Self-regulation is a crucial developmental milestone and I’m thrilled that we are turning our eyes toward self-regulation instead of staying focused on behavior modification through rewards and consequences.  At the same time, we must remember that self-regulation is developed through repeated and regular experiences of co-regulation with an attuned, regulated, present caregiver.  If children are struggling to use their self-regulation skills, it’s quite possible that they aren’t regulated enough to access those skills.  They are getting dysregulated too quickly and need co-regulation before they can be expected to use skills on their own.  It is these experiences of coregulation that build the neural circuity for what is ultimately labeled self-regulation...so you don’t need to worry that the continued offering of co-regulation will impede the development of self-regulation- it’s exactly the opposite!!!Humans never outgrow their need for co-regulation!  We all need connection and co-regulation!  Which is exactly why I've created The Club- a new virtual community for parents of kids impacted by trauma!CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members**************If you are new to the science of connection and regulation, you'll want to grab my free masterclass on Regulation, Connection, and Felt-Safety at www.RobynGobbel.com/masterclass  *****Not sure where to start?  With 100 episodes, it's hard to know what episodes to listen to first!The START HERE private podcast takes the guess-work out.  I curated the 10 episodes I think you should listen to first. Because it's a special private podcast, It's only available by invitation- so head over to RobynGobbel.com/StartHere to get yours.  You'll then be able to listen in whatever podcast player you use! *******The Club is a virtual community for the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors and the professionals who support them.    https://robyngobbel.com/theclubApplications for the 2023 cohort of Being With ~ a year-long immersive and holistic program for parenting professionals ~ are now open!  https://robyngobbel.com/beingwith