When a guy is at his best, there is little that can hold him back. When he's not, there is little that can get him to move.



A man who has some needs met can handle ridicule, setbacks, failures, and major obstacles without taking his eyes off his goals and responsibilities.



I've had periods of time when I felt ready to take on the world. I've also experienced periods of time when I felt nothing. When I felt flat and blah.



Without experiencing the lows, I don't think I'd appreciate the highs as much. I might not have realized what I really needed without finding myself in a state of need.



I'm not going to speak on behalf of every man, anymore than my wife could write on behalf of every woman.



However, I do think that there is enough commonality between what drives me, and what drives many other men, for this article to have meaning.



When the needs below are met, I'll go through hell without losing determination.



When they're not being met, I feel as though I could collapse in to a ball of worthlessness.



If you want to motivate your man, consider how you could do more to meet these needs with him. You may find, he'll even get better at meeting your needs.





A Man Needs a Purpose



Synonyms: Ambition • Principle • Goal • Determination



"What can I do today that will have a long-lasting impact?" This is one of the first thoughts that come to mind each morning when I wake.



I believe God has placed in every man's heart a need to pursue something of long-lasting value.



Some days, the answer is in doing something for my wife.



Other days, it's in doing something that will have a further-reaching impact.



Right now, my hope is that this finished article will resonate with other men, and will open the eyes of their significant others.



Knowing another guy could reach his full potential from something in this article would make for a very good day.



A growing body of research shows retirement can be one of the most detrimental decisions to a man's health. Without work, many men lose a sense of purpose.



It's not just men at retirement that are at risk, though.



Today, more men stay home, or if they work, they might not be the main breadwinner.



For the first 11 years of our marriage, we lived off my income. Vanessa made some money, but for the most part, it was "fun" money for her.



When I resigned from Life Time, her Young Living business became our main source of income. The income was (and is today) far more than what I earned as a Senior Director.



Of course, we share the money. Technically, it is "our money."



But Vanessa no longer needs me to make money. Without her financial need, I cannot fulfill a purpose in earning the income to support our family.



I had to reflect on where else I could focus my skills, talents and passions to pursue a different purpose.



Vanessa and I are not unique. It is more common than ever for the wife's income to be the main income in the family.



Some men find purpose in raising their kids. Others find purpose in service organizations. Still others find meaning in hobbies or other interests.



Initially, I put a lot of effort into improving my part in our marriage. I poured into relationship books and sought counseling.



I also focused on how I could best support Vanessa. And found some interests of my own to pursue, such as consulting with some fitness companies and working on this blog.



In addition to actually pursuing a purpose, a man needs to know he's making progress. If he can't see that he's moving forward, he may lose interest.



If he's working on his marriage, tell him (regularly) what he's doing right, even if he's still making mistakes more than he's producing miracles.



If he's working on a business, show him how much he's grown since the day he started.



If he's pouring his efforts into his kids, describe the ways he's positively impacting them, even when they're too young to notice a difference.