My Broken Smiles: Beautifully Broken

By Melanie Smiles

After becoming a teenage mother of two children while in high school, suffering spiritual depression, and surviving an emotionally abusive, narcissistic husband, Melanie Smiles was broken. But with an unyielding faith, she found transformation and emotional healing through the word of God, constant prayer, loving family, and devoted mentors. 

Follow Melanie's journey of internal struggles and unfortunate life events that eventually led to her brokenness—including a tumultuous marriage to an abusive narcissist. Learn how to recognize common signs of narcissistic personality disorder and the traits of broken individuals. Come to realize how the enemy uses people and their brokenness to hurt others and gain access to their lives.

Through her story of brokenness, Melanie offers hope, knowledge, and encouragement to others facing the same or similar circumstances, inspiring them to seek and know the same God who saved her. Beauty does not exist in brokenness itself, but in how we allow it to restore and transform us into better versions of ourselves, so we may become Beautifully Broken.
 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mindful MIssions
• Release date: Aug 17, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393781196

Melanie Smiles

Melanie Smiles is a God-fearing woman with a gift to serve. She is an author and registered nurse, specializing in emergency and trauma nursing. She’s also a licensed cosmetologist, travel club member, and the owner of Mindful Missions Health and Wellness. With an unwavering desire to be a woman of influence by helping others heal their brokenness, she is dedicated to helping people live more peaceful, fulfilled lives by sharing the good works of Jesus Christ. email: [e-mail] Instagram: mel_rnsmiles Facebook: Melanie Smiiles  

Book preview

MY BROKEN SMILES: BEAUTIFULLY BROKEN

© July 2020 Melanie Smiles

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems without permission in written form from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

Paperback ISBN: 978-0-578-71735-7

Mindful Missions

Oak Park, MI

Printed in the United States of America

First Edition August 2020

Design: Make Your Mark Publishing Solutions

Editing: Make Your Mark Publishing Solutions

contents

Foreword

Introduction

Chapter 1 Spiritual Brokenness

Chapter 2 Something About Me

Chapter 3 A Beautiful Smile

Chapter 4 Dating a Smile

Chapter 5 He Proposed with a Diamond Ring

Chapter 6 Engagement and Wedding Planning

Chapter 7 Bridal Shower & Resurrection Day

Chapter 8 The Revelation

Chapter 9 The Wedding

Chapter 10 The Marriage

Chapter 11 My Broken Smiles

Chapter 12 Transformation/Beautifully Broken

The author’s closing words

Acknowledgements

Notes from loved ones

foreword

First, I would like to say that I am truly honored to be considered to write a foreword for Melanie Smiles. Melanie and I attended the same high school, Oak Park High School in Oak Park, MI. At that time, I did not know Melanie because I was two grades higher than her, but I am so excited that I know her now. Mel, as I call her, is a very genuine, loving, and honest person. I have been able to grow closer to her as her faith coach. Mel has blossomed beautifully, and she is not afraid of her past or anyone trying to stop her future. I admire her for breaking barriers and telling her story without apology, so she can help others. As I read her story, tears rolled down my face, knowing how hard it must be for her to tell her truth. I urge everyone who has been rejected or felt insecure to read this amazing book. I am genuinely excited about her future. Melanie is very transparent in her story of triumph so other women can grow, and for that, I salute her.

Minister Laticia Nicole Beatty

introduction

T his book is about my personal experience with brokenness and transformation to emotional healing through the word of God, family, mentors, faith, and prayer when I surrendered it all to the Lord. I will share with you real events; life-changing circumstances; my experience with pain, brokenness, abuse, marriage, divorce, and unforgiveness; and how I made it through and became the person I am today.

This book will take you on a journey through the many events that happened in my life, mainly in my marriage, that contributed to my brokenness and how I learned why God allows us to be broken. Throughout the chapters, you will see how the enemy uses people and their brokenness to break other people and gain access into people’s lives. I will share how to recognize and identify some of the causes, traits, consequences, and bad fruit of broken individuals.

By sharing my story of God’s wonderful works in my life, I hope to encourage and educate others facing the same or similar issues and inspire them to seek and know the same God that saved and changed me.

No one escapes life without seasons of hurt, suffering, darkness, trials, storms, affliction, or brokenness. In those seasons, it doesn’t mean God doesn’t love you or has forgotten about you. We view hurt, trauma, suffering, and brokenness as thieves because they rob you of your joy, peace, energy, ability to love, self-worth, and trust. But God meets us right there in our pain, lifting us up, protecting us, and guiding us toward something new as long as we allow him. We can become better when we can identify our brokenness and the source of it, embrace it, and seek help.

I’m here to let you know you are an overcomer, and you can overcome brokenness and all power of the enemy. My prayer is that the words of this book will encourage, inspire, or aid you in healing. You can let go and remove yourself from a place of brokenness and not carry it around from relationship to relationship, from season to season. You can move from unforgiveness to forgiveness by following God’s plan for your life. Beauty is not in brokenness itself, but in how we allow it to transform us into better versions of ourselves.

chapter one

Spiritual Brokenness

Before God saved me, I was spiritually broken, and my brokenness was a doorway for the adversary to present himself as an angel of light and a Godsend, masking his demons and brokenness. Broken is a separation or something not working properly—something that is interrupted, damaged, shattered, needs repairing, not whole, or wounded. Brokenness interrupts our lives and separates us from anything that keeps us from living our best life, leaving a person feeling unhappy, hopeless, incomplete, discouraged, depressed, or wounded.

Satan uses brokenness as a window of opportunity to enter our lives, causing negative thoughts and more pain. In our brokenness, people can attach their negative spirits to our lives in a way that can ultimately destroy us. Satan and his demons are spirits that search for humans to use. Satan is smart and charming. He knows God’s word and knows how to present things to us to gain access to us. Therefore, he won’t appear as a violent, evil-looking devil dressed in a red suit with horns and a pitchfork. He can take on many forms and can, very well, be disguised today as a beautiful angel of light. Satan is a powerful spiritual force, but he is not as powerful as God.

As long as we are here on earth, at some point we all will be approached by the enemy and his schemes. We will be tempted, afflicted, and tried by him. We are in constant war with the enemy and our minds. The enemy wants nothing more than to gain access to our hearts and minds. There is a lot of truth in the old saying, An idle mind is the devil’s playground. Our life is shaped by our minds. If Satan accesses our mind, he can influence our thoughts. Our thoughts shape our decisions, our decisions shape our actions, and our actions are what we do. The battle for sin always starts in the mind. King Solomon said it best, and this is why God’s word tells us,

A bove all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

(PROVERBS 4:23 NIV)

The Word also tells us,

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.

(PROVERBS 23:7 NKJV)

The enemy looks for ways to access us through our brokenness, insecurities, loneliness, childhood pain, failures, abuse, shame, losses, relationships, our past, environment, and vulnerabilities, including but not limited to drugs and alcohol. This is why drugs and alcohol are so powerful and have such a strong hold on people, especially our children.

Drugs and alcohol cause us to lose the ability to think and act rationally, leaving us unguarded and vulnerable. Drugs and alcohol give the enemy easy access to us, which leads to addiction, loss of control, strongholds, unhealthy behavior patterns, brokenness, soul-ties and sex-ties, spiritual depression, negative spirits, and mental and physical illness.

My spiritual depression was the root cause of a lot of my struggles, low points, bad choices, feelings of incompleteness, and unfulfilled needs. A need or unfulfilled need can become dangerous because it creates a place of vulnerability within us. I am a giver and very empathetic; I enjoy helping and serving others. Being spiritually depressed and an empath, I attracted some negative and narcissistic spirits into my life.

Empaths are givers and highly sensitive individuals who tend to put other people’s needs, feelings, and desires ahead of their own. They absorb other people’s emotions and feelings as their own, sometimes taking on the pain of others at their own expense.

Narcissists are attracted to empaths; they become the perfect predator and feed off of them. A narcissist is someone with a personality disorder that is self-centered, lacks empathy, has a sense of entitlement, and has a deep need for attention and admiration. Narcissists are takers and put their needs ahead of everyone else’s. They take and drain until there is nothing left to take. This is why their victims are left feeling drained and depleted.

Narcissism, or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), is a mental illness. Narcissists are broken individuals who experience a deeper connection of something happening spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically. We hear a lot of people being called narcissists these days; narcissism appears to be more prevalent in our society. It does have a broad meaning, and there are different levels of narcissism, which can be confusing because it mimics other traits and can be hard to identify or understand.

According to research, other victims of NPD, and my personal experience, sociopaths and malignant people with NPD demonstrate some strong traits and characteristics. Some of the more consistent traits are that they lack empathy and respect for other people and their feelings. Narcissists are pathological liars, masters of disguise, and manipulators. They create trauma bonds and relationship entanglements. Initially, they are the most charming, affectionate, humorous, godly, and nicest people we might ever meet. Then they show their true selves as mean and heartless.

Dr. Patrick Carnes, founder of the International Institute for Trauma & Addiction Professionals and author of The Betrayal Bond, developed the term trauma bonding. By his definition, trauma