Summary of Dr. Alan E. Fruzzetti & Dr. Marsha M. Linehan's The High-Conflict Couple

By IRB Media

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book.

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#1 The central idea in this book is that highly aroused, negative emotion is the core problem for high-conflict couples. There are specific skills partners can learn to manage their emotions effectively, which in turn makes effective communication possible.

#2 Emotions are complex processes that affect us and others. They are not things, but rather things we do that affect other things inside us and outside us. We don’t have a good word for the process or the whole system in which we have emotions.

#3 There are many components to our emotion system. Our attention, sensation and perception, and our awareness of what’s going on around us all influence our emotions. How we label our emotions and how we express them affects the course of those emotions.

#4 When we are dysregulated, we are not in control of our emotions. When we are out of control, we are not thinking or acting in a clear manner. We are no longer focused on our longer-term goals but are instead focused on the immediate goal of reducing this negative tension or arousal.

• Language: English
• Publisher: IRB Media
• Release date: Mar 22, 2022
• ISBN: 9781669365020

IRB Media

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Insights on Dr. Alan E. Fruzzetti & Dr. Marsha M. Linehan's The High-Conflict Couple

Contents

Insights from Chapter 1

Insights from Chapter 2

Insights from Chapter 3

Insights from Chapter 4

Insights from Chapter 5

Insights from Chapter 6

Insights from Chapter 7

Insights from Chapter 8

Insights from Chapter 9

Insights from Chapter 10

Insights from Chapter 11

Insights from Chapter 1

#1

The central idea in this book is that highly aroused, negative emotion is the core problem for high-conflict couples. There are specific skills partners can learn to manage their emotions effectively, which in turn makes effective communication possible.

#2

Emotions are complex processes that affect us and others. They are not things, but rather things we do that affect other things inside us and outside us. We don’t have a good word for the process or the whole system in which we have emotions.

#3

There are many components to our emotion system. Our attention, sensation and perception, and our awareness of what’s going on around us all influence our emotions. How we label our emotions and how we express them affects the course of those emotions.

#4

When we are dysregulated, we are not in control of our emotions. When we are out of control, we are not thinking or acting in a clear manner. We are no longer focused on our longer-term goals but are instead focused on the immediate goal of reducing this negative tension or arousal.

#5

There is a third or middle path between being resigned to being treated badly, on the one hand, and both people treating each other badly, on the other hand. To break the cycle, you must first understand how you get into these hair-trigger situations.

#6

People can be emotionally sensitive, and this can be unsettling in a conversation if not handled properly. People with high emotional sensitivity seem to understand intuitively how other people are feeling and coping.

#7

When we do notice something that is emotionally relevant, our reaction may be small or large. Big reactions are often louder, more rapidly and intensely expressed, and are accompanied by higher emotional arousal. Thus, big reactions can communicate more clearly what a person is feeling, but they can also result in the person reacting too quickly.

#8

Emotional equilibrium is the state in which we can think and act clearly and purposefully. When our arousal goes up, it takes a certain amount of time to come back down to baseline. For some people, this happens quickly, while others may take several hours.

#9

Negative emotional arousal can affect your