I RECENTLY SPOKE at a conference for CEOs in North Carolina, and after I gave my presentation, an enthusiastic gentleman came over to speak with me. He told me how great my presentation was and how he worked with “coloured people” back home and how impressed he was with how “articulate” I was. If this gentleman had approached me like this three or four years ago, I would have ripped him apart for his total and utter offensiveness. But I am an empathetic work in progress, and although in my head I was like, What in the world?!?, I took a breath and listened for understanding, not for accuracy.
UNDERSTANDING #1: This CEO was genuinely excited to speak with me about my presentation and wanted to learn more.
UNDERSTANDING #2: This individual gave no sign that he intended to offend me.
UNDERSTANDING #3: If this individual grew up in a rural area, with limited exposure to people who were not white, like him, and that is all he had known, he may not understand that saying ‘coloured people’ and ‘people of colour’ are not one and the same. Therefore, he may not understand the offense.
Now, I want to make perfectly clear that my listening for understanding does mean that
