Understanding Women

By Rudo Kanukamwe

Romance poems and novels are all about physical desire and "happily-ever-afters." However, the honest truth is that  "happily-ever-after" is not induced by physical desire. Real love is not to desire a person but to desire their happiness and to love them. Understanding Women is a title providing invaluable insights into what exactly transpires in the female's mind, soul and their being. This book answers the most critical questions and gives an analysis on why women seem too arguememntative or talkative, and then advises on how best you can navigate in such moments. Furthermore, it provides a clear analysis of why your destiny is tied to the woman by your side. Understanding Women is the ultimate guide to understanding the woman you love.                                                                                                                                                                    

• Language: English
• Publisher: The Ad Publishing Agency
• Release date: Aug 23, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201513856

Book preview

Author’s notes.

I will briefly explain my title. Hopefully, this explanation will make this book more relevant when you read it than when I started writing it.

In January 2020, I met an old-school friend who is four years older than I am. We talked and started catching up on old memories. Much to my dismay, he had been married and divorced. He said she was too demanding, and he never understood what she wanted.

That was a sad and devastating revelation.

I was touched to the core and inspired to write.

I pictured this man falling in love with this lady, and then committing to live their lives together in a marriage union. I imagined they had a wedding where the lady was dressed in a virginal white satin gown for admittance—on an honorary basis—into a marriage institute unknown to both. I felt their joy, their bliss as the two souls journeyed to find a common abode during their honeymoon phase; and then saw them spin into an unexpected nose dive which crashed their once unified hearts into a thousand pieces. I, at this point, wondered how a marriage once so sweet had developed claws which tore apart my friend’s life.

The concerns I felt pushed me to explore the reason most marriage unions between men and women end in divorce, and to explain how such misunderstandings can be managed.

I wrote this book because to answer these questions:

Why are women so complicated?

Why are women unpredictable?

Why are women difficult to understand?

You may wonder at my competence to provide answers to the above questions; well, I have lived with them; I understand them, because I am one of them.

This book is not about changing the woman by your side; it's about changing the way you view her. Simply put, Understanding Women, gives you a deeper insight into her mood swings and stringent tempers which strike like lightning and disappear like smoke.

PREFACE

I grew up in Northend, a suburb in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe. I can still vividly remember that I had so many dreams, hopes, and imaginations for the future. Never content with the present reality, I spent most of my days watching movies, listening to music, reading and writing, and viewed life from a different perspective.

I grew up with my father and my mother. My father was a police officer, and he was my first love (the first man I ever loved), and my mentor, my neurologist, my advisor, my nutritionist, my bodyguard; in brief, my everything.

He taught me to walk up tall, and to be confident and to prepare myself for the future ahead. He always emphasized, "Be confident. Say whatever you want to say without fear or anticipation that you might scare people away.’’

He would also emphasize, Sit down, and be humble. Humility is not defined by the power we have, or how much is in our bank accounts, but it is the willingness to learn as much as we can about those different from us, and to use what we have to do whatever we can to leave space better than the way we found it.

I am sure he recited this from one great philosopher.

My mother was a primary school teacher, and she taught me to love, give, and work hard with my own hands. She spent most of her time at school with kids that came from different walks of life, who portrayed the distinct personalities of a doomed society riddled by love, deceit, corruption and the vivid hardships faced by women.

And in that environment, she created equilibrium, and pushed me to fit in with my face forward, unflinchingly navigating the odds. From these experiences, something in my mind began asserting itself, and steadily it drew my whole being to the point where I set pen to paper and started writing.

My words are neither small nor large; I believe my language is authentic, and so is my fellow women’s exotic speech which I understand so well.

If not I, who? If not here, where? If not now, when?

My life is but writing. I do not chose the title though; it forms steadily and comes together to reveal the final theme. At times I write about love, though in my foolish pride I do not see the underside because I will be writing with the burden of my creative gift. It is by this medium that the voice of the voiceless and their fears are transmitted in inscribed waves.

I was blessed because in my life I had extensive interactions with my great grandparents on both my paternal and maternal side. The great lessons they taught me are these:

If you are going to fight, fight to win.

If you are going to argue, keep your heart straight and your ego in check.

If you are going to ask questions, then get answers to solve your problems.

Don’t always complain; find a breakthrough in your miseries.

If you are going to interact with people, use love and warmth to convey messages.

Don’t be too talkative; don’t gossip.

Give so that you bless, not curse, another soul.

I am offering my own gift of a story, in the title, Understanding Women.

Chapter 1: Why women are so argumentative.

When I began writing this book, I met someone who is not married and is probably pursuing marriage. This person had a lot to say about this title. They asked me, ‘are you writing for a theoretical man or a practical man?’ I didn’t respond because I have never come across a theoretical man or a practical man, and I also didn’t want to seem too philosophical

During my study on life through exposure to the world, I have come to realize that there is a slight difference between men and women when it comes the need to be heard and to be right. For most women, attention translates to self-worth. I know of women who went through tough situations in life, and pretty much hit rock bottom; however, when they eventually made it to the surface, they became quite vocal and would use and still use arguments as some kind of weapon to prove their self-worth and their importance.

It is important to understand that most women have an urge to have things done their way only. They always have to be right and must dominate the conversation. With such kind of women, your power lies in how you respond, and how you listen and validate their emotions. Always make decisions based on the topic of the conversation, and you will accomplish great things.

The basic reason women argue