Finger-pointing. Helplessness. Hissy-fits. Name-calling. And unicorns. We can’t forget the unicorns.



No, I’m not talking about toddlers, adolescents, or teenagers. I’m referring to the attitudes and behaviors of too many "adults" across America.



Is it just me, or does it seem almost impossible to have a constructive conversation about a controversial topic?



Condemnation, disrespect, and yelling have replaced conversation, discussion, and listening.



Unicorn's desires and demands precede unity and the greater good.



No two people live in an identical world, so each person has a slightly different perspective on the perfect world. If everyone is hellbent in making others see and believe what they do, "uncivil wars" are inevitable.



These skirmishes have the potential to wear away at the unity that once defined the "United" States.



Perhaps I'm overreacting, but I don't think I am. The following are some of the thoughts I've rumbled around in my head these past few years. I hope they cause us all to rethink what we write and what we say.



Read also: 5 Beliefs that Build Suckituptitude.





What Happened to Civility?



To be civil is to be polite and courteous.



Quite the opposite of the verbal battles and character assassinations going on online, on TV, and even in person.



Politeness and courtesy require you to put the feelings of others ahead of your own. Not easy to do if you believe your needs are more important than others. It's even harder when nobody feels heard and everyone feels misunderstood.



How will we learn and grow if we refuse to listen and understand?



Why have people become so bitter toward one another? What is it that's created such divides between fellow citizens and human beings?



Why do people judge others' entire character, simply because they disagree about one or two things?



Before you absolve yourself from such behaviors...



Do you think of someone differently if they voted for Trump versus Clinton?



What about if they are pro or anti-vaccine? Pro-life or pro-choice?



Or, what if they’re atheist, Christian, or Muslim, or Buddhist, or another religion?



People are so quick to judge others. However, the richest conversations, and the greatest learning, comes through meaningful conversations with those you don’t agree with.



Well, to clarify...you learn from those conversations if your goal is to understand the other person, rather than prove to him or her that you are right and they are wrong.



When you make the effort to understand someone else, two crazy things happen. First, you realize that you're more alike than different. Second, you sometimes realize that your beliefs are wrong!



So, why do so many of us forego considerate conversation, and instead engage in "uncivil war?"



Read also: 5 Fears You Need to Overcome as a Leader, Parent, or Business Owner.



Lack of Curiosity



Let me start with an example...



I don't believe in taking or recommending the flu shot.



If you disagree with me, what was the first thing that popped into your mind after reading that sentence?



Did you feel compelled to correct me? Did you mutter "what an idiot" under your breath?



Do you want to call me irresponsible?



And just to be fair, if I'd have said I believe in getting flu shots, would those of you who are against them have had similar responses as above?



That's how most people respond to opposing views today.



Or...instead of wanting to criticize and condemn me, did you feel curious? Did you instead want to ask why I believe you don't need a flu shot?



If you wondered why I believe what I believe, congratulations! You got curious!



Most people react to opposing views one of two ways.




They push their opinions down others' throats, even when the other person didn't ask for it.



They silence the other person by unfriending, avoiding, or ostracizing him or her.




Millennials have the hardest time with this,