Sexy and Free: Predictably Beautiful
By Perry Pitts
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About this ebook
Everyone wants to feel happy. Part of feeling great has to do with feeling attractive. The way you value yourself has a huge impact on your life. This book is about the reasons that keep women from feeling sexy, and how to solve those small problems. It is about maximizing potential, knowing your worth, and living life to the fullest. Whenever you stumble or lose focus, there is always a path to heal and get back on track. So you can feel Sexy and Free.
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Sexy and Free - Perry Pitts
SEXY
AND
FREE
Predictably Beautiful
PERRY PITTS
Copyright © Perry Pitts 2019
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 9781798788783
DEDICATION
I would like to dedicate this book to all of the women in the world who have faced any trials and faced obstacles. You have been an inspiration for me to keep going. You’ve helped to show me how to be a strong man and that caring for others is a strength not a weakness. I encourage and support you in every phase of life. You are amazing.
I’d like to also dedicate this to all of the girls and women who are recovering from sex slavery. WE will stand and fight together. You are not alone!
Last but not least, I’d like to dedicate this to the most inspirational women in my life. My mom. You’ve always encouraged me to be the very best version of myself, and I’m finally trying to live up to that.
CONTENTS
Why Did I Write This Book?
Chapter One: Understanding Your Needs
Chapter Two: Jealousy: Beating the Green Monster
Chapter Three: Moves Like Jagger
Chapter Four: Is Love Real?
Chapter Five: Control Freak
Chapter Six: Breakups: Why Do They Really Happen?
Chapter Seven: Bedroom Play
Chapter Eight: Best of Friends: 5 Easy Steps to Make Him Yours
Chapter Nine: Eat Better = Feel Sexier
Chapter Ten: Your Body Is Your Temple
Chapter Eleven: Female Entrepreneur 101: Living with Purpose
Chapter Twelve: Getting Over fear of Speaking
Chapter Thirteen: The Importance of Yoga
Chapter Fourteen: Comfort Zone: Feeling Better About Your Body
Chapter Fifteen: Sexy and Free: Predictably Beautiful
Why Did I Write this Book?
I
’m sure you’ve cared intensely about someone and thought the world of them…and wished they felt that way about themselves, too. This has happened to me many times—I can’t say how often I’ve been sidelined as a woman allowed herself to be mistreated because she wasn’t aware of her own value. All of us have things happen in our daily lives that can impact the way we feel about ourselves, but in my experience, I’ve seen that women seem to be more affected by this than men. I’m hoping that with this book, I can help more women see their inner beauty and strength.
Ever since I started dating, I’ve noticed that many of the most gifted and attractive women are also the women who are the most afraid and vulnerable. Seeing them not value themselves has been painful. It’s also been painful to be viewed as being strange for appreciating them more than they appreciated themselves. At times, I’ve felt that being genuine was maybe the wrong way to go.
This perception of women seemingly not seeing their full value led me to feel more and more compassion for them. I kept thinking, She’s beautiful! Why does she feel this way? Why doesn’t she value herself the way I value her?
This nagging question began to affect my friendships with women, in part because along the way, sometimes I would develop romantic feelings for certain women. When I did, I still couldn’t bridge the perception gap, and that prevented any real magic from developing between us.
Now, let’s not pretend that men don’t also have the same challenges, because they do—in fact, throughout this process, I was starting to feel less valuable myself. Little by little, bit by bit, my confidence was leaving me. I began to fear to speak my mind. I thought I was failing miserably every time things didn’t pan out the way I had hoped they would (no matter how hard I tried). Each time my endeavors fell short, I was reminded of the previous failed situation with the previous woman. All I really wanted was for each of them to see the beauty in themselves, for them to see themselves the way I saw them.
You would think that I would have thrown in the towel after so many failed relationships, but instead, I decided I had to figure out what was going wrong. I did what any man who has repeatedly failed did: I devised a plan. I thought, If I’m constantly losing out on relationships because I think these women are beautiful and valuable, but they don’t see themselves that way, then maybe I should start to see them as less valuable and less unattractive.
That was a terrible idea! That was totally not the way to go. Not only did I feel like I was destroying a part of what I really love, I was living a lie. The truth was, I still felt the same way—I still thought the women I wanted to be with were physically and mentally attractive. But they still didn’t think that, though, and when we lack confidence in our own attractiveness, that lack of confidence leaks into other areas of our life. I saw that they used different methods to get rid of the feeling of feeling unattractive.
My romantic failures were leading me to see where a lack of confidence could take someone: you might wind up pursuing the wrong career, giving up on academic goals, choosing the wrong partner, settling for the wrong person, settling for an undesirable lifestyle…in short, not fully living up to your potential. That’s a painful process! The worst feeling, we can have been knowing we could achieve so much more than we what are achieving, whether we’re thinking about our business, career, education, or romantic affairs.
I decided that maybe relationships just weren’t for me, because I sure wasn’t getting anywhere with my romantic affairs. Frankly, I was terrible at relationships. I stepped back from my romantic endeavors and began to focus on myself. I began to have more and more platonic relationships with women who also weren’t looking for a romantic relationship, women who just wanted companionship.
I still didn’t quite understand why so many of them didn’t feel as attractive as they really were, but what I did immediately notice was that my level of comfort with them changed. I was more at ease with myself. I could start to see things more clearly, especially as I became closer friends with them. Some allowed me to see exactly how they felt about themselves, their relationships, and their careers. They told me why they didn’t feel so sexy…and they even asked me for advice!
At first, I wasn’t sure how I should respond to my newfound close friends, because I wanted them to feel safe and secure. And honestly, most of time, I didn’t think they needed to change anything. These women were already amazing! They just needed to see things from a different perspective. (There truly is a sexiness to being genuine, but it seems like it has become somewhat rare to come across someone who is genuine about what they desire.) Having my female friends confide in me was opening my eyes and even changing my own emotional balance.
I began to express myself differently, mainly because I was constantly hearing about and dealing with emotions. Some of my women friends were going through tough situations: breakups, weight gain, career changes, family issues, etc. In the midst of all of that, sometimes they forgot to love themselves, and I wanted to remind them—all of us need a constant reminder to love ourselves, especially when we don’t feel good about ourselves.
And that’s why I wrote this book: to inspire you and give you genuine reasons to feel beautiful and know your true value. I’m a man, not a woman, but I love and respect women. And because I’m a man and not a woman, by reading this book, women will discover key ways to understand men and how they think. I feel this is something that can help women understand themselves better, too.
This book will serve as constant reminder of how valuable and special you are! You can think of the book’s contents as a road map, because these chapters can help you get to where you would like to go in life.
And you know what else? (Single ladies, you’ll definitely love this.) You don’t need a man to be happy and feel sexy—you can be all you can be as a single woman. You can have satisfying, life-enriching relationships with men without being romantic with them.
One big obstacle to men and women having both platonic and romantic relationships with each other is the communication issue. Communication can be so…well…confusing. I’ve often experienced the awkwardness that can be involved with friendships between men and women. Sometimes someone interprets something the wrong way, especially when one half of the partnership wants to be more than friends but isn’t sure how to make that happen. (Or if that transition should happen.) With that in mind, another thing I’ve done in this book is to break down how to take friendship to the next level step-by-step, including signs to look for to know if a guy friend is interested in you in a romantic way.
Lastly, I’ve offered insight on how to create a more positive mindset about all aspects of your life and how to achieve your goals while managing the crazy weight of responsibilities and stress that the world forces upon us. You’ll even find tips on how to maintain a proper diet, so you can stay fit and feel sexy while balancing your hectic schedule!
Truly, I’ve put my heart and soul into this book. I hope every woman who reads this can benefit from these words. No matter what situation you’ve been in or what background you’ve come from, reading this book can improve your outlook on yourself and your life.
It has been a blessing to write this book, a dream come true! I sincerely hope the thoughts that follow make your life better,