Shaggy's Journal: A Wonder Story

By Sagnik Seth

This accounts the diary entries of Shaggy, a troubled teenager, from 1st January to 1st July.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sagnik Seth
• Release date: May 7, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370257072

Book preview

//January//

January 1st (the New Year Day!!)

Woke up at 11 AM. Found everybody else asleep in their rooms. Getting out of the room to the refrigerator to have some water, I found a sticky note on the fridge’s metal skin.

Dear shaggy, today, as you know, is the New Year, we would request you to let us sleep until we wake up. We know you would wake up earlier than us so we request you to please prepare some good recipes. If you can’t, you may order some food from a special restaurant and pay for it and when we say you pay for it, we mean you pay for it, we will not pay.

.

This very thought made me wide awake. This one is surely the plan of my family to make me do all the work and that too in the New Year. And, why should they get extra sleep?

Decided to start my work. First work of the day always remained to be the cleaning of Magpie’s (our pet dog) poop and if any day I forget to carry out the same, he would dirty his entire kennel. To prevent such dirtiness, I have to reluctantly accept Destiny.

I think I have introduced myself much and this is the time to get the presents ready. Yeah! I have to wrap the New Year gifts for my family after cleaning the poop. I have thought to gift:-

Father: a nice comb (although he is half-bald)

Mother: a set of cosmetics (which would be great to conceal her hideous face).

Aunt: a pack of DVD all soap-operas she likes.

Uncle: a leather wallet

Magpie: nothing! (Will a dog understand the value of a gift?)

Grandpa and grandma (who will come today): a set of false-teeth each

Wore my gloves and picked up the comfortable dog’s uncomfortable poop. After that, I have to cook for evening’s party as per family tradition. What I thought to prepare were a simple cake and small fish chops but then two thoughts came: Grandma has diabetes and Grandpa is a pure-vegetarian. So, I have to prepare something else for them. I decided to make potato crackers and soup with lots of veggies in them. While working I simply thought only one thing My Family Is Using Me. Thus I laid a trap of emotional blackmailing:

During lunch, I planned to cry and cry until my family gets an idea of my situation and eventually hire a maid. If that is not sufficient, I will eventually talk about suicide.

My family came out from their rooms at approximately 3 pm to eat lunch (They are late lunch-eaters). I fell down on my knees and started acting, Please, Papa, Mama, I am becoming very weak. If I do not stop working, you will eventually have to suffer the loss of your only child. Please, please, hire a maid

Darling, I think we will have to see the doctor. Our son was not so bad. We may consult a psychiatrist

Bu-but I stuttered.

You were acting! I knew this.

I stood low-headed hearing a long lecture for fifteen minutes.

7 pm: Grandparents came. I thought they will present me a gift but they came empty-handed. When I said Granddad, I would be quite happy if somebody gives me a gift, he replied Surely! and handed me a three-rupee candy from his pocket.

January, 2nd

Today, our school reopened after the winter vacation.

Today we had the Yoga test. I am basically weak at it, being a little overweight. I would have flunked the test if our yoga instructor, Ronnie Sir, had not been absent due to an acute stomach ache. That means we would not have our test! However, this thought only remained for a few seconds because our Principal, Ruth Sir arranged for a substitute yoga instructor who eventually came to be our English teacher, Mrs Pram. She had only been instructed on yoga for two weeks during her twenties and the janitor had once told that she was suspended for a month when she started teaching Yoga in her English class during the 1990s. Henceforth, it is said that she never performed any other yoga antics.

Now, Mrs Pram, being the substitute teacher, was beneficial because she must have forgotten most of the ancient skills. Everybody did the wrong posture and was miraculously given A+. My turn finally came and I have to perform any posture I like. I chose Usthasana which was my biggest folly because next, I noticed that Mrs Pram remembered the posture very well. She narrated a story to me on how she remembered no other pose but this:

"It was in February 1985 that I met Mr Pram in a Yoga class when we were both asked to do Usthasana. I performed the posture but he fractured his femur and needed to be hospitalized. I looked after all his needs in the hospital, he being an orphan, and it was on the bed of Cabin 432 that we shared our first kiss.

And then back in 2005, when we both were going to perform the same posture on account of a Yoga-Campaign, I was framed by the Host to have been added sleeping pills in Mr Pram’s tea due to which the latter couldn’t perform the act. Unfortunately, he also believed the allegations and this drifted us apart. So, our marital life started with Usthasana and ended with the same. And now, you get a C- for doing it wrong."

This was the story on how I got a C- which means neither had I passed with glory nor failed with grief.

My BFF, Mayo had flunked the test but is actually very happy (why I don’t know).

Went back home and showed Father and Mother the report. Naturally, they acted modestly and boasted that they were an expert on yoga and had got many gold medals (I practically had never seen the medals, although.)

I think today a check will arrive for me from my student’s family (Actually, to earn some extra money, I tutor primary-class children). It did come but accompanied by a letter.

Dear Shaggy Sir,

We Have Decided To Fire You And Appoint A New Tutor. From This Month, You Will Not Have To Come To My House To Teach Me Because The Things You Teach Me Are Wrong. We Are Sending You A Check Of Rs.1000 (Which Is Your Fees For The Month).

Thank you, Yours Faithful Prateek

I thought it would look bad if I do not write a letter back to Prateek. So I decided to write the letter and posted it today itself.

Dear Prateek,

It Was Very Inhuman Of You To Fire Me But I Think That You Were Right That I Was Wrongly Educating You. Instead, I Have Another Idea. What About Giving Another Check Of Rs.1000?

From Your Shaggy Sir.

I went to sleep but then in the middle of the night, something woke me up. It was insomnia.

January, 3rd

Woke up with drowsiness.

Today Ronnie Sir came and saw our reports. Almost everybody, except Mayo and another boy, Arnold, has passed the test. I was so astonished that instead of scolding those who have flunked, Sir admonished those who had done miserably but not failed (like me!). Every time I met him in the corridor or in the washroom or in the ground or in the library or somewhere else, he would try to eat my head by continuously telling, If you do not work hard, you would never get a job (suppose yoga was needed to get a good job!)

When in the Art room today, he crossed the limits by telling, Come and meet me after school and we will have an extra yoga class

I thought of slapping him but there was CCTV all around the school and I do not want to add a criminal record against my name. So I spared him.

While at class, I asked Mayo, Are you going to the extra yoga class?

What rubbish are you saying? There is an extra yoga class?

Then I asked my classmate, Tommy, who has got C- and he told me that as soon as the last period gets over, he would quickly run to the changing room to change into his yoga dress. I then understood that those who have flunked are relieved from the extra-class while those who have neither achieved good grades nor have flunked the test are there to bear the ‘torture’.

Basically, the extra-class was something I like because, at the end of the class, we were given some candies as a token of appreciation.

The yoga class was extremely interesting. First of all, Ronnie Sir fell asleep while showing us a particular stunt. Then someone glued a chewing gum to his hair. When Sir woke up, he scratched his