Lemon Moon

By Kumar Persad

Inside, You Will Discover:

• How to successful deal with a break up and heal your broken heart
• How to love and be loved again
• Skills and techniques to create open and honest conversation
• The basic difference between chemistry and compatibility
• Dating fundamentals - less stress and more ease
• How me

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kumar Persad
• Release date: Dec 15, 2020
• ISBN: 9781952098376

Book preview

LEMON MOON

Kumar Persad

Copyright © 2020 by Kumar Persad

www.relationshipbiohackers.com

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. Some names have been changed to protect individual’s privacy

Table of Contents

Foreword

Introduction The Birth Of Lemon Moon

1. Why Relationships End

2. Stop The Blame Game…Look In The Mirror!

3. Forgiveness

4. Understanding The Seasons Of Relationships

5. Understanding Chemistry Vs Compatibility

6. Getting Back In The Saddle Again

7. Vetting Out Your Next Relationship

8. Open And Honest Communication

9. The Importance Of Sexual Compatibility

10. Setting Flexible Healthy Boundaries Within The Relationship

11. Long Term Relationships Vs Marriage

12. What Locks Us Up: Relationship Cancers

13. The Importance of a Lemon Moon

14 The Story Continues

FOREWORD

Relationships are like homes.

When a light bulb burns out, you replace it. You don’t leave or sell your home to go buy a new one.

Yet if you look at the divorce statistics, the trend shows that people would rather change their home than change the light bulb.

Now let me ask you this…

Would you take the burnt out light bulb with you to your new home and expect it to magically work?

You probably wouldn’t.

But that’s what everyone is doing in their relationships.

They’re carrying their relationship baggage into every new relationship, and when the relationship stops working, they throw it to the side and go on the hunt for the next relationship.

This pattern will repeat itself over and over until they take the time to heal and let go of this baggage.

What is this baggage, you may be wondering?

Well first, it isn’t just baggage from past relationships. The baggage can be from childhood wounds, traumatic experiences, negative self-talk, toxic thoughts, addictions, lack of self-love, repressed or distorted sexuality, low self-esteem or confidence, lack of emotional intelligence, limiting belief systems and societal programming, habits that don’t serve you, ancestral patterns, and suppressed emotions, just to name a few.

Basically, the less baggage both you and your partner bring into the relationship, the better.

Before meeting Kumar, I was anti-relationship, believe it or not.

I watched my parent’s marriage crumble to the ground, and when they got divorced, I celebrated. I breathed a sigh of relief that they both would be free of the pain they were inflicting upon one another. My mother refused to take responsibility for her part, blamed my father for every wrongdoing, and sought vengeance until the day he left this physical world. Despite my father taking responsibility for his part, he still lost everything in the divorce: his wealth, his health, my siblings, and even his soul.

That’s when I made a promise to myself that I would not repeat this toxic relationship cycle.

They say relationships take work. I beg to differ.

When you work on yourself, relationships become easy.

By the time I had met Kumar in 2011, I had spent the past 5 years healing my relationship with myself. I had reached a point where I was utterly happy being with me, even if that meant I’d be single until I was 40 or 50 years old.

I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but I was open to one if and when it showed up.

My list of what I desired in a potential partner was nearly a mile long. I was picky… damn picky.

Because let’s be real… why would I commit to someone who doesn’t match my list 100% or settle for less simply because of pressure from family, friends, society, or my biological clock?

Oh, and trust me, a lot of family members asked me over the years when I’m going to get married and have kids… the typical mumbo jumbo!

(My friends knew me better… they’d ask me what flavor of the week was piquing my interest. HA!)

But in all honesty, Kumar checked off every last item on that list… and then added to it!

I never used to believe in the saying, When you know, you know.

Boy did I know… it was instantaneous upon meeting. And that’s when I changed the sign on my heart from closed to open.

That’s right – I had never given my heart to anyone to break it.

But don’t let the lack of heartbreak or past relationship baggage fool you – I still had my fair share of personal baggage that I had to work through to be able to show up and recognize the amazing man sitting in front of me in that coffee shop on our first date.

I can honestly say that if I hadn’t invested in my own growth and healing (and I spent thousands of dollars on seminars, retreats, healing sessions, coaches, and certifications), I would have either missed this opportunity or I would have destroyed it with my baggage.

I can also honestly say that if Kumar didn’t practice what he preaches in this book, we wouldn’t be here today, 10 years later, more in love now than then, AND HAPPY.

(My grandparents were married for 70 years, but the number doesn’t mean a thing. They were miserable together.)

Hence why I can’t recommend this book enough for anyone and everyone. Whether you’re single, divorced, widowed, or partnered, there’s a little golden nugget of wisdom in here for you.

The advice, tools and practices that Kumar writes about WORK.

What doesn’t work is our instant gratification programming.

We live in a society where you can get whatever you want with the click of a button or the swipe of a finger.

We have become wired to throw away as quick as we get because well, the grass is greener on the other side, right?

But real life doesn’t work like that… and relationships DEFINITELY don’t work like that.

Our sole (and soul) purpose here is to learn, grow, heal and evolve, even in our relationships.

Every experience, no matter how good, bad or ugly, is an opportunity to learn, grow, heal and evolve.

Trust me, I know this one extremely well. I used to hate confrontation and conflict, but Kumar shifted my point of view to look at every speedbump or roadblock as an opportunity to learn, grow, heal and evolve.

The more we can learn to not avoid the struggle and simply enjoy the journey, the happier we’ll be in all areas of our life.

In my opinion, this book is needed today more than ever before with the current global status. My hope is that you will read this book with an open mind and take a good long look at yourself in the mirror so you can see what you need to heal in order to create and have the relationship you deserve.

All My Love,

Dr. Shelly Persad

INTRODUCTION

The Birth of Lemon Moon

Believe it or not, this book is more than ten years in the making.

With the current relationship epidemic, the world needs to have this information. Granted, publishing this book 10 years ago would’ve helped many relationships, but what can I say? I have been busy living and loving life and all of the wonderful journeys and adventures that my amazing wife and I have been blessed to share together.

Lemon Moon was born in an airport in Phoenix while sitting and waiting for my flight with my soon to be 2nd ex-wife, a close friend who was with us on our honeymoon, and her new boyfriend. We were heading to Hawaii to have a last hoorah before going our separate ways. Yes, you heard right, I was going on vacation with my soon to be ex-wife after we agreed that a divorce was best for us. I know this sounds insane but it got me on this journey and the birth of this book. As we were sitting there early in the morning waiting for our six hour flight to take our last vacation together, knowing that on our return we would be going our separate ways, I jokingly said to the group, Well most people go on a honeymoon to start their new life together, but I have to be different and end our existing life together having fun, so I guess you could say this is a Lemon Moon instead of a honeymoon!

And boom, the idea was born.

My friends who were going with us thought I was nuts when I proposed the idea to them. My friend Andi and her ex-boyfriend had been with us when we got married on a cruise boat and proceeded to stay with us as we honeymooned a year earlier through the Mexican Riviera, and now here she was going with her new boyfriend on our Lemon Moon. When I had approached her to go on vacation with us, she looked at me strangely because she knew we were about to separate and eventually divorce. She questioned why we were going on vacation together and why did we want to invite her and her new boyfriend on what might be a drama filled week in Hawaii. I had to sit her down and explain that I did not hate my soon to be ex-wife Shana. I still loved her, it’s just that we could not live together and I needed to let her go find what she is looking for, so what better way to do it than to go have a great time for a week and create some amazing memories that we all could have for the rest of our lives? After some convincing, she decided, hell, why not? At least her and her new boyfriend would get a week in Hawaii out of it. And the decision was made to head to Hawaii for one week of fun and enjoyment to celebrate new lives, new relationships, and new beginnings.

Needless to say, we had an amazing time. We laughed, joked, explored, had amazing sex with my soon to be ex, and everywhere we went people thought we were on honeymoon. We were all sitting for dinner one night at a local spot in Maui and the waiter ended up striking up a conversation and asked my friend Andi if she and her boyfriend were here on honeymoon as well since he automatically assumed that Shana and I were on honeymoon. Andi had to tell him that we weren’t on honeymoon and we were actually making a final vacation before going back to the mainland and getting divorced. I will never forget the shocked look of disbelief on his face. According to him, most honeymooners didn’t look as happy nor as intimate as Shana and I were. He kept telling us we were pulling his leg until we had to convince him that it was true. He had never heard of such a thing and walked away shaking his head.

A week later we were back on the mainland and making final arrangements to get Shana moved to the Pacific Northwest where we found an apartment for her. I rented a truck, loaded it up with all of her stuff, gave her some of my stuff so she could have a good start, and drove her to her new life. I stayed with her for two days helping her shop for the place, got her settled in, gave her a hug and a kiss, and said goodbye. I told her I loved her and drove away, never to see her again. Then drove back by myself to Phoenix, processing all my disappointment and feelings of failure…and that was the beginning of a book on separation and a healthier way to handle it.

So Why the Book?

At the time of my divorce, I found myself without any real resources to deal with the failure that I took personally, especially being a successful relationship coach. Counseling could not help me because all it was going to do was give me the freedom to pay someone to listen to me and my side of the story and work through forgiveness and moving on. It would not give me any tools to leave the relationship in a healthy state of mind, nor would it give me tools to ensure that the next time I actually lay out a structure to follow to ensure that I took all preparations to achieve success in future relationships. No offense against counselors but they can only work with what you tell them, and we know most people love to paint themselves in an amazing light and don’t want criticism or judgment.

As I had mentioned before, I had been married before and divorced for seven years before meeting Shana. I enjoyed single life for those seven years and had reached the point in my single loving life where I felt the need to settle down. I had been in a couple relationships that ended badly for one reason or the other and hated how it ended, so I swore to myself that my next serious relationship I would do everything in my power to make it work, and if it didn’t work, then I would absolutely make sure that it ended well.

I mentioned before about being a relationship coach. About three years prior to getting involved with Shana, I had become a certified Life Coach and gravitated towards relationship coaching. I had worked with way too many clients (mostly women) who were either struggling to keep the relationship together or were carrying immense amounts of emotional baggage from past relationships and pain from how it ended. What I saw was that each time one of my clients went through a breakup, they added that new pain and sense of wrongdoing into their invisible emotional backpack and went into another relationship carrying all that pain and suffering, making their new love interest pay for everything that they perceived was done to them in past relationships.

So my goal is to give you some tips that I used to help me get back to a healthy frame of mind faster, and also to prepare myself for the possibilities of new relationships instead of giving up in frustration. I wanted to shed light into relationships and some of the things we can do as individuals to ensure we are better equipped emotionally and mentally to step forward without pain and baggage and welcome new love interests. My new motto is to walk into love instead of falling into love.

My story and how the fairytale ended in a Lemon Moon:

I was born on a little island in the Caribbean as the last child of eight to a poor sugarcane farming family. I came to Canada when I was seventeen, looking to build a new life and not wanting to follow generations of sugarcane farming. Today I hold citizenship to both Canada and the US and permanent residency in Mexico. I worked in corporate America for over twenty years, and had the pleasure of traveling all over the United States, Canada and the Caribbean (my original home). I was pretty much in a different city every week so having a long-term relationship was tough. Besides, I was enjoying single life and meeting new people too much to settle down. After several years and several hundred amorous adventures,