The God Clinic: How to Lose Weight, Get Rich and Feel Good, All in One Easy Visit.

By Steve Ostrow

Welcome to the God Clinic. And what is that? Well, in the course of this life, we all need to consult a specialist of one sort or another for what ails us. And while I am not denigrating these learned practitioners, I invite you to stroll through the next several hundred pages with me and visit God the Dietician, God the Accountant and God the Psychiatrist.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Mar 5, 2010
• ISBN: 9781450004077

Steve Ostrow

Steve Ostrow is an expatriate American now living in Sydney, Australia. Steve spent most of his life in New York City both as an opera singer and as an entrepreneur, having built and operated the world-famous Continental Baths, where Bette Midler, Barry Manilow, Patti La Belle, Peter Allan and countless others got their start. Steve has sung with major opera companies the world over, including the New York City Opera, the San Francisco Opera, the Stuttgart Opera and the Australian Opera. During his stay in Stuttgart in the 1980’s, Steve also was contracted by Bob Hope and the USO to put on shows for NATO troops and their families stationed in Germany. Now retired from the stage, Steve is the director of the Sydney Academy of Vocal Arts and is a vocal coach to many of Australia’s best young performers. In addition Steve is the founder of the MAG project and an Education Officer for the AIDS Council of New South Wales as well as being an entertainment venue consultant. Together with the If God series, Steve’s autobiography Saturday Night at the Baths Books 1 and 2 is now being prepared for publication. He has also just completed The Ring, a novel of intrigue, espionage and opera centering around the 2020 Olympics. He is currently writing Musings On A Life: Mine In Particular, a compendium of thoughts and observations garnered over a life spanning almost 7 decades.

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Copyright © 2010 by Steve Ostrow.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 06/28/2022

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Contents

If God Were Your Dietician,

You Would Never Be Fat

In The Beginning

Suppose

Fat Facts

Man—ick!

A Message For The MSG-Affected

Practicalities

Additives

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Best Buy

Readers - Digest

What Ails You?

Alphabetical Disorders

Simple Sermon

Try This On For Size

Skin Deep

Bread And Butter

What’s Up, Doc?

Soul Food

OK, I’m A Fruitcake

Dining Grace-fully

Designer Shopping

Don’t Believe Everything You Eat

When Is A Calorie Not A Calorie?

Special Dispensations

Must I Celibate My Festive Occasions?

How Do You Know When To Stop Following God’s Diet?

The Thin Red Line

To Supplement Or Not To Supplement

Gluttony

Winenot?

The Joy Of Eating

Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread

In The Beginning . . . Again

What Have You Got To Lose?

The 10 Commandments

If God Were Your Accountant,

You Would Never Feel Poor

The Sermon On The Amount

Brother, Can You Spare A Dime?

Insecurity

Gold

Education

You Gotta Have Friends

Freedom

Health

Talent

Creativity

Love

Experience

Honour

Charity

Music

Family

Faith

The Great Omnipotence Hoax

Prepare For The Best

Naturally

Zeal

Beauty

Is Science The Antithesis Of All Things Godly?

Fun

Integrity

The Sixth Sense

Purpose

Morals

Inspiration

This Is Your Life

The Summing-Up

If God Were Your Psychiatrist,

You Would Never Feel Bad

Why?

Charting Our Course

In The Beginning . . .

Loneliness

The Fear Of God

Anxiety

Depression

Despair

Jealousy

Bad Luck

Guilt

Methinks

The Good Life

The Word

Peace In Your Time

And Thou Shalt . . .

Frustration

Intolerance

Sadness And Grief

Murder Call

Perfectionism

Failure

Worry

Write Your Own Script

End Of The Road

Prescription

The Second Coming

Epilogue

Addendum

Introduction

In The Beginning

The Early Days Of God

The Creation

Enter The Dragon

The Pot Thickens

The Beginnings Of We

Who Am I?

Take These 2 Tablets And Call Me In The Morning

A Rose By Any Other Name . . .

Drop The ‘D’ From ‘Devil’ And Whaddya Got?

Man To Man

Frankenstein?

What’s Nuke?

The Little League

If Ya Can’t Beat ’em, Join ’em

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

A Space Odyssey

Born Free

The Eternal Question

The Summing-up

Conclusion

Hi. Welcome to the God Clinic. And what is that? Well, in the course of this life, we all need to consult a specialist of one sort or another for what ails us. And while I am not denigrating these learned practitioners, I invite you to stroll through the next several hundred pages with me and visit God the Dietician, God the Accountant and God the Psychiatrist.

Check in with the Supreme Commander, He who created everything good in this world—as opposed to evil, a man thing—and see if you don’t come away with a whole new feeling of ‘wellness.’

It doesn’t matter whom you recognize as your God as long as you believe, as do 98% of the world, that there is one. For to deny that there is such a Higher Power, is like a school of fish questioning the existence of the sea. So now, just go one step further and let me show you how great you could feel if God were your Dietician, your Accountant and your Psychiatrist. Take the journey with me as I discover this path for myself. And for those who want to know more about my concept of God, turn to the addendum at the back of the book and check out God, an Unauthorized Biography. It’s a bit whimsical, but with your tummy feeling good, your treasure house full and your mind in order, maybe it will leave you with a smile on your face, and there’s no extra charge for that.

OK, our first appointment is with God the Dietician. Why? Because our higher nature rests on our lower nature. So grab your knife and fork and let’s take a seat at God’s table.

If God Were Your Dietician,

You Would Never Be Fat

Steve Ostrow

©1999

You shall eat and be satisfied and bless the Lord your God.

(Deuteronomy 8:10)

In The Beginning

In over 65 years of living, I have, at one time or another, been termed fat or skinny.

As a child growing up in a Jewish household where, tradition has it, you equate food with love, I was always a rotund, cherubic sort of youngster until I reached the age of awareness. It was then, in my early teens, that I started to feel unhappy with my appearance, and it kind of turned me inward.

By 16, through no fault of mine nor my mom’s, the enzymes of adolescence crashed through my body and, in a year, I was not only 6 feet tall but slim and taut to boot. All went well until my marriage and its state of conjugal bliss turned both my wife and myself into mastodons, with me weighing in at 120 kg. And, in deference to my wife, I will leave out her details. Suffice it to say that she ran a close second.

‘You’re big boned,’ people would say, ‘and you carry your weight well. After all, you are 6 feet tall.’

Well, I didn’t have much choice but to carry my weight, but it for sure wasn’t making me well. It wasn’t long till I came down with a gastro-intestinal illness which, when treated incorrectly with antibiotics, put me into hospital, from which I emerged 3 months later and 45 kg lighter.

Over the ensuing years, weight has gone on and off for me pretty much at will, although not mine. And, during those years, I experimented with one fad diet after the other: the Atkins, the Scarsdale, the Stillman, the grapefruit, the brown rice, all of which worked for about a month and then went into reversal.

My latest escapade was at age 65, when I found that my normal 70 kg had gone up to 80 kg and nothing seemed to halt its progress.

‘You’re too old; your metabolism is slower; it’s too late to lose it; it’s OK to be a little fat.’ All these rationalisations worked for a while. But then I was determined to find an answer.

I retried all the 70s blitz diets. They didn’t work. I went into high protein, no protein, high carbohydrate, low carbohydrate, all fat, no fat, vegetarian, macrobiotics and, finally, a total juice fast. Not a single kilo gave up in submission. Naturopathy, homeopathy, psychopathy—nothing helped.

I then had a vision.

Suppose

Suppose God was a dietician. What would be the diet He would be prescribing for all of His disciples? Well, for sure, it wouldn’t be McDonald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken or Burger King. I think what He would say is: ‘See what bounty I have blessed you with, and seek not to desecrate it.’

For if God’s work is perfection, how can we presume to improve on it? Everything is there for us in a natural state both to sustain and to enhance our lives. Every time we crush, juice, dilute, mangle, process, homogenise, pasteurise or otherwise alter the nature and structure of our food, we destroy the perfect balance of fibre, nutrients and liquid content that make all foods in their natural state no threat to our health or weight.

This vision of God’s plentiful cornucopia of food, all in their pristine and unadulterated form, powerfully governed my eating from then on. As I reviewed my current diet at the time, I could instantly see what the problem was, and what had to be cut out.

Fat Facts

My diet as such was, by all standards, basic and healthy, but I was still gaining weight. I would have a full glass of freshly squeezed carrot juice in the early afternoon and a double glass of freshly squeezed pineapple juice in the late afternoon. Now what could be better or more low-calorie than that?

Well, a glass of carrot juice is the result of grinding at least 7 to 10 carrots in a juicer and then discarding the roughage. Look, one whole carrot in and of itself is 31 calories and has a fibre content of 7g. Have you ever tried eating a whole carrot lately? It’s doubtful that you could be hungry after consuming the dietary fibre and roughage of 1 whole carrot. Conversely if it takes at least 7 carrots to make a glass of carrot juice, that would total 217 calories while, at the same time, contributing, zero grams of fibre. What you get is just the liquid and the sugar content and none of the bulk. So no wonder you can down the whole glass and still be hungry.

Let’s look next at a blender full of pineapple juice. Real healthy, yes? Well, it takes about ¾ of a whole pineapple to make a glass of juice. The sugar content alone—in the form of fructose—contributes 385 calories. Diet fibre, zero. The sweetness of the juice doesn’t satiate you; on the contrary, as all sweets do, they make you want even more. But try eating a quarter of a pineapple, fibre and all. I’ll bet you won’t eat another thing for the rest of the day. Total calories, 96. In fact, 1/8 slice of a whole pineapple would probably fill you right up. Total calories, 48.

Now let’s talk about cheese. The average Australian eats about 200g of cheese a week. Nearly half of the cheese consumed in Australia is processed, made by mixing cheddar with emulsifiers and then heating them until the thick end product is pumped into filling machines and then cut into blocks, slices or cheese sticks. Almost all processed cheeses are bland in flavour and have a uniform texture. The cheese is halted from any natural ripening by the heat treatment and is therefore no longer a living food, besides having double the salt content of natural cheeses.

But what about the so-called ‘natural’ cheeses? Well, there are over 200 varieties to choose from: roquefort, blue, brie, camembert, cheddar, gruyère—all mouth-watering and savoury. But did you know that most matured, tasty cheeses like aged cheddar, gruyère or parmesan contain high levels of a protein-related substance called tyramine, akin to monosodium glutamate, and is believed to be a cause of migraines in sensitive people?

Now let’s talk weightwise. Although cheese is a good source of protein, it also has an incredibly large percentage of fat per ounce. ‘Medium fat’ cheeses like edam, camembert, mozzarella and gouda contain at least 25% fat. Cheddar, parmesan and the blues go to 35% or more. And one ounce of these cheeses will supply at least 10g of fat and 510 kilojoules, or at least 120 calories. In comparison, a 10 oz glass of milk fresh out of the cow contains 150 calories and less than 5% fat. Ten ounces of cheese would total out at 100g of fat and 1200 calories. Worse yet, like full-cream, more than half the fat in cheese is saturated and, as cholesterol content parallels the fat content—well, you can figure out the rest.

Salt here, too, is a factor, and though not nearly as horrific as the processed cheeses, matured cheeses like parmesan, pecorino, Stilton, gorgonzola and fetta have an extremely high salt content which is essential to the ‘manufacture’ of cheese, determining the flavour and texture and controlling the ripening process, in addition to acting as a preservative.

Man—ick!

Note that word ‘man-ufacture’. God doesn’t ‘man-ufacture’; He provides. One small 30g wedge of cheddar the size of a golf ball has the same food value as a 300 ml carton of milk—except that the carton of milk increases your liquid content and is devoid of salt. A wedge of cheese calls for crackers or bread and lots to drink, all of which adds to your calories. But after consuming a carton of milk, it would be hard to feel hungry or thirsty. God provides milk; man ‘man-ufactures’ cheese. Take your pick. But if it’s the natural body that God provided you with that you want, then get your calcium from the cow or sheep, or goat, for that matter, and eliminate the middleman.

Now can you start to see what I’m getting at? I’m not a doctor or a nutritionist or a dietician. But I don’t have to be. God has done it all for us.

Look, just by following the simple rule of eating everything in its natural state—regardless if you boil it, steam it, bake it, roast it or grill it—you automatically eliminate all sauces, gravies, pastas, breads, cakes, candies and—weight. The best part is, you never have to worry about additives, colourings, flavourings, preservatives, enhancers, thickeners, emulsifiers . . . the list goes on and on. And you get healthier and healthier. No more unexplained headaches, rashes, insomnia, restlessness and all the other side effects of many of the processed foods we eat today. All these benefits while the kilos melt away.

Now you may find that I am a bit stern or unequivocating as you read on. But I really don’t think you bought this book just to be amused or patronised. You want to feel good and look good, and that’s what God’s diet is all about. There’s no such thing as sinning ‘a little bit’, so I won’t lead you down that path. If you’re anything like me you’ve been there already.

But won’t I be hungry? you might ask.

I can guarantee you that God never meant for you to be hungry. You can eat every grain in the form of raw muesli or cooked porridge. You can eat every fruit in its whole form. Of course, you can slice it and peel it if you like. You just can’t dry it, mash it, mangle it, process it or preserve it. You can eat every vegetable, the flesh of every animal, every bird and every fish, plus the milk of every domesticated animal. All non-poisonous seeds, nuts and herbs are all part of your natural intake. In short, you can eat from everything that grows in the earth or above the earth; flies in the sky; or swims in the sea. How could you ever be hungry?

God’s diet also precludes sugar as it is used in processed foods. In fact, unless you were to eat a sugar cane, there is no way, if you follow this diet, that your intake of sugar will be anything other than from the natural fructose or sucrose that comes from fruits and vegetables. Can you imagine how healthy you are going to be?

A Message For The MSG-Affected

Having myself been a sufferer of adverse reactions to the flavour enhancer monosodium glutamate,