A year goes by so fast, and yet so much can happen in that short time. It seems like just weeks ago that I wrote In My Next 40 Years..., yet it was exactly a year ago.



This past week, I thought a lot about the past 12 months...what I observed, learned, accomplished, and experienced.



Many ideas came to mind as I considered this first article as a 41-year-old...stuff on nutrition, exercise, business, personal development. However, one thing stood out the most this past year: The roles and responsibilities of men, fathers, and yes, even grandfathers.





Surprise! You're a 40-Year Old Grandfather



My 40th birthday was Saturday, January 14, 2017. It wasn't especially eventful, mainly because I'd always shrugged off my birthday. I didn't like the attention of a birthday party. But my 40th was different. I wanted to celebrate it with others. The only problem was, I didn't tell Vanessa any of this. I just expected her, somehow, to read my mind.



It wasn't until the day of my birthday, when I was a little sad and irritated, that I shared why I was disappointed (that could be a separate blog post of its own, on husbands being better at communicating with their wives).



She didn't get defensive like I would have in her position. Instead, she quietly organized a surprise party for the next day.



She pulled it off. We took the dog to our 6th-floor dog park, and there in the community room were most of our local family members and my parents.



Surprise!



Our son Jacob didn't show up. That wasn't out of the ordinary, so we didn't give it much thought. About a half-hour into the party, we got a text from him with a photo of an adorable, blond-haired, two year-old boy.



The day before, he found out he was Asher's father. At that moment, we found out we were Asher's grandparents.



Surprise!



A lot of stuff happened between that moment, and today. Some of it's been emotionally and financially taxing. But for the most part, we've been blessed with joy with this little boy.



We traded in our two-door BMW 428 for an X5 SUV with a car seat.



Toys fill our den.



Vanessa's Thursday/Friday Instagram Stories often bring us to tears as we watch them after dropping off Asher on Friday nights.



Life throws curveballs, but if you shift your stance and swing, you can still hit a home run.



This was the highlight of the past year, and it's left me thinking about what it means to be a man, father, and now, a grandfather.



Here's the deal: the world is changing in significant ways. From how people treat one another, to the roles men, women, mothers, and fathers play. We need more "adult" men to step up and mentor young men. To be examples for them.



I'm not writing this because I have it all figured out. Far from it. I'm still learning too.



One final note before I begin...for the women who are raising kids on their own because the dad jumped ship...I commend you for your efforts. You have a tough job, playing the role of both parents. You might not get much appreciation for what you do right now. One day, you will. When your kids have kids of their own, they'll understand the sacrifice you made. Keep leading them, loving them, and guiding them.



Read also: Man Up by Scott Schuler: What I Learned, Why You Need to Read It



(Grand)Fathers...Provide



A father's #1 responsibility is to provide financial, emotional, mental, and spiritual stability for his family.



Unless another family adopted your child, it's on you to get and keep a job that meets the current and future needs of your child. That might mean providing a home of your own, insurance, daycare, food, clothes, and more.



It doesn't matter whether you're in a relationship with the mother or not. Your child is your responsibility.



Your hobbies and interests take a back seat to providing an income, as well as emotional stability for him or her.



I'm concerned that too many men are entering adulthood, totally unprepared for raising a family.