On Grief and Reentry

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My 10-year-old will receive her second COVID-19 shot today. She should have its full protection two weeks from now. While I continue to take precautions, I’ve been gradually widening my circle, going on more outings, making plans I wouldn’t have a year ago, holding dates for 2022 events. There isn’t a perfect way to describe this in-between state, which feels as far from sheltering in place as it does from any pre- or post-pandemic reality—it could be the turning point I hoped for, or it could be the lull before an Omicron wave. Still, with the final member of my family vaccinated at last, the possibility of normalcy—or something nearer to it, at least—has started to flicker at the edges of my vision.

I thought I would be elated to reach this point. Certainly (despite new variant worries), I feel grateful. But I am also conscious of a new and unexpected anxiety, as I’m learning just how hard it is to imagine