmund. I was truly honored by this request and happy to oblige. Uncle Norris allowed me to unwrap the item, which I can only describe as a strange sort of spindle, like the one Mama used to have before it was broken by one of the boys or the maid we had at the time.

It was long and made of wood, with a sweet scent. My uncle told me that an old friend of his had carved it from an apricot tree similar to the one that Sir Thomas had given him for his own garden long ago.

Odd yet lovely designs were cut into the upper part of this spindle surrounding a cross with a circle within it. Uncle Norris told me that it was an Irish design. I did not know that you knew any Irish men, Uncle! I surprised myself by saying. He smiled at me again. Yes, he was a good friend ,Mr. Lefroy and rather capable for a Catholic, that is.

Is it an Irish prayer stick? I don't know why I asked that and regretted my boldness instantly, yet Uncle Norris just laughed and said Not exactly, my dear Fanny but it did send a few of the deserving to their eternal reward. I was most confused by this remark yet did not dare to inquire further.

He then asked me to keep this between ourselves, since Aunt Norris was not familiar with his Irish friend and might not understand the significance of the item for Edmund. Some day I will ask you for it, Fanny, or have you give to Edmund directly but for now, I entrust this to your keeping. You don't mind, do you? I did not, in the least and assured him so.

I put it away with some of my small trinkets in the East room near the attic ,where I and Maria and Julia took our lessons and that I still spend some better part of the day in. For awhile, I had forgotten all about it, until Uncle Norris' recent departure.

He had not mentioned it again to me during the rest of his days yet as it turned out, he remembered the matter quite well as I later discovered.

I was helping Aunt Norris bring a few parcels over to Mansfield before the funeral, to be stored in their attics due to her new house being much smaller than the parsonage. As I picked one up from the study, a pile of papers fell from the desk and while putting them back in place, there was a sealed envelope addressed to me!

You can imagine my shock, William, at such a find. I took a moment to break the seal and found a small key underneath with this message:

My Dear Niece Fanny,

Long ago, I asked you to take care of a certain Irish piece for me. I am sure that you still have it and if you are reading this letter, clearly I am not able to give it to Edmund before his ordination, so I entrust you to do so in my stead.

Use this key to open the bottom left drawer of my desk and add what is in there to that hiding place. There should be amongst the contents of the drawer a set of books that Edmund will need but those must only be given to him after he takes orders, that is most important! I thank you, my good niece, for your assistance in this matter and bless you for your discretion.

Your loving uncle,

John Norris

I was not able to attend my late uncle's wishes at that time, due to Aunt Norris calling for me to hurry with my bundle. I shall attempt to do so before her move and hopefully get a hold of what he intended for Edmund to have....

I have more to relate, now that my mission is complete. Aunt Norris was occupied with her sister Bertram this morning, so I was able to open that drawer and retrieve the books and things for Edmund without anyone noticing.

Part of me feels rather disturbed at such a deception but since it was the wish of my uncle to keep this action a private matter and a respectable clergy man such as himself would not ask anyone, particularly a family member, to willfully do wrong, I am quite assured that I have done right.

The books for Edmund do not appear to be in English, but he is well versed in Latin and Greek, so this shouldn't be a problem for him. One of them does have a title that I can understand but must be a foreign book, as Lore of the Nosfertu does not sound like a proper English subject at all.

What ever it is, Edmund will know and I hope that he will be pleased that Uncle Norris thought so highly of his prospects in the church to ensure these items would reach him despite their unexpected parting of the ways.

I hope that you will agree with me that I have done my duty to Uncle Norris in this situation. I am not sure when and how to give these treasures to Edmund, since his ordination will not be for quite some time.

I am also not sure how long a few of them will

Reviews for Fanny Price

[lorelai2_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

The classic Jane Austen novel gets a chilling twist as a series of secret letters reveal a menace to Mansfield Park more frightening than a visit from Aunt Norris. Discovered by modern day descendants, this tale of terror that Fanny Price, who never dared to send to her seafaring brother William, chronicles her struggles to defeat the double trouble danger brought on by Mary and Henry Crawford.This sinister set of siblings with sharp wits and even sharper fangs manage to cast a spell of amiability that hides their deadly desire for Bertram blood. Armed with surety of purpose and a specially sharpened keepsake,can Fanny put aside her creepmouse manners in order to protect the only true home she knows and love,as well as her beloved Edmund? Or does she have enough difficulty keeping Lady Bertram awake during tea time?From the author of The Austen Avenger comes Fanny Price,Slayer of Vampires,a fang in cheek celebration of Jane Austen's most underrated heroine on her 200th anniversary. She may speak softly but Fanny does carry quite the sharp stick for staking!