Electricity In My Stomach

By Jasmine Stewart and Neko Lynn

A vulnerable and raw free-style poetry collection that depicts a personal account of pain, heartbreak and triumph. As you navigate through this poetry collection, you'll find that this book is a narrated story that has a peaceful ending. My wish is for readers to use this book as a reminder that everything d

• Language: English
• Publisher: Palmetto Publishing
• Release date: Aug 24, 2021
• ISBN: 9781638379591

Book preview

Part 1:

The Storm

Electricity in My Stomach: Part 1

The feeling of this lump in my throat is one I know all too well

I try to swallow my feelings, but they lead to an upset stomach

The feelings now rest in the pit of my stomach;

there is now electricity in my stomach—

lightning, a storm, a torrential downpour, a flood

I’m flooded with my own pain that I can’t find a cure for

These walls in my stomach are at max capacity

but I’d rather feel the pain in my stomach

because my heart has dealt with enough

Although I’m uncertain of how I feel

I can tell you trying to explore through the vast intervals

is scary, and it expands my being to the moon

If they only knew…

If I only knew…

But I must hush now because I can’t expect anyone to be emotionally available for the storms within

Electricity in My Stomach: Part 2

Lately, I’ve been feeling rather full

My stomach walls are protruding

But I don’t think I’m alone here when I say how fruitful it is to be full, but being stuffed is an icky feeling

I’m rather brimful, filled with the lumps that once lived in my throat;

I swallowed them whole

instead of letting them travel to my eyes and allowing them to reproduce tears to relieve me

These tears now rest in the pit of my stomach; there is now electricity in my stomach,

a repeated cycle that I need to break

There is an underlying appreciation in repetition

But when it comes to this, I have to subtract and not add any more stress on my own being

I need to find a sense of control in the midst of this storm

As the years continue, I have the thought of how I’m not getting any younger here

My greatest journey will be the day that the storms in my stomach transform into my idea of a perfect day

Infertility

Every month I pray for you

I pray that you’ll make a smooth transition into this world

I pray that my aura is peaceful enough to handle being this close to God

I pray my body will do what I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember

Every month I watch my body closely

I think to myself if my body is indicating any changes—

well, maybe the sore breasts, moodiness, and cramps are proof that you’ve made it

All I know is maternal instinct is first nature to me

I want to feel nauseous

I want to have aversions

I want to make my body home to a baby

Every month I think, Okay, body, do your duty,

as if all my purpose is on this earth is to carry life

I wonder every month if the time is now

so like clockwork, the day before my missed period, I take a pregnancy test

I convince myself that typical period symptoms align with pregnancy:

I presume this is definite proof

Sadly, I feel like I am tied to complacently as the test yet again shows negative.

I always plead to God; I simply ask, When will it be my time to experience unconditional love?

I sit and think, When will my body be home to a baby?

Even if I spin the wheel of fortune, it couldn’t compare

All the money in the world does not compare to this battle;

this is out of my own control…

and although the tears flow like the tide of the ocean every month

a thought that resounds is that