Maintaining Your Marriage God’s Way

By Seth A. Paitoo

MAINTAINING YOUR MARRIAGE GOD’S WAY, is a practical, educational, and inspirational material for that divine standard made for marriage as God wants us to celebrate it on this planet earth. It begins with the divine and practical meaning the word “MARRIAAGE” from the acronym of the word.
Are you married or about to? Understand that the institution “MARRIAGE” is a joint union of a man (male) and a woman (female) who are together to:-
M = Make
A = All
R = Rough (things)
R = Right
I = In
A = Answering
G = God’s (plan for)
E = Eternity.
You are holding in your hand a timely information that may provide you godly and practical effective aid to maintain your marriage God’s way. Is divorce Biblical? What do I do if I am already divorced? Marriage and sex – how do I satisfy my partner in bed? Marriage patterns, evaluating our ways, and understanding the eternal concept of marriage are the information provided in this handbook.
Marriage is God’s institution to humankind. It must be divinely hold by us with a team operative concept and as a ministry as well. In the practicality of this the man and the woman; the husband and the wife; the father and the mother must know what they mean and their functionality from the acronym of the word. You have in your hand the material that will expose you to these information. Read with open heart and uphold what best may be a blessing to your marriage.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jun 6, 2022
• ISBN: 9781669822554

Seth A. Paitoo

Pastor Seth A. Paitoo is a chosen vessel endowed with a remarkable mandate for God’s supernatural revival. He is a servant of God for His own purposes as ordained before the foundation of this earth in Christ Jesus. Pastor Paitoo’s cry is to see God’s revival glory saturate homes, schools, and our societies as the Lord comes for His Glorious Church. Born to the blessed memory of Late Rev. Paul and Cecilia Paitoo, he calling began with the Apostolic Divine Church of Ghana, where he served as the national choir chaplain from 1986 to 1988, and as youth leader of the Accra branch from 1988 to 1989. Unfortunately, he decided to run from the call of God with the aim of traveling to Spain via Nigeria in 1991. However, while in Nigeria, he was divinely connected with the Late Apostle Daniel Atta, who God used as a mentor, to help him to become who he is today. Pastor Paitoo founded Poimaino Miracle and Fire Ministries in Silver Spring, Maryland in 2021, though his ministry started long before. He served as the prayer tower leader under Apostle Atta’s Ministry, Christ the Savior Ministries in Lagos, Nigeria; and in 1994, he became an ordained pastor. He also served as Pastor in Consuming Fire Ministries International in Cape Coast, Ghana. He associated with Resurrection Power & Living Bread Ministries International (REPLIB) in 2004, as visiting Pastor, while worshiping with Christ Life-Giving Ministries International – USA, under Rev. John N. Osakue. He applied as a Pastor in 2011 with REPLIB and was ordained in 2015 by Archbishop Asare Akwasi Bediako with the honor of serving as the resident Pastor of the Maryland Branch.

Book preview

Copyright © 2022 by Seth A. Paitoo.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted

in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any

information storage and retrieval system,

without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, King James Version (Authorized

Version). First published in 1611. Quoted from the KJV Classic Reference

Bible, Copyright © 1983 by The Zondervan Corporation.

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version.

Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®.

NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used

by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. [Biblica]"

Scriptures marked as NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation,

copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of

Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture marked as AMP are taken from the Amplified Bible (AMP), Copyright ©

2015 by The Lockman Foundation, La Habra, CA 90631. All rights reserved.

Scripture marked as NASB are taken from the NEW AMERICAN

STANDARD BIBLE®, Copyright © 1960,1962,1963,1968,1971,1972,1973

,1975,1977,1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 06/03/2022

Xlibris

844-714-8691

www.Xlibris.com

834595

CONTENTS

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Foreword

Introduction

Notation

Chapter 1    The Intricacy of Marriage

Chapter 2    You Can Make It

The Missing Lord

How do we recognize his rulership or make him Lord in our marriage?

Couples Should Not Live to Impress One Another

Open God’s Gates

Close Satan’s Gate

Value What Both Have

Chapter 3    All Things Work Together

The FIVE important words

The five important questions

Chapter 4    One Step At A Time

Be anxious about nothing

Twenty effects of worrying

Avoid competition

Embrace wisdom and prudence

Rightful thinking brings a rightful attitude

Chapter 5    You Are Answerable To God

God’s design for humankind

The Doing Things

Chapter 6    Divorce And Remarriage

What is divorce?

Is divorce biblical?

On what condition should I divorce?

Is divorce biblical?

What must I do if I am already a divorcee?

Divorce and Remarriage, where do I stand?

Let no one condemn you

What lesson have I learned?

What must I do?

Chapter 7    The Path Of Eternity

God’s Plan, Satan’s agenda

Understanding the eternal concept of marriage

The word marriage

What is understanding?

Chapter 8    Evaluate Your Way Part 1

Patterns of marriage

Secrecy in the home

What takes place when there is secrecy in marriage

Chapter 9    Evaluate Your Way Part 2

Sex and your partner

How does one evaluate his way in this area of sex in the marriage?

The procedure of love-play during bedtime

Chapter 10    God’s Divine Standard Living For Married Ones

32 Godly Rules For Married Men

30 Rules For Godly Women

About the Author

DEDICATION

Firstly, in complete and wholehearted fidelity, I declare praise, glory, and honor in dedication unto the triune God for his riches of grace on me.

Secondly, in a ceremony of God’s gift for my life, I dedicate this book to my beloved wife, Georgina Ruth Paitoo, and daughters, Lois Adwoa-Korkor Paitoo and Jochebed Ekua Paitoo. In particular, I am grateful for their selfless concern and prayers, even during my missionary journey in the United States over a eighteen-year period, since 2002. They have been lovely, patient, faithful, and caring throughout the time that I spent writing this book. May God envelop you with his mercy and grace for destiny fulfilment.

In addition, I dedicate this book to my parents, the late Rev. Paul and Mrs. Cecilia Paitoo, chairpersons of Apostolic Divine Church, Ghana, in their last days. I wish you were still alive to witness what your married life of love, harmony, and prayerful support had imparted unto me until today. To my brother Emmanuel Paitoo, I appreciate your skillfulness in putting all the diagrams in this book into reality. I wish you were around to have seen the end of the great work you did.

Finally, as a message to everyone in the world, I dedicate this book to those who are married or unmarried, Traditionalist, Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim, or Christian, and those of any other religious belief.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I give the greatest and unending credit to the God of our Lord Jesus Christ and the Father of glory. May his name be forever adored for the unsearchable riches of his grace that made this piece of work possible. Thank you, my Father in heaven, I love you and will always love you because you first loved me.

I appreciate the following great men and women:

The late apostle Daniel Atta, I wish you were alive to see what the Lord has done in my life; my mentor whose apostolic calling ushered me into the calling of God on me when I was running away from it.

Rev. and Mrs. John N. Osakue (Christ Life-Giving Ministries, USA), thank you for the positive impact you have had on my life. God bless you.

Archbishop Asare A. Bediako and his wife, Pastor Stella Bediako, general overseer of Resurrection Power & Living Bread Ministries International. My father in the Lord, I am thankful for God’s grace upon you and the personal encounter of God that I had under your leadership.

I express my gratitude to all the members of the REPLIB Maryland branch. You have been a blessing in many ways to the Lord’s calling on my life. God bless you all.

Finally, my sincere and deep gratitude to all members of POIMAINO Miracle and Fire Ministries for your unfeigned concern and contribution toward this project. It is your contribution that has made this vision a reality. May God multiply you and your descendants with his supply, protection, and never allow any of you to be a lost at the Lord’s second coming, in name of Jesus Christ.

FOREWORD

Part of the reason God established marriage was to provide a secure and godly offspring (Malachi 2:15). Also a woman needs emotional security as well as having partner that both could fulfil destiny together. The thoughts of this masterpiece Maintaining Your Marriage God’s Way is like a marriage manual that will help you keep it where the problem lies and be at peace as we live on this planet earth. Those who are married and those who are about to marry could use this information for I see it a marriage manual.

Read this book for instruction, for edification, and for the understanding on maintaining your marriage God’s way. Those in the church and outside the church need to know to maintain their marriage God’s way in order to live happily. An important subject one should uphold and understand by all – (the man and woman joined by the Bible standard). The conviction of Pastor Dr. Seth Paitoo is shared, with biblical backing, on How to maintain your marriage in God’s way.

It does not matter who you are, your position, religious background, the tribe, language and culture; marriage is a very important issue for all, and the writer’s information is a timeless principles with God’s word for us now before eternity with the Lord. The detailed message is quite profound and revealing. It will keep your home safe and happy, knowing that you are truly maintaining your marriage God’s way. Your sex life as married ones, its proper and Biblical way. I recommend this for every married home and even those who have lost hope as to how marriage homes need to be.

Bishop Dr Dei Asare Morris

The Presiding Bishop

Abundant Life Family church international

Ghana West Africa

FOREWORD

In this insightful book, Maintaining Your Marriage God’s Way, my bosom friend Pastor Seth A. Paitoo, continues to distinguish himself as an undisputed teacher of biblical prominence.

Nailing the hammer on the head, he describes marriage as a complex institution designed by God and urges us to therefore learn to maintain it God’s way and not your way. Asserting that it is under constant attack, he explains why many homes are struggling and offers cogent remedies which he substantiates with scriptures precisely and concisely.

On the subject of divorce, the master craftsman demonstrates his authority in an area that has stirred many controversies, inaccuracies, distortions and led many astray. Then he expertly sets the record straight with fluidity and balance in a manner that will leave you gaping in amazement. This breathtaking stuff can only emerge from the pen of a spiritual master-class.

The book is spiced with remarkable and powerful statements of quotes that are compelling and moving: Due to space constrains, let me whet your appetite with just this two: Anyone that refuses to learn refuses to grow. Equally, he who will not learn from his past will not enjoy any change.

It does not matter how famous, intelligent, gifted, or rich one may become in the marriage institution. If our involvement is not in line with the purpose and plan of the triune God, we are off his track.

If there is one thing that really defines our hero, it is his meticulous and painstaking penchant for research which makes the book enriching and appealing. He cites from renowned authorities such as Warren W. Wierbse, Myron Rush, George Washington, A.W.Tozer amongst others to load the material with depth of substance that cannot easily be over emphasized.

Flowing in an unusual teaching unction, the biblical scholar extends the contents of the book to other areas of biblical relevance that is a real beauty to behold. Firing on all cylinders, he employs every trick in the scriptures to keep his readers alive, revived, uplifted and refreshed.

I personally recommend this powerful, inspiring, authentic, life-transforming and comprehensive discourse to several segments of people: Those who seek knowledge on marriage before they make a commitment; those whose marriages are going through some turbulence/marital dissatisfaction and need some godly counsel and those considering divorce as the best option.

Marriage counselors will undoubtedly enrich their understanding and enhance their knowledge with this inspiring, authentic, life-transforming and comprehensive discourse.

Sit under the feet of this Kingdom GENERAL and tap from his rich vein of experience and you will be catapulted to your next level of glory as you – Maintain Your Marriage God’s Way.

BISHOP DR EVANS GLOVER

Presiding Bishop

Shiloh Gospel Ministries International Inc. – USA

President

The Council of Ghanaian Pastors and Churches,USA

FOREWORD

The beautiful institution of marriage whose architect and designer is God Almighty, was intended to bring continuity and joy to the human race. However, marriage has come under serious attack since its inception. The disintegration of the fabric of society culminating in disappointments, murders, wars, and waywardness - is a consequence of the malfunction of the family system which stems from faulty marriages. Since creation humankind has gradually devalued and reengineered the institution of marriage to our own disadvantage. It is evident that all efforts to salvage the institution of marriage seem to elude and outpace our human strategies; there is therefore an urgent need to fix the problem before it gets out of hand.

The most disturbing issue is that Christian marriages that are supposed be a shining example to the world, is suffering the same fate that is confronting the non-Christian community. The multiplicity of marital problems, spike in divorce rate and their concomitant vicissitudes in the Christian circles are overwhelming. It is very disconcerting to note that many a Pastor and those in high positions in the church have also been caught in the web of marital infidelity, thereby destroying marriages and breaking up of families. It is a source of great concern and the alarm bells are sounding everywhere for the church and the larger community to rethink the institution of marriage, understand how God intended it to be, and humbly find ways to go back to embrace the original intent of God for its existence.

It is from this backdrop that my brother and friend Pastor Seth Paitoo, a veteran Minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ for more than three decades, has painstakingly and assiduously researched, and worked to pen this valuable resource in an attempt to contribute his quota to the revitalization of the institution of marriage. He authored this book by drawing from his personal experience as a loving husband of one wife for over two decades, a responsible father of two daughters, Pastoral Counselor, and a sought after speaker on Christian marriage.

In the book Pastor Seth Patioo discusses the concept of marriage as a complex institution, designed by and for God which has eternal consequences. His definition of marriage encapsulates the thesis of the book; using the marriage acronym he defines marriage as: Make All Rough (things) Right In Answering God’s (plans) for Eternity. To him marriage is to produce strong families that are aligned with God’s plans and purposes for all creation, and to bring the entire home at the end into eternity with our creator. From here Pastor Seth Paitoo takes the reader on an intriguing biblical, theological and practical way of what marriage is and how to practice it God’s way.

With very clear and simple construction, Pastor Seth Paitoo brilliantly suggests to the reader that despite the complexity of marriage, we can make it work to become a source of joy, if we understand that God makes all things work together for our good. Furthermore, if we patiently work on our marital relationship one step at a time, and understand the fact that couples are answerable to God, we will consciously endeavor not to get ourselves in situations that might call for divorce and remarriage. The book makes a bold claim of which I endorse that if we understand the eternal purpose of God for marriage, we will evaluate our marital paths against the standards set by God and thereby reclaiming the blessings that come with God’s type of marriage.

This well written and easy to read book has particularly enriched my repertoire of knowledge on marriage in general and Christian marriage in particular. As a Pastor I gleaned a number of insightful illuminations that will sharpen my role as a Marriage Counsellor and teachings on the topic of marriage to my congregation. As you read this great book you will come away with a wealth of information about how to prepare for marriage, knowing the purpose and plans of God for marriage, and acquire the necessary tools and skills to maintain a peaceful and fulfilling marriage. After reading this book your perception about marriage will be challenged and redirected towards God’s intended marriage to enable you benefit from the blessings that come with it.

I highly recommend this book to you as it will equip you with all that you need to know to create a satisfying marriage and eventually give a good account to God in eternity.

John Kudolf Ansah (Pastor)

Regional Head

The Church of Pentecost U.S.A., Inc.

Maryland, USA

INTRODUCTION

Since humankind is created by Almighty God of the heavens and earth, it is his will that every marriage must conform to the light of his standard, irrespective of religion, tradition, or one’s own beliefs. Moreover, I think many people will not come into this gloriously ordained standard of peace, joy, and harmony because of our lack of knowledge. It is obvious and very surprising that many married homes are struggling.

In fact, marriage is the number one institution that is under constant attack. For that will be the case until the end of our temporal journey on this earth, or until the second coming of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. This I say because after the angelic attack during their dispensation, the next attack made was against the institution of marriage – [family in picture by God when He created Adam and Eve].

In Genesis chapter 1, Elohim saw that everything he had created was very good (verse 31). In Genesis chapter 2, where the descriptive expression of creation is detailed, Jehovah Elohim revealed his divine institution of marriage (family in picture) to the world. He took a rib from the man and brought him a woman, not women. This act of God depicts the virtue of the name Jehovah Elohim (i.e., the creative and the redemptive powerful God).

God had the power to bring many women out of one rib for Adam if that was his plan for mankind, but he did not design it that way. Now, after God performed this miracle, Adam divinely understood what God had given him and said: this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh . . . Then followed another wonderful statement: therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24, KJV). In other words, this is where God’s divine standard of leaving father and mother to become husband and wife was announced to the universe (the presupposition of the marriage institution).

Unfortunately, just after this announcement came the attack upon the institution of marriage through a simple but powerful and cunning statement that has never ceased until today, which is: has God said you shall not eat of every tree in the garden? These are the words Satan told Eve in order to destroy their relationship with God. It was a deeper way to erect a different foundation for destruction. Hence, until we end our temporal life on this planet Earth, there may be always either spiritual or physical attacks that will bring the divine institution of marriage to a certain uncontrollable or unimaginable end in many households.

Therefore, as you read this book, may God’s glorious divine intervention in these last days cause you to understand the complexity of marriage. Then learn to maintain it God’s way and not your way! It is also important to explain in the introduction that ALL those married, marrying, or are yet to marry must understand even though MARRIAGE is said to be a man and a woman legally joined together.

There is a divine and practical meaning in the acronym of the word, which implies a legally united man and a woman together in order to:

These are the respective meanings that accompany the word MARRIAGE. Thus, I humbly appeal to every individual who is dealing with the institution of marriage to understand that it is a complex institution that was designed by God.

Marriage is not just a theoretical definition of the legal joint union of a man and a woman. Practically and divinely, marriage is the joint legal union of a man and a woman, together to Make All Rough (things) Right In Answering God’s (plan for) Eternity.

If you are in it, know this. If you are about to enter into marriage, identify with it. And if your time has not yet come, understand this in order to make a peaceful home here until our eternity with God.

The ultimate goal for marriage is to produce strong families that are aligned with God’s plans and purposes for all generation, and to bring the entire home at the end into eternity with our Creator. This is the main reason for the early attack made against Adam and Eve. It is the enemy’s intention to perpetuate his evil agenda until Christ comes. Therefore, these practical/divine and purpose of marriage, as mentioned above, must reign in the hearts of all participants who are in this wonderful institution of God.

While it is true that we will not join our partners in marriage in heaven, our marriages must exhibit righteousness, peace, and joy in order to raise godly children who will accomplish that same mission for the kingdom of God, now and for his eternal glory to come. This can be attained if husband and wife keep in mind their divine relationship with God and uphold his original plan and purpose for the family in making all rough things right.

With this concept in mind, I believe that divorce will cease, child abuse will stop, unforgiveness in relationships will be a thing of the past, and other issues in marriages will not be an option. Rather, married couples will seek solutions through the word of God, which is his breathe and that divine mind for us. Hence, keeping the aforementioned principle in the acronym of the word marriage in mind will help us to maintain our marriage God’s way. There cannot be marriage without rough times; at some point, marriages will inevitably experience such times.

Maintaining your marriage God’s way is a timely written information to all marriages of today’s generation. It is a work of spiritual literature that will help couples to minimize trouble in the home by following God’s principles and keeping them as a way of life. Understand you are married to "Make All Rough (things) Right In Answering God’s (plan for) Eternity." It is the duty of married partners to uphold this fact till death do us apart.

Regardless of what you are going through, marriage is of God; you can make it, because all things are working for your good! All it takes is one step at a time. While abiding by God’s principles, you can maintain your marriage God’s way!

It is based on this principle that the book in your hand is written. This is my contribution to the marriage institution, with some few things that those married and yet to marry need to recognize and uphold. Read through it with an open heart and you will be blessed. Shalom.

NOTATION

Before we proceed to the content of this book, let us take a look at the primordial family trees in the Bible. The Bible is God’s infallible book of instructions with an eternal purpose to reveal how we should live and operate like him. In this purpose is the concept of families that should be placed in line with what he is doing. In other words, the Bible is the revelation of God’s plan to humanity (families in view) on how we should govern our lives according to his will, plan, and purpose.

Hence, Primordial Family Trees, these charts below, simply reveal the ancient families in line with God’s salvation plan to point out how complex our existence is. If the complexity of family is not received by anyone who comes to the Bible, its reading and study may not be fully useful to us. The Bible is a family book of God for mankind to understand his salvation plan and how we exist is such a plan. It is spread through tables A, B, and C.

Table A begins with Adam and Eve, and ends with Noah.

Table B begins with Noah and after the deluge, and ends with Terah.

Table C begins with Terah, where the patriarch Abraham’s calling becomes a prophetic picture of a new family of God’s own people for his divine work, now and until eternity with God.

Abraham’s calling involves new families and that nations of the world coming into divine alignment with God’s original plan. It was (a prophetic picture of) God’s announcement of marriage, in which he was bringing new families and nations back unto himself. The two scriptural passages below explain this fact.

"Now the LORD said to Abram; get out of your family…and in you ALL THE FAMILIES of the earth shall be blessed" (Genesis 12:1–3, NKJV emphasis added).

"And the LORD said, shall I hide from Abraham what I am doing since Abraham shall become a great and might nation and ALL NATIONS OF THE EARTH shall be blessed in him?" (Genesis 18:17–18, NKJV emphasis added).

From Genesis chapter one before chapter twelve had been FAMILIES from these Prehistoric family trees. So the two passages above with the phrases All the Families and All the Nations of the Earth respectively was a direction to a prophetic order – The Families for God whereby a divine families will be attained here now and for eternity.

image1.jpgimage2.jpgimage3.jpg

When one considers these tables, you will notice the intricacy of the tables above and how complex they are based on the various sons and daughters born to these people. At same time, this exhibits that marriage is a complex institution because it is through marriage that the various sons and daughters were born. Ishmael’s twelve sons in Table C, as seen from Genesis 25:13–18 and 1 Chronicles 1:29–31 (Nebaioth, Kedar, Adbeel, Midsam, Mishma, Dumah, Massa, Hadad, Tema, Jutur, Naphish, and Kedemah), illustrates the complexity of marriage. Because anytime we mention the patriarchs, Ishmael is not mentioned, much less the children. Yet the Lord permitted their record to be known. Their continual references were not mostly mentioned but part of the descendants are known in scripture. And the main reason is God’s salvation plan was revealed in the calling of Abraham as he promised him, his sons, and as many (including the descendants of Ishmael) that will come through Christ Jesus—the seed. This did not mean that God ignored them; rather, he permitted whatever happened so that through marriage, all will be blessed in him as mentioned to Abraham in Genesis 12:1-3; 18:17-18.

Therefore, our participation in the marriage institution and the maintaining of it in God’s way is imperative, as to God’s plan. So, as one understands being part of what God has permitted to take place, he or she may desire to follow God’s way in perpetuating a godly marriage for the benefit of the kingdom of God now and for generations to come. To this end, let us learn how to maintain our marriage God’s way, beginning with the intricacy of marriage.

CHAPTER ONE

The Intricacy of Marriage

Now Jehovah said to Abram, go from your land and from your relatives and from your father’s house to the land that I will show you . . . and in you all the families of the earth will be blessed

—Genesis 12:1–3 (RV)

I see this passage as a prophetic picture of a new family that God instituted after the initial order of Adam and Eve. The reason is Abram, who later became Abraham, had a family, but the Lord used him as a catalyst whereby and through whom godly families of the earth will come to pass and be blessed. God did this so that his plan of salvation could be executed through people of his own. I therefore illustrate this in the diagram below showing the true placement of marriage by God and how complex we should consider it.

image4.jpeg

Figure 1: A pictorial view of marriage in the

divine set up according to God’s plan

Marriage is very complex in its formation, and until we understand this concept, maintaining it God’s way will not be important to us. Two persons becoming one flesh is a divine mandate from the Lord. Besides Christ being the head of the church as well as one who has given himself for the church, and representing the concept that is linked to husband and wife as revealed by Apostle Paul in Ephesians 5:22–33, hence as "A divine union is connected with Christ and the Church, so wives and