Marriage Built on the Rock

By George O. Assibey

In this book, the author seeks to encourage those who are already married, to stand firm in their marriage and resist the adversary who would try to come and kill, steal, or destroy their marriage.

The biblical and practical insights shared in this book will help both the people of faith and no faith alike, to examine the foundations of their marriage, its pillars, beams and roof, to see if they are strong enough to stand the storms of life.

Christians should not take for granted that their marriage will be fine just because they are believers. Marriage is an institution in which we must all seek to study continuously once enrolled. For those who are contemplating marriage preparation is vital; to those who are already married, evaluation is encouraged; to those who are separated or divorced its not the end of your life. God is the God of second chance.

The author handles such difficult issues like co-habitation, celibacy, divorce and re-marriage with grace, humour and personal experience to encourage the reader that there is hope for every situation in God.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Apr 8, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524630485

George O. Assibey

Reverend George Osei Assibey is the Senior Pastor of Rhema International Church in Milton Keynes, UK, which he founded with his wife Annabel as co-pastor in May 1999. He regards the late Kenneth E. Hagin of Rhema Bible Church, Tulsa, Oklahoma, USA as his first spiritual father and mentor. Rev. Assibey is a gifted Teacher and Preacher of the Word. He graduated as a professional teacher and has held various positions as Educationist, Tutor, Administrator, Counsellor and Immigration Legal Adviser under the OISC in the UK. He holds a B.A degree in Theology (Christian Philosophy and Apologetics) from Trinity College of the Bible & Theological Seminary, Newburgh, Indiana, US. He is currently enrolled to complete the MA/PhD programme. He is regarded as a father figure, having trained several pastors and leaders in the ministry. He and his wife Annabel are blessed with four children: Rachel, Gloria, Amanda and Samuel. They all live in the UK.

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Published by AuthorHouse   07/06/2016

ISBN: 978-1-5246-3047-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5246-3048-5 (e)

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New King James Version (NKJV)

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Contents

Section 1: Pre-Marriage

Chapter One Preparation For Marriage

Chapter Two Choosing Your Bride Or Bridegroom

Section 2: In The Marriage

Chapter Three The Foundations Of Marriage

Chapter Four The Four Pillars Of Marriage

Chapter Five God’s Structure Of The Marital Home

Chapter Six Love And Submission: The Perfect Union Of Intimacy

Chapter Seven Love: (The Roof Over The Marriage)

Chapter Eight The Nuggets Of A Great Marriage

Chapter Nine In-Laws Or Out-Laws

Chapter Ten Conflicts In Marriage: Root Causes And How To Avoid Or Overcome Them

Chapter Eleven Tips For The Wife

Chapter Twelve Tips For The Husband (By Mrs Annabel Assibey)

Section 3: The Alternatives To Marriage Celebate, Co-Habiting Or Divorced

Chapter Thirteen Celibacy

Chapter Fourteen Divorce And Re-Marriage

Chapter Fifteen Conclusion

A Guide To Wedding Planning And Preparation

The Wedding Check List For The Couple

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to all my children, biological and spiritual - and to my beautiful, loving, caring and supportive wife Annabel; and also to all my Pastors, Elders, Leaders and the entire congregation of Rhema International Church (Milton Keynes).

Last but not least, I dedicate this book to all married couples all over the world, who love God and the holy institution of marriage, and aspire to honour their relationships till death do them part.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I am grateful to God Almighty, the creator of heaven and earth and the institution of marriage, of which I am a product and participant; and for the grace and wisdom He has granted me to write this book.

Next, I would like to express my sincere thanks and appreciation to Rev. Sam Korankye-Ankrah, Apostle-General of Royal House Chapel International and his wife Lady Rita, for their friendship and for writing the Foreword to this Book.

I also acknowledge the following Ministers of God and their wives whose mentorship and friendship have influenced and impacted my wife and I over the years: Rev David & Maureen Church (formerly of Milton Keynes Covenant Fellowship), Pastor Danny & Chris Conibere (also formerly of Milton Keynes Covenant Fellowship),

Next I acknowledge the friendship and inspiration of Rev Victor & Mrs Anita Kusi-Boateng (General Overseer of Power Chapel Ministries Worldwide); and also Bishop Tony Johnson & Mrs Becky Adusei (General Overseer of Miracle Family Church, Cape Coast, Ghana).

Last but not least, I would like to express my gratitude to my lovely wife and co-pastor Annabel, for her insights and encouragement and also for contributing one chapter to this book. I love you, my darling.

PREFACE

This book is written from a biblical point of view and from a practical insight gained from the author’s own experience from years of marriage, combined with knowledge gained from pre-marital and marital counselling as a pastor.

It is obvious that the best sociologists and psychologists do not necessarily make the best couples in marriage. The missing ingredients in marriage is to refer to the manufacturer’s manual and ensure that we are using the product in the right way as prescribed by the manufacturer –who is God, the originator of marriage.

Therefore the purpose of this book is not to offer a scientific basis for marriage analysing the causes of marriage break-downs and divorce but rather, to offer a biblically based simple, yet profound way of seeing marriage from God’s perspective, and to re-examine the foundations of marriage, and how to build it on God’s solid Word so that it will last through the life-time of every couple.

In this book I have tried to apply biblical principles to every aspect of marriage from the Word of God in order to bring light into the institution of marriage which seems to be going through a dark phase in the post-modern world.

The entrance of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple. (Psalm 119:130)

The irony is that instead of going back to the manufacturer of a product which is malfunctioning, the buyer is trying to re-assemble the product and give it a new name, and yet blame the manufacturer for the consequences!

It is my hope that individuals yet to marry, couples who are already married for however long, will benefit from the insights in this book and help them strengthen their foundations. I also hope that church Leaders or Marriage Councillors would find some useful materials to use in counselling both would-be as well as established couples who may be going through a rough patch or indeed a storm in their marriage.

The Facts to remember and Notes at the end of each chapter are designed to encourage the use of this book as study guide for couples and Marriage Counsellors.

FOREWORD

FOREWORD BY REV. SAM KORANKYE-ANKRAH

APOSTLE GENERAL, ROYAL HOUSE CHAPEL INTERNATIONAL

Marriage is an institution created by God with the purpose of providing security and companionship as well as reproducing the human race to dominate the earth. Marriage is not race exclusive, you will find it wherever you go.

In introducing marriage God said Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Gen. 2:24 KJV). These few words capture what marriage is supposed to be: a union of one. This is certainly a mystery, for how can two different whole human beings merge and become one?

Marriage is an often desired but little understood institution. Many enter into it with little or no knowledge about how to make it successful thus treating it as a trial and error enterprise, with everything in-between left to chance and luck. We are living in times where divorce is almost fashionable. While many do not have much difficulty in leaving mother and father, there is a real challenge when it comes to cleaving. Could it be because the foundation upon which we seek to cleave is defective? Or because we cleave in haste, without a real appreciation of what we are cleaving to? Or perhaps we do not even cleave at all?

Marriage, when successful brings much honour, favour and joy. But it can also destroy lives and wreak havoc on generations when unsuccessful. If this institution can have such a significant impact on a person, why is there so little preparation for it? People spend more effort, time and money acquiring academic laurels than in preparing for marriage and choosing life partners. While volumes of literature have been written on other areas of human endeavour, there is very little good material on building a successful marriage.

This book, Marriage Built on the Rock couldn’t have come at a more opportune time. Having been married myself successfully for thirty years, I recognize the principles laid out in the book that have helped me build a stable marriage and maintain a happy home. Principles like love, respect, compromise, forgiveness, are principles without which no marriage will succeed. These may sound like Christian principles and indeed they are, but which marriage, whether Christian or not does not require love, respect, compromise and forgiveness to thrive?

Irrespective of your religious persuasion, this is a book you must read if you are desirous of building a successful marriage.

Whether you are about to enter into this honourable institution or are already married, this book will guide you to make the right choices and decisions, it will help you build a solid foundation and provide sound wisdom keys and practical lessons that are guaranteed to make your marriage work.

I recommend highly this book, Marriage Built on the Rock authored by Rev. George Assibey to Pastors, Leaders and individuals who handle marital and family life issues.

Sam Korankye-Ankrah,

General Overseer, Royal House Chapel International

INTRODUCTION

The institution of marriage, like any other creation of God, has been under attack from Satan since the beginning of time. However, in recent years, the alarming rate of divorce and marriage breakdown in all societies all over the world has taken another twist in the attempt or success to redefine marriage itself to suit people in the post-modern 21st century post-Christian world.

For the avoidance of doubt, I want to state from the outset that any reference to ‘marriage’ in this book implies the biblical union between a man and a woman created by God for the procreation of life. Therefore the principles I will be talking about and their applications are based on scripture. However, I believe that whoever seeks to apply the principles outlined in this book will have a successful, happy and enduring marriage.

It is my purpose, in this book, to encourage those who are already married, to stand firm in their marriage and resist the adversary who would try to come and kill, steal, or destroy their marriage.

Just as the enemy goes around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour, we must also watch out for the enemy who seeks to attack and destroy the institution of marriage, especially that of Christians.

In the same vein, I would also urge anyone who is not a Christian, to read the principles God has laid as foundations of marriage and to apply these principles and see the refreshing changes they will bring to their marriage.

According to the Word of God, we are asked to imitate people who have faith and patience, the two qualities required for the believer to inherit the promises of God. (Hebrews 6.12) The irony is that whereas people are prepared to put in extra effort in time, money and resources in their business ventures and careers to ensure eventual success in the face of initial difficulties, by contrast too many people are quick to seek separation and divorce when faced with problems in their marriage. Could it be that our values have changed to the extent that we are willing to sacrifice our marriage and family life for our personal success, egoistic and self-actualisation needs?

Finally, if you are contemplating marriage, I urge you to read this book as a guide to your own future marriage. Contrary to popular concepts that singles are happier, I beg to differ. I was once a bachelor and as a married man I do recommend marriage to you. God designed it to be enjoyed as a union for life on planet earth, through which human lives should be multiplied to populate the whole earth.

George O. Assibey

SECTION 1:

PRE-MARRIAGE

CHAPTER ONE

PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE

He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favour from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22)

Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord (Proverbs 19:14)

Marriage is one of life’s major events in the life of any man or woman, therefore it requires a great deal of thought, prayer, planning and preparation before anyone enters into it. There is a saying that marriage will either make a man or break a man.

But how does one really prepare for marriage? The process may differ from one culture to another, but I believe the main considerations will be applicable to all. These factors are important and relevant:

1. Pre-Marital Counselling

There is a common adage that says failing to prepare is preparing to fail. This is often applied to taking examinations, but is very relevant in