Summary of Harriet Lerner's The Dance Of Anger

By IRB Media

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book.

Book Preview: #1 Anger is a signal that something is wrong, and it is up to us to listen to it. We have long been discouraged from the awareness and expression of anger, and this has led to the Taboo of Anger against women.

#2 We all have a right to everything we feel, and our anger is no exception. But there are questions we can ask ourselves to help us understand our anger: What am I really angry about. What is the problem and whose problem is it.

#3 If our old ways of dealing with anger are not working for us, we may fall into one of two categories: the nice lady category, in which we attempt to avoid anger and conflict at all costs, or the bitch category, in which we get angry but participate in ineffective fighting, complaining, and blaming that leads to no constructive resolution.

#4 When we are nice, we often accumulate a storehouse of unconscious anger and rage. We may become more and more angry as we repress our anger and Guilt is a great way to block the awareness of anger.

• Language: English
• Publisher: IRB Media
• Release date: Feb 25, 2022
• ISBN: 9781669353270

IRB Media

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Book preview

Insights on Harriet Lerner's The Dance of Anger

Contents

Insights from Chapter 1

Insights from Chapter 2

Insights from Chapter 3

Insights from Chapter 4

Insights from Chapter 5

Insights from Chapter 6

Insights from Chapter 7

Insights from Chapter 8

Insights from Chapter 9

Insights from Chapter 1

#1

Anger is a signal that something is wrong, and it is up to us to listen to it. We have long been discouraged from the awareness and expression of anger, and this has led to the Taboo of Anger against women.

#2

We all have a right to everything we feel, and our anger is no exception. But there are questions we can ask ourselves to help us understand our anger: What am I really angry about. What is the problem and whose problem is it.

#3

If our old ways of dealing with anger are not working for us, we may fall into one of two categories: the nice lady category, in which we attempt to avoid anger and conflict at all costs, or the bitch category, in which we get angry but participate in ineffective fighting, complaining, and blaming that leads to no constructive resolution.

#4

When we are nice, we often accumulate a storehouse of unconscious anger and rage. We may become more and more angry as we repress our anger and Guilt is a great way to block the awareness of anger.

#5

We must be willing to stop feeling guilty and use our anger to define what is right and appropriate for our own lives. We must not see clearly, think precisely, or remember freely. We must be sleepwalkers, not seeing clearly, thinking precisely, or remembering freely.

#6

When we vent our anger ineffectively, we can easily get locked into a self-perpetuating, downward cycle of behavior. When this happens, we unwittingly protect others at our own expense.

#7

We have all experienced the effects of being nice and being a bitch. The outcome is the same: we feel helpless and powerless. We do not feel in control of the quality and direction of our