A relationship with a toxic person is kind of like drinking anti-freeze.



If you don’t know what you’re drinking, you might mistake it as healthy and sweet. But if you understand what you're drinking, you’ll realize it's poisonous.



You might believe you have a good, healthy relationship. But it’s because you’re too close to the other person to see that the relationship is toxic.



Once you step back and see how your relationship really works, you'll discover the damage it does.





The Problem With Tolerating Toxic People



Toxic people are all around, but they’re more the exception than the rule. So, as you read this article, avoid the temptation to label every person who rubs you the wrong way.



Some of the healthiest relationships are with those who challenge you, question your beliefs, and disagree with your decisions. Often, those people help you grow.



And if you feel like problematic people surround you, you might be the problem. You might be one of the people described below. Take it to heart and change your ways.



If you realize you're in a toxic relationship, remember the adage, "the dose makes the poison."



One teaspoon of anti-freeze won't kill you. One-third of a cup will.



Too much time with poisonous people can kill you as well. Maybe not physically, but they can kill your confidence, ambition, and joy. Over time, your relationship with them can kill the potential you once had for your life.



Sometimes, merely limiting your time with poisonous people is enough. For others, you might need to cut the connection altogether.



Toxic people cause you harm because they:




Influence the way you think about and see the world.



Drain your emotional energy, leaving little for others who need your time and attention.




Jim Roan is credited with the following quote, although someone probably realized this long before he said it:



You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.



Like it or not, you will become more like the people you surround yourself with than they will become like you.



Your emotional energy tank gets tapped when you spend time with them as well. You'll be mentally worn down, and won't have energy, creativity, passion or ambition to accomplish all you're capable of.



So, carefully consider how you spend your time with those who fit the descriptions below. They'll often take much from you, and give little in return.



The Bully



Bullies suck.



Merriam-Webster defines a bully as a blustering, browbeating person; especially one who is habitually cruel, insulting, or threatening to others who are weaker, smaller, or in some way vulnerable.



Childhood bullies torture others physically and mentally. They beat up weak kids, make fun of fat (like I was) and slow kids, and embarrass others whenever the opportunity arises.



Physical bullying isn't as common in adults, except for physically abusive spouses (which is despicable, in my opinion), drunk knuckleheads at bars, or certain Philadelphia Eagles fans.



Mental, verbal, or emotional abuse is often worse than physical abuse because only the abused individual can see and feel the damage.



Bullies attack your weaknesses and vulnerabilities to feel better about themselves. They also use your past mistakes or secrets to embarrass you or bring you down in front of other people.




Some people try to be tall by cutting off the heads of others.
Paramahansa Yogananda



In essence, bullies feel inferior.



They bully people they feel inferior to, as an attempt to knock them down to their level, or they bully someone else to get other people's attention.



Often, bullies are friends with, or family members of, the people they bully.



What better way is there to know your vulnerabilities and weaknesses than to know you on a personal level? If they trick you into trusting them, you'll be more likely to share your secrets.



Part of you feels a friendship or bond to the bully.