Biblical Healing From Covert Narcissistic Abuse

By Terra Hurst

Biblical Healing from Covert Narcissistic Abuse is a comprehensive guidebook for Christians struggling with the trauma of abuse.

Christians are called by Christ to be humble, to be forgiving, to be kind, and generous, and these fundamental tenets of Ch

• Language: English
• Publisher: Excel Book Writing
• Release date: Jan 4, 2024
• ISBN: 9798869104069

Book preview

Biblical Healing From Covert Narcissistic Abuse

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Biblical Healing From Covert Narcissistic Abuse

Look to God to Get Your Voice Back

Terra Hurst

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Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.®

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Introduction

What Am I Dealing With Here?

Chapter 1

Why, Dear Lord, Why?

Chapter 2

The Narcissistic Face of the Enemy

Uncovering the Covert Narc in Your Life

The Narc-O-Meter Test

Chapter 3

Origins of Narcissism

Narcissus and Echo

Narcissism is Satan’s Calling Card

Our Inheritance From Adam and Eve

Religious Supply

Chapter 4

Stop the Spin Cycle the Christian Way

Abuser or Victim?

What is the Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse?

Putting You Through the Wringer

Chapter 5

Dealing With the Narc Bag of Tricks (Part One)

Love Bombing

How to Protect Yourself From Love Bombing

Chapter 6

Dealing With the Narc’s Bag of Tricks (Part Two)

Gaslighting

How to Cope With Gaslighting

Strategies to Combat Gaslighting

Chapter 7

Healing Beyond the Trauma Bond

Signs of Trauma Bonding

How to Break the Trauma Bond

Picking Up the Pieces

Conclusion

References

Introduction

As Christians, our instinct is, of course, to be tolerant, forgiving, long-suffering, and, above all, understanding. We turn the other cheek, always asking, What would Jesus do? And, for the most part, our relationships with others, Christians or not, are fulfilling, loving, and fruitful. We can adapt to numerous personality types because of our Christian nature. One of the definitions of the word Christian according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary (n.d.) is, treating other people in a kind and generous way.

When kindness and generosity are the defining qualities of who we are, we tend to attract all kinds of people to us. Most of them are good, kind, and generous, just like we are. However, I am sure you will agree with me from your own painful experiences, that some seek to feed off of these very same Christian qualities until we feel completely sapped of all that is good in our hearts. Often, God sends people to us so that we may help them heal or deal with their personal demons. A good Christian can often be a beacon of light to those who are stumbling in the darkness of their minds. Admittedly, most Christians possess an empathic nature that attracts broken spirits without us even realizing it.

Unfortunately for us, some of the people we attract are narcissists. And of all the types of narcissists we can attract, the covert narcissist is, arguably, the most dangerous. We don’t realize what we are dealing with until we are so deeply embroiled in our relationship, that extricating ourselves from their company is a nearly impossible feat. We may reach a point where we are unable to deal with this type of personality and may need to reach out for help. Take heart, dear soul. In this book, we will explore exactly what makes a covert narcissist tick and how to deal with them as Christians.

What Am I Dealing With Here?

How do you know that you are dealing with a narcissist or are in a toxic relationship? Here are a few things to observe about your relationship with this person. Do you find that you are constantly tiptoeing around them in the hopes that they won’t explode into another tirade? Being on edge seems to be your default setting when it comes to them. You can’t relax and be easy-going when they are around.

Do they respect your boundaries, or do they make it seem like they feel unloved because you are not letting them in as much as they want you to? Do they guilt you into giving in to them by making it seem like you are the monster? At the same time, do they make you feel like they have so much need for you while you just seem to want to shun them? Do they accuse you of being selfish with your time, money, or resources when you try to set healthy boundaries?

Another key red flag is how you feel about yourself when you are around them. Do they make you feel good about yourself, or do they tear you down every chance they get? Are they overly critical of everything about you? Do they leave you feeling worse about yourself instead of loved and valued? If they make you feel like you should be grateful that they came along to be with you because you are completely unworthy of love, you know you’re dealing with a toxic person. If they didn’t care so much about you, you would be alone, because you are unlovable, right? The moment you object to being treated like that, they turn it around on you, accusing you of being too proud to take a joke or healthy criticism. They might even use your faith to bring you down and make you feel like you are not a good Christian by mocking your actions. Or they might make it seem like you are the one with issues and they are trying to tolerate you and help you deal with those issues. This might lead you to question your sanity, faith, and character as a Christian. You should understand that they are merely projecting. Most narcissists, also known as narcs, have issues of deep-seated self-loathing and instead of working on themselves, they would much rather project their feelings onto you.

Using guilt trips and manipulation is one of the most overused power-plays in the narc's repertoire. It seems like what you do is never good enough for them. However, you are so bent on being a good Christian who is always trying to improve as a person, you don’t see that you are being manipulated. When you decline to do, say, or give them something, they fly into a rage, turning the tables on you to make it seem like you are the bad guy and have hurt their feelings by your selfish behavior, even though they are the ones provoking you. Then, when you call them out on it, they make it seem like you are the toxic one and you end up thinking that you are a monster for hurting