Milk Magic

By Mikka Blane

In a world where magic is possible ever since a magical dimension was Shattered into ours, Erin is slowly killing himself.

He works for a small, semi-illicit company that helps out their clients with magical problems and security. He also believes that he is a murder, and is drinking himself to death over it.

During one mission there is a fire and a warehouse burns to the ground, but something starts happening to him. He starts changing... into a woman and more so, into something not Human!

He is taken by surprise when his body changes, but more so, when his milk lets down... and doesn't stop. Daily!

Now he is caught up, living day to day, trying to figure out what happened to him, what is happening to their warehouses, dealing with his changes, and needing to be milked.

As each day passes, her body changes, with new instincts, problems, and perhaps even a few solutions. Still, each day her milk needs pumping.

Old loves, old mysteries, and new ones surface, and Erin is caught in the middle of trying to find out who he was, and who she is now. He's living a life of milk, magic, and mysteries.

Moo!

-Milk Magic #1

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mikka Blane
• Release date: Apr 4, 2018
• ISBN: 9781370247578

Book preview

Section 1: Days of… Change

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Chapter 01: day 01: the warehouse

It was Wednesday, and the year was 22. At least the year numbers got smaller and easier to remember after the Shattering occurred. It was then that we started counting years after it by singular digits to celebrate surviving each year.

Ah well, another day another dollar. I downed another drink from my flask as I sat in the van with the rest of the team.

Paul said, as he put the van in park, This is it, Erin.

The alarm had gone off at Warehouse 412, fifteen minutes ago.

Park us over there. I pointed, it was about a hundred yards from the warehouse.

After he parked us, I pushed open my door and got out to get a better feel of the place. After me, Paul and Carrie stepped out of the driver and passenger doors, respectively. They wouldn’t let me drive even being the official head of this team… something about my alcoholism.

They were both in their young twenties, so had better reaction speeds while driving than I anyhow. If I had a choice, and I did, I’d rather drink than drive!

I looked at Paul’s phone as he brought up the Company’s page on this warehouse. It was officially supposed to be, over the counter medical supplies and shelf stable foodstuffs.

Of course, since ‘The Company’ often worked with the mob, this warehouse really probably held semi-legal drugs and the food stuffs and medicines that would hide the scent from sniffers. Not that I would know, it was better to not know, and I was too drunk to care anyhow.

Our forth still wasn’t here, Russell. He was on his way from home as he was a family man and he’d been there with them when the call came in.

I would be all for barging in there, but the magical wards had been breached, which is why they called us, and why I figured we should wait.

I was on borrowed time as I was owned by the Company, but Carrie and Paul were young. I might not care about myself anymore, but I couldn’t get them killed needlessly. I really didn’t know why they were working here, for The Company, but I doubted they’d done what I did to get blackmailed, killing an innocent.

I tried to teach them what I could when I was lucid enough to remember to.

Magic was fickle in large amounts, and it came and went as it wanted, the trick was to be gentle and subtle with it. Which most people weren’t and bad things happened.

No one knows how the Shattering came about, whether it was something like supercolliders in our Universe, or something weirder in theirs, or even if it was a natural event. It did though, and when the magic poured into our world as both existences merged together, it was devastating to both.

Luckily they didn’t have large cities where we had them, sure the terrain was the same, but technology had let us build up areas faster and more thoroughly with metal and cement.

That was harder on them than us in that regards, the rest of it not. They got our cities planted on their towns, we got Dragons flying in our skies and Ogres suddenly appearing and eating our people.

Carrie asked, So boss, what are we going to do?

Russell still wasn’t here so I said, We wait.

The number of people in our group was important. We had enough, but more was better.

Paul sighed, Fuck, I’m bored already!

Carrie laughed, Baby! You’re always bored!

Paul shook his head and pulled some power. I could almost see the outline of the small orb forming before it did so. He pulled it forth and gave it form, making a small glowing orb appear in his hand. It shown with a magical light from its surface. It was a simple trick, and the simpler the better with magic. It was useful enough too, as an orb of light could be used or changed into many things quickly enough to be very useful.

Then I noticed an odd feeling coming from the warehouse.

I asked, You feel that?

Carrie sighed, What’s that, old-man?

Paul said, He asked, if ‘you felt that’.

Felt what?

Exactly, Paul said and they laughed.

Magic wasn’t something you felt externally, you understand. Everyone felt it differently too, like people felt stress differently in their bodies. My stress went to my shoulders, but I felt the pressure of potential building from the warehouse in my balls.

It had always been that way with me. It had always been embarrassing.

The pressure was odd, very odd and sort of painful, yet pleasureful. I wasn’t sure if I was a masochist or if magic was just weird that way. Life was, so why not magic.

My mind paused for a second, for me, to dull the pain of my memories. It was a doozy of one too, yet still I never remembered the fatal event that got me working for The Company. I pushed that away easily enough in my alcohol fueled haze.

A few things had changed in my environment when I looked up from my fugue. Carrie and Paul were playing catch with the small lit orb. She was a ways down the alleyway and Paul was edging that way too. It was like they were inching closer to the warehouse with each throw.

I hissed, I said, we need to wait back here till Russell arrives.

We have three people, old-man, so we’re enough for demons and mind control, come on!

Yeah, stop being a wuss!

My testicles ached then. Magic. Something was coming, I could feel the power hanging in the air like a weight about to fall. They didn’t feel that?

I smiled and just said, Get the stuff from the van then.

Carrie whooped and ran back to the van. Which gave me the opportunity to step between them and the potential incoming blast.

I pulled up power, half hoping it wouldn’t come this time and the blast-wave would end me. My lower belly tingled from the power though and so I put up all the shields I could manage before what was coming hit us.

I threw up one for the pressure wave, one for fire and one that would redirect the force. I heard a mewling of a small animal, seeing a black cat running with a similarly colored kitten in her mouth towards us, but too far forward in front of my shields to be protected by them. Crap!

Paul must have noticed I was building something here, desperately and I felt him pulling power behind me. His pulling made me shudder from the feelings crawling up my inner thighs. Magic always felt like a sexual force to me, and it wasn’t always pleasant to feel that stuff on the job. Not to another man’s casting either. I’d work alone if it wasn’t for the demons and mind-control magic that could catch a single, or duo, of people unawares.

I noted that I had already taken a step forward, as I had shied from those homophobic feelings, even unconsciously.

I threw up another webbing of power for the shields, pulling and building another set here as Paul built up some behind me.

The warehouse exploded in a wave of magic power, a pure chemical explosion wouldn’t have given me the same advanced warning. Not that I used it wisely, I was trying to put up a second set of shields for a stray cat that no one cared about.

It was a fucking weakness. I was a monster, a murderer, and supporting the mob, so there had to be no room left in my heart and soul to care for small and cute, furry animals. What was I doing?

The black cat didn’t even glance my way as the power blasted into my shields. I felt the power leaking through it as I was thrown back into the set I had first weaved, which was now behind me. The cat didn’t even look back at me as she ran down the side-alleyway with her kitten.

I was alive, apparently. Though the shield in front of me felt weakened and porous. which made sense, as I was distracted, and I hadn’t taken the proper time to fortify the power into the shape I required. I shook myself off, as it felt like I was covered in dust.

The warehouse was on fire, with the smoke flowing downwind, so nearby but not directly towards us. I hadn’t parked us perfectly downwind or upwind, no sense in warning possible foes. I also hadn’t parked up up-magical wind. I was drunk, not stupid.

I wiped at my shoulder again, wiping off… nothing. I wasn’t covered in ash or dust like it felt. Hrm. Was there ash anywhere around me either?

Paul and Carrie looked fine behind my rear shield. Paul had reinforced it with his own power, and it only looked slightly shocked.

Carrie shook her head, did it hit her? No, she was looking at me like I was an idiot. Paul ran over to me, as I stood up.

What the hell Erin? Dude! He sighed, Why didn’t you say you felt an explosion coming?

I looked back at him with my best, ‘are you an idiot’ look as well.

I had said… oh, fuck, it didn’t matter. It didn’t kill them which was good, It didn’t kill me, which was too bad, so I pulled out my flask for a sip to calm my half disappointment and destroy another bit of my liver.

Carrie gasped, You could have been killed!

Not really. Well, maybe, but I had a shield up so it was unlikely, the universe wasn’t that kind and karma didn’t seem to be working or I would be.

He asked, Can we go in now?

I again looked at Paul like he was an idiot. He was acting like one.

What?

I sighed, The building’s on fire, and you do not want to breathe what is burning in there.

Oh? You sure? Not all of us have only one vice.

Carrie laughed, Yeah, but not one we embrace like it’s air.

I shrugged, and they smiled at each other. I didn’t care what they thought, as I was too drunk to, and I already thought worse things about myself. There was nothing I wanted to do now more than wander off by myself, but in this part of the city it would be foolhardy, and they’d insist on following.

Paul asked, Can we meet with the fire control people, since it is our building.

I again, had to look at him like he was crazy.

Carrie laughed, Paul, really?

What? He asked, They might find something out about what happened, or details about who or what broke in!

Sure go on, if you want the cops to know who to talk to directly about the warehouse’s ‘unique’ contents, sure.

He sighed, Whatever. Assholes.

Indeed.

We got back in the van and headed to our next job. Which involved Paul and Carrie covertly sending their little orbs, now dim of light, around the nightclub, to check security.

I drank, at least until last weeks pay was gone and I was almost unconscious.

Somehow I ended up home.

I don’t remember how I got there. Luckily I was a rather calm drunk. Or so I was told.

I went through the apartment building’s front door security device, and wobbled to the elevator and the button, passing by it as I stumbled up the stairs instead, like always. I was a bit of a technophobe I guess.

It wasn’t the best of places, but like that mattered for a man like me. I had moved since I’d worked for the Agency and my old friends and life. But it was times like this that reminded me I wasn’t coming home to anyone anymore.

I stumbled up them to my own door and inside my little place. I stumbled over the piles of old clothes in the hallway to the bathroom. I remembered to lock it behind me, I think, and peed, mostly in the toilet.

I picked up the gun like I always did on nights like this. I don’t know why I still had it, except that it had been my father’s. You don’t bring a gun to a magic fight, no way. Gunpowder was too explosive to magical power, and bullets too easy to shield from.

The man in the mirror almost looked like a washed up bum, and definitely looked like an aging alcoholic.

When he was younger he’d had muddy brown hair to go with those light brown eyes. Now his hair was peppered and looked oily.

A thick chin and angular features had actually served him well in life, especially being a magician and everyone always loved the ‘classic’ wizard look on him. My face actually looked older than I pictured it in my head. I had thick eyebrows and my angular face shape had gone particularly gaunt, especially since i started drinking after my breakup. My eyelashes were still almost non-existent as my chin and my Adams apple were prominent.

There was a gray line of hair, from just above my ears to the back, lost somewhere in the unkempt tangles. That discoloration was from an incident with a badass demon and back in my days with the Agency.

The Agency… I’d joined up a few years after high-school, after I’d done my traveling.

I’d done well there too, learned so much, gotten promoted, and finally became the Head of Silver team at the age of twenty-five, just two years after I joined that named and prestigious team.

Then I met her. The fresh and powerful, twenty year old Hannah Teresa Smith, She was a 5'8" blonde haired, brown eyed, bright and beautiful Human woman. It was a half year after my promotion and soon we were dating.

Two years and a great amount of successes later, she turned my proposal down. She’d said, she needed more time. That was fine… and somehow we were still doing okay after that devastation to my ego. Yet, then, I started to wonder what I was doing wrong as my friends and teammates started to talk to her more than I.

Then she dumped me, saying she needed space. I was thirty then, and too old for the weakness, but it still hit me hard.

Then she moved in with Tad.

I had gotten so depressed and had no one around me… my parents and known relatives had died long ago. I was an only child. I had no one. I turned to drinking, and then that night happened, that one night where my life became cursed. I took the life of some hooker I don’t know if I remember flagging down, or paying, or doing, or killing. It was blurry, there were small things I remembered… but much of that night I didn’t.

She was kept downstairs in The Company’s freezer, in case I ever decided to leave their employment. The police hadn’t seen her dead body, but I had, and I felt the energy from her wounds. They were magic, they felt familiar, like me. I didn’t have a twin either. It had to be me.

I heard some noises around me in the real world, in the now. It was only conversations and movements from other apartments in this paper thin building. I put the gun down. I always did.

I knew what would happen if I pulled the trigger—something bad.

I’d miss or just nick myself, and end up killing someone else. One innocent person was enough. I wouldn’t mind kicking some guilty ass, but at this point, the people I worked for were as bad as anyone.

* * *

Chapter 02: day 02: the morning after

I sniffled as I woke up. Then I bolted upright as I choked on something that stuck to my nose! Then I fell out of bed and fell into a pile of clothes.

I felt dirty and sweaty. It must have been another long night of drinking for me. I had slept in my clothes too? Yep. Oh well.

I sniffed in, and smelt a very musky smell. Yep, that was probably from my dirty laundry. As if I did any ever anyhow anymore. I pushed away a basketball I had there, it rolled to the far side of the room. I hadn’t played in… years. I sighed and stood up to yawn, and try to decide how late I was to work already.

The clock read 9:50am, yep I was late. I looked down at my groin, at least there wasn’t a stain there today. I felt dirty and I shook myself off, like a dog would, and gave myself a good dizzy spell.

I looked at the bathroom and decided, yeah, I had to go before I left the apartment. It was a long walk and they didn’t trust me to drive. Luckily it was only about four blocks away. I threw off my shirt to let it air dry and peed. Oh, I had missed the pot again last night. That’s too bad. I wish I had a maid. I wish I cared, at all. I still felt… dirty too.

It wasn’t my normal dirty either, it was an odd… powdery dirt, like I was covered in pollen or dust. But I wasn’t!

I washed my face and used my finger to rub toothpaste over my teeth. Oh, I was getting fatter. I sort of had man-boobs. How disturbing. Not that I’d been very muscular since my 20’s.

I leaned down and washed my hair in the sink. It felt a bit fuller or stickier to run my fingers through, which was just odd. Again, I still felt a bit… dirty. Like there was a layer of dust on me, even to my recently washed face. Whatever. I threw on a shirt that didn’t look too messed up and walked out of the door.

The world outside was too bright and I had forgotten my shades again. I shielded my eyes to the morning sun and tried not to bang into too many people. Well, maybe elbow a few, but I kept moving when they grunted in anger.

Which was perversely funny, but dumb, I know. I sometimes wondered if I was trying to tempt one of them to do something I wouldn’t regret. I really think that I wanted to get hurt. I wanted to feel pain. I would deserve it.

I got to the office and nodded at the tiny Asian woman behind the counter. Her name was Ann Cho, and she always seemed to be here. Not that I stayed late or got in early though. She looked me over suspiciously.

My balls ached so I knew she was packing power where I couldn’t see it. I had no idea what it was though, fire, ice, who knows. Perhaps it was just a scanning spell, but I doubted it would be just that, knowing my employers. I don’t care why she didn’t like me and never said anything to me either. I really didn’t, she said hi to everyone else though.

She beeped me through and the door audibly unlocked.

The offices back here were old looking, with the muted yellows and brown colors, plastic chairs and faux wood desks. It reminded me of old cop shows from even decades before the Shattering.

I threw myself into my chair and sighed as it squeaked with a loud pitched noise that was like spikes in my head. I put my head down, great, everyone had to now know I was here. Late. But, it was still too early for this crap.

I heard my name called, yep, they knew I was here and it was too early to be yelled at.

Erin!

I sighed and picked up my head. A piece of paper was stuck to my nose. Wonderful. I considered leaving it there. It’s not like anyone cared, or thought of me as anything desirable. So why bother?

I pulled it off anyhow, wiped my nose with it and then looked to see it was just a page from some report I needed to fill out, so I put it back on the stack.

Sir, but… you had to see him! He pushed in front of us and started building this intricate shield, way before the pressure wave hit us!

Erin! Get in here!

Dad, holy crap, the layers…

Erin!

Paul still went on, I’m not sure if it was luck or what.

I poked my head around the corner, Boss?

Paul’s face was flushed and he seemed energetic today. It was too much and I sighed as I looked to Adan Grimes, one of the brothers that ran this part of The Company and owned me.

He looked as flushed, but angry. Erin!

Boss? I said, with a dopey look.

He yelled something, I was only half paying attention to. He’d get over it. If he was going to fire me, well, he’d probably just kill me. So, what was he going to do? Pay me less?

He turned to his son and said, Don’t take Erin’s suicidal tendencies to be heroism. That’s not him at all.

I smirked. True that.

Adan and Paul, as well as Adan’s brother in crime, Saul, all had black eyes and black hair, and were tall. With Paul being 6’0", and the shortest of them and still having 2 inches on me.

Paul shook his head, I’m just saying dad, that he’s wasting his potential. Sober he’d be a force to be reckoned with.

Yes, but he’s damaged goods now son, isn’t he, Saul.

Saul was here?

Adan’s desk chair spun around, and I saw Saul. The other brother in charge. He was the darker of the brothers, and if they were going to off me, he’d be the one enjoying it.

He said, He looks like an alcoholic bum that we’ve got on the payroll for some reason.

I leaned against the doorjamb, no point in giving them any other vision of me. That’s what I was now. That’s what I was destined to be.

Paul said, Then why make him the leader of ‘The Edge’ dad, and for a few years now?

Paul was in the good position to be able to speak to the brothers like they were people, not creatures of evil that could just eat you up. in a figurative way, of course… well probably. They were both very powerful though, I didn’t want to fight either. Both? No way.

Saul said, I don’t know why you did that, Adan. Nor why you put your own son in it with him, as he has been literally on the edge for years now.

Paul began to speak up.

Adan waved his hand at his son, to back off. Paul. Do not do this. He doesn’t need you protecting him.

Paul sighed.

Saul asked, What caused the explosion, Erin?

I don’t know.

Any ideas?

I shrugged, Nope.

I told you, useless.

Erin, go write your reports.

Yep, even in my mob job, I had to fill out reports.

I gave them a sloppy salute. I wonder if Paul knew why I was here, what I’d done? He was a mobster, so would it matter to him? I had no idea. I didn’t keep track of my team mates, more than trying to keep them alive out there, which didn’t always happen, but it was part of… what a team was for. Or something. I don’t know why I did it anymore actually.

I remember joining the Agency when I was 23 and put on the Silver Team, then it was what we did. I’d been there for five years, working on various Agency teams. It wasn’t until I was 25 when I became the head of that team and met Hannah. We’d had a few great years. We’d played it safe, all the time, as The Agency wasn’t known for taking risks, not like here.

Paul sort of reminded me of a new recruit, Sammy. Before he joined up, he’d been wide eyed and innocent, until he saw a family get ripped to shreds by Trolls. They were a family in our paid protection ring. We’d gotten there too late. Actually, Hannah had been to blame for that, for some reason she was out of the office and not available for ten minutes. I’d taken the fall, of course, as she’d been my girl then. After he joined he’d been still innocent in ways, but so full of anger and the desire to use pure power to blow away obstacles.

Holy hell man! What is that smell? Mick shouted, waking me from my happy daydream of Hannah and her pixie cut blonde hair.

Mick was wearing his usual cowboy boots and hat, he was a blue eyed, blond haired guy, and everyone liked him. If I wasn’t so drunk, I might care. I think he worked here as… no, I didn’t know what he did. He was always in the office though.

I looked up and saw Carrie standing next to him. Carrie had coughed and was holding her nose.

I shrugged, What?

Carrie gasped, Erin! You stink!

Hrm?

You need a shower, dear.

I sighed. I didn’t want to. It was such a bother!

Carrie said, Erin, shower, now.

Fine.

I got up and shuffled down the hallway to the gym area.

How do you work with that man?

He’s… got issues, but he’s got a big heart.

I did not. I was a horrible evil person, working for a bad organization, but then again, they were too. Not that I knew why they were.

I threw myself in the shower. I felt cleaner all of a sudden. I hadn’t felt dirty before, but then again, it was normal for me now.

I did hate taking showers at work, but I didn’t care enough to use mine at home. There was a gym here, for those that liked to keep their bodies in proper order and what not. I hadn’t in a while, and it actually looked like I was getting even fatter than I remembered. I washed up, feeling cleaner actually, which was new. I guess I’d been really stanky before.

I threw on a shirt I had here for emergencies, it was too small, and now felt even tighter. It was cleaner than anything else I had though. My spare jeans would have to do as well.

I walked back to my desk, passing Carrie, who nodded, so I sat down to look at the reports on the previous night’s incident.

The police’s reports were also on my desk. It looks like the warehouse’s contents all burned to the ground. The fire department couldn’t let the fire spread, but they could be paid to not leave anything behind for the cops to find of an incriminating nature.

I heard Carrie say, I told you before, he went through some bad shit.

The man’s a mess, has been ever since I got here, why do they keep him?

If she and Mark were talking about me, I didn’t know the answer either. I didn’t know why they wanted me after I washed out of the Agency, nor why after the hooker incident, but they were criminals and they had their own wants and needs. I had skills, I guess that they needed.

After the Shattering and all the slaughtering of us helpless Humans, we found out that we too could do these new things the invaders to our universe were doing.

I for one, at the tender age of 16 somehow burned an Ogre to ash using my anger and this new power that could only be described as magic. Our lives had gotten a bit back on track the following few years and life had almost returned to normal. The creatures from the other dimension seemed confused as to how the Shattering had happened as well.

It had been one year after I graduated high school, when Dragons razed half a dozen cities, and took over Florida, which had been their ancestral roosting and birthing area in their universe.

* * *

Chapter 03: day 03: facial

I woke up, as I was falling out of my bed, again. I gasped as I fell on my stomach, with my nose in an old shoe. That stunk!

I sighed and stood up, without as much huffing as expected. I had apparently fallen asleep with a bottle of Jack dribbling off the side of my mattress onto a pile of clothes at the head of my bed. It hadn’t been much, and I licked the bottle top of the few drops that were left.

I heard a snort at my door and turned to see some skinny, old man shuffling past my door. I looked down. Well then. I had also apparently fallen asleep naked, with the door open. Whatever I guess.

I wiped at something on my face with my inner elbow and closed and locked the door, even if too late. I wandered my apartment, searching. No one was hiding in the hallway closet, under my bed, in the closet in my bedroom, nor in the small kitchen I had. I went into the bathroom and pulled the shower curtain aside. Nothing. No one was hiding in here either.

I put toothpaste on my finger and ran it over my teeth and tongue to freshen my breath, my liquid meals would take care of any germs later.

My mouth looked a little puffy. Which was… odd. There was probably a pimple growing at the edge of my mouth causing it, so nothing to worry about.

The water was also surprisingly warm and I washed up. Did I just buy new soap? This soap was silkier and smoother, it made my skin feel softer somehow. There was no wrapper on it, I’d probably never know. At least I’d be clean for my four block walk to work today, and I didn’t feel like I had dust all over me, like yesterday. Usually I didn’t feel it either, which was odd. I wonder if it had been dust from something in particular or just a weird feeling from my luckily almost numb body now.

The liquor was killing me but it was really helping keep the feelings from my groin from being as strong as they used to. My earliest memory of my groin feeling magic was when I was embarrassed in front of my friends as I came in my pants.

We’d thought we’d seen something in the forest behind school, so me and my three friends went wandering around the forest back there.

I had turned a corner and looked up to see a unicorn standing there. The pulse of magic from it was… overwhelming. It had been embarrassing, but I had understandably fallen in love with magic then.

Now, I doubt I would do that if a Dragon landed next to me. I also didn’t care if they worked in their normal way. I didn’t need them any more and had no desire left for a girl or anything, not even paid for. Women were shit. I was shit.

I put down the first shirt I picked up. It just didn’t feel soft enough. That was odd, but fuck it. I found a more worn, but softer shirt for today.

I walked to the office, getting there at ten am and on time.

There was nothing on the board that happened late last night for me to look at.

I sat at my desk and sorted through my paperwork. I even remembered my computer’s logon and pulled up warehouse 412’s log again. Painkillers, glue, cotton-balls, and then there were some assorted street drugs.

There had to be some contraband that wasn’t listed, as even if some of that was explosive, it wasn’t that explosive. Not really. Not like that. Not like we’d seen. The wave of pressure and magic was too much. What had been in that warehouse?

I don’t remember the rest of the day or the walk home.

* * *

Chapter 04: day 04: the voice

I woke up and rubbed my aching elbow and leg. I was laying on acrylic tiles? And I wasn’t laying flat. Where the heck was I? I looked around and recognized the place. I was in the stairwell. I laughed to myself as I picked myself up off the ground. I slept in the stairwell? What time was it?

I climbed the well to my floor and walked down the hallway to my apartment. My door wasn't locked, again? Did I lock it before I left? Did I come home last night and somehow leave to end up in the stairwell? I have no idea.

The skinny old man I had seen before was just going into his room across from mine. He had a short mange of white hair and was wearing what was either a shawl or just a sweater around his shoulders. He looked me over with a smirk and a huff, as he closed his door.

Okay then.

I checked every nook and cranny of my apartment after I went in and locked up.

I threw my dirty clothes on the floor and jumped in the shower. After some soap to all my bits, a bit more time than usual. Was it my skin, or this soap, that was feeling just so soft? Anyhow, I got out and cleared off the mirror from the fog of steam.

Huh. It looked like I didn’t need to shave this morning. Did I shave last night, late, for some reason?

I felt my neck and it felt soft enough that yep, I didn’t need to shave. Had I come home and shaved and then gone out to fall asleep in the stairwell? My neck looked thinner and my chin actually looked like it was losing some of its squareness. Did I lose weight? My chin was my best feature! Well, it was the one I most liked, at least it used to be. She’d liked it too.

I sighed. I guess I must not be drinking enough liquid meals. With her coming up in my thoughts again, it was time to double up on my drinking!

There was a bottle of Jack on the counter and I took a swig. My mouth still felt odd on the mouth of the bottle. I checked the mirror again. Yep, my lip was puffy, oddly I think my mouth shape was being altered by that hidden pimple. Stupid skin, still getting them at my advanced age of thirty-seven, it was probably my health really though.

I had been getting some gray hairs speckled throughout my hair since high school. But I was told that was just genetics, by my dad. That conversation felt like it was two lifetimes ago. The white strip from the demon attack was still noticeable, which meant that at least my hair wasn’t completely white and gray.

I didn’t feel all that sick today, which was different. I usually felt like even walking to work took all my energy. I almost even felt like I had a spring in my step today. It was odd to see a few people actually looking at me with a lack of annoyance.

Today I got to work with energy left. I opened my drawer and pulled out my flask to take a swig to begin the day as I sat and waited.

A call came in that we had to respond to and my team went to our lockers to get our field kits. The lockerroom here was different than the one I’d used back when I worked at the Agency. We didn’t put on standard uniforms with protection vests and standard weapons, like Agency issued cattle-prods. Here we used whatever we had bought, collected, or stolen, ourselves.

Paul changed his clothes completely, down to his underwear. Russell usually kept his underwear on, he had a wife who I guess didn’t mind washing his work clothes. Carrie stripped down to her bra and panties. I didn’t care, not like Paul did, as he stole glances.

I was too close to death to care about such things anymore. I turned back to my locker and pulled out the bottle there, drinking the almost tasteless liquid. Strangely I felt it burn as it went down my throat.

I looked at the label. It was just a cheap vodka, nothing special, I’d drunk from this bottle already a few days ago, there was about a quarter missing of it already. When though? But I didn’t remember it burning before. Was this a joke? I looked around. Carrie glared at me, she was still topless. It wasn’t my fault our lockers were single-sex.

She wasn’t smirking, nor was Paul or Russell. So it wasn’t a joke?

I had almost forgotten that I wasn’t here to just get another drink. I pulled off my jeans and shirt. The Company gave me clothes to wear out, as they didn’t trust what I’d bring in. which was smart of them.

Fucking gross. Carrie hissed at something.

I dropped my clothes in the locker and pulled on the khaki work slacks and blue polo shirt.

Paul hissed, Don’t you ever wash your clothes, dude?

I shrugged back and threw on my embroidered navy blue cloak, work boots and belt with all my work junk. My cloak was charred and had blood stains over it. It was fine, we were ‘The Edge’, if they called us I knew there could be more on it at the end of the day.

I looked around. Russell had his gear on, his almost completely leather outfit. Carrie had leather on as well, but a skin tight black outfit that almost made my member think about redirecting some blood flow its way. But meh.

Paul was in something resembling my outfit, but clean, so he looked like he was going for a real working-casual look, with a polo and nice shoes.

Let’s go, gang, I ordered.

Huh. My voice broke. That was odd. I cleared it and waved them on. I was still the leader here. I don’t really know why, as Paul was the son of one of our illustrious leaders.

Russell was more mature than I by far, but he was so… delicate and passive.

Carrie was a force to be reckoned with but she might turn against a team mate in anger about as easily as she’d fight a Mon’Thal—a monster in our vernacular, but really just any race from the other side of the Shattering.

Paul was… young, and almost as much of a hothead as Carrie. If those two got together they’d either be the hottest couple or the most mutually destructive.

He reminded me of Hannah in the way he handled people. I’d have to be more careful of him. If I got fired from here, I’d be killed, so it was more serious, but less so, in that I didn’t care this time.

Of course, since he was the son of one of our fearless-leaders, he’d just be given the position when they chose to push me aside.

We loaded up into our van. I found a comfy place to sit in the back as Paul got into the drivers seat, just narrowly beating Carrie to it.

I think I fell asleep because then we were there.

Paul yelled, Holy fuck!

I looked out of the window. We were a block away and you could hear the crashing from here. There were several store fronts smashed through and the glass lay on the ground around us.

We piled out of the van and spread out to look around.

I felt it, something magic was nearby. My… member felt a throb. It was as uncomfortable as it had been in the beginning when I didn’t realize what it was and had been so uncomfortable popping a boner in public. Apparently it was still annoying to me. Which was a comforting thought in a way.

I needed more liquor. I didn’t want to deal with this anymore in my life.

Whatever it was, was of magic or created by it, something. I started to build up some magic lattices between my arms, something to build upon when needed.

Then we saw it, as it pushed through a wall.

It stood up and had to be twenty feet high. Its head was a simple round sphere, gray and it looked like stone. Its body was stone as well. I could almost see where someone had patched the separate pieces together.

I felt Russell building up his power in the shoulder high staff he liked to carry. The staff went a little higher though on me, as he was 3" taller than me.

Paul pulled his power around his arms and held it, as he’d been taught. Carrie had been taught that way as well, so she pulled her power around her hands until it was glowing blue and washing down to her elbows.

I preferred to pull and store my power in a thing, like my lattice, rather than in myself, but that could have been because magic seemed to pool at my groin more-so, if I did it that other way.

The monster turned to face us and I felt out with my power, just touching him through the lattice. I just wanted to get a feel for what it was before it got to us.

He reacted though, feeling my touch even from that far away. I was no where close to using enough to even slightly hurt it either. Someone didn’t want it examined.

Carrie blasted him. The power blasted against his stone chest and he roared. Truthfully I should be calling it an ‘it’, as it was a ‘he’ only in as much as it wasn’t a ‘she’.

It turned this way and Paul fired his power, which hit the creature’s other arm like a blast of fire, and was as effective against stone as I figured it would be. We could all fire at once, perhaps after a few minutes, we’d have enough power to melt it, but that would probably decimate the area.

These were paying customers, and even if their stores were ruined, I could see a few frightened faces that wouldn’t survive that kind of attack.

I felt it again with the probing beam from my lattice. It felt made. It had been created, I didn’t know its maker though.

It pushed through what was left of the store front and charged at us.

Russell pushed out with his power, just using general force, not directed, which was better for this kind of thing and he knew it. He at least slowed the creature’s advances, though I doubt Paul and Carrie understood why.

I found its consciousness. It was an animal… a bear? Yes. A bear. There was a force controlling it, and it was strong, too strong. They, or it, had to be close by…

I also knew that I couldn’t wrestle control from them in time. I looked around. At the rooftops and such. I didn’t see any figures. I turned my attention to the creature’s connective tissues. There was magic keeping the stones together and giving them its unnatural power.

I sighed as both Carrie and Paul were building up their power for an even bigger hit. It wasn’t going to be enough. I think, but what did I know. I was a stupid, murdering, drunk.

Then I saw it—a small orb floating in the air, watching us, more than it watched the creature. I turned my lattice on it, as secretly as I could, and scanned the thing. It wasn’t the controller of the monster though. Interesting. What was it? How had I not seen that when we got here? Or felt it? Well, it sort of made sense, and normally I didn’t care, normally I was too drunk to care. But now with the adrenaline running and my team at risk, I did, sort of.

I felt it too, and my pants felt tighter as I felt the unfamiliar sensation of my member actually swelling up. I felt the tingle up my back to my head and gasped. No way! That would be the first in a very long time that happened and to a little thing like that tiny spy-orb? I definitely had not drunk enough! Not if I was getting hard from feeling the power coming from that!

Oh wait… I felt it now. I felt the owner’s energy flowing from the orb. The vision of her pretty face and lovely blonde hair waving in the wind came to my mind. Oh, Hannah.

What was she doing spying on us? Why? She had to be still with the Agency, and if so, why did they care what some Stone Golem was doing to our customers?

I formed a bit of energy in my palm.

A small, emerald-green Asian-type dragon came into being.

It wasn’t important what it looked like, it had just been how I’d been taught to cast this spell.

The old man had been ancient, but he knew this spell and I’d been trying to learn everything I could in some sort of OCD, curiosity-induced lust for magical knowledge shortly after my sixteenth birthday.

I turned my lattice back to the Golem.

The tiny emerald dragon rose on its little wings and soared over to that slightly hidden orb. I really should have noticed that thing earlier. I hated to be watched while working. I hated to give away our secrets, it just seemed wrong.

There was a change in the air as the creature was about to charge. I changed the struts of my lattice, but just a little. I realized that Russell noticed as well, because he changed his spell too.

Paul and Carrie continued to fire their power at the stone Golem, ineffectively, but I’m sure it was fun, as they laughed. If they’d been here alone, they’d probably be dead. That could be fun… well, no. I don’t think I could do that. No, I knew I couldn’t, as I hadn’t.

I felt the spy-orb fizzle as the emerald dragon snuck up and popped it with a slight zap of power. I could have packed more of a punch in it, but I just couldn’t… it would hurt the operator… as that was… her.

I shivered in anger and guilt, and focused on the lattice in front of me.

Paul, power, here. I lit up a section of it for him to touch.

He turned and sighed, You lazy fuck, I’m busy. I’m trying to stop that thing while you do whatever the fuck you are doing! Why do you always do that?

What?

Useless fuck! Why do you create these elaborate things that you can’t power yourself? Is it because you’re a lazy drunk?

I sighed. Did he want to die in a few seconds? His direct power blasts were clearly doing nothing. Did he not realize that?

He continued to rant, You also never thank me for helping!

Thank him? For what? This was a job.

You always just yell at us for having fun, but all day long you drink yourself into oblivion!

I sighed. Why was he acting like such a child right now? Well, if he wanted to die then fuck him! I sighed, no…

Carrie. I said.

She didn’t say a word as she touched the lattice, and poured the power she’d collected already to fire another shot, instead into my creation.

I let the power flow through it as I’d shaped it. The filaments lit up and then it poured towards the creature, filling the air with the pale blue light as the beam struck the Golem and was soon filling its seams with that light. My structure worked like the tool it was, amplifying and focusing the power, and I felt the connections between the stones weakening.

The monster took a step towards us as it roared, and its arm fell off.

The lattice fired again, changing the bonds between more of the stones and the creature became undone.

Paul laughed, No fucking way! How did you do that?

I was supposed to be teaching him, but the problem was that he never paid attention! He also didn’t respect me, and I understood that, as I was a lowly worm now.

I said, While you were blasting it, I was looking at it.

Looking? Paul laughed, Sure, whatever, you just get lucky. That has to be it. You’re always drunk. How did you even learn magic? You can barely stand up!

Yep, I stumbled. It had almost been too much for me to even build the rest of the lattice after making that dragon.

Carrie said, Naw, that’s just magic-strain.

I don’t know why she made excuses like that, as I was an awful person and she knew better. There was no point in trying to think the best of me.

No, you know him, he’s drunk out of his mind. You can smell it.

Carrie shrugged.

I had barely used any of my own power in the destruction spell. I knew I didn’t dare risk it either, which is why I had them use theirs. I was too drunk to stand. I was too drunk to push that much power. Then my lattice would break and we’d be done.

Russell had come over with his staff and was letting me lean on it as we looked over the fallen rock monster.

We need to dispel the head and… I hiccuped and forgot what I was going to say.

Russell said, I’ve got it, sit down.

It what? Paul laughed, He didn’t even finish his sentence!

Russell sighed, He’s told me before.

He did?

Russell sighed, Look for the head.

Paul hissed, Fine. He’s supposed to be the leader and our mentor and he can’t fucking finish… whatever.

I sat on a nice sized boulder. I was supposed to mentor them, I tried, but I didn’t care. I just couldn’t care. My life was over.

We were an interesting group though, if I had cared to think on it. Paul and Carrie had the raw power, but not an idea how to use it. I had the knowledge, from my life before, and Russell had the finesse. Apart or alone, we’d be doomed. Something moved underneath me and I jumped up, and promptly fell to the ground beside it.

I didn’t have the coordination I used to have.

I didn’t have the mental capacities I used to have.

I wasn’t… anything.

I saw the stone blink.

I laughed as Paul shook his head at me. It wasn’t the first time I’d fallen, though if it had been a few years ago Carrie would have run over to check on me. Now she didn’t want to touch me, as it had gotten old and I had just gotten worse. I figured I had a few more years left in me, then my body would fail, probably my liver first.

I remembered what we were doing when I saw them all looking around at the stones. Hey guys, I guess I found it!

Russell smirked and shook his head, Of course you did.

I laughed from the ground as I took a drink from the bottle that I’d pulled from the inside of my cloak. I didn’t hide my drinking. Did that make me not technically an alcoholic? Not that it mattered, I was going to die of the stuff, sooner than later at this point.

A small man and woman walked over to us, yelling, as I continued to laugh on the ground.

The woman hit me with a broom and I shuffled away as Russell tried to appease them about their store. They paid The Company for protection sure, but the Agency wouldn’t have done better!

We were hired to protect them, which we did. We’d prevented any more devastation to their property after we got here, and we kept them alive. What more did these punks want?

We’ll go to the Agency then, maybe they’d actually get here when they were called!

We got here as fast as we could have. I sat on the van’s step and drank.

Before we left, I said, to someone, Remember to get the head.

It’s inert now, ass.

I shrugged, blinking at the darkness of my dizzy spell. I want to take a look at it later.

I don’t remember getting back to work, or why I was currently looking up at the faces of an Orc, a Dwarf, an Elf, and some blonde haired, green eyed normalish looking guy.

Four guys looked down at me and I looked around in a panic. Was I under attack? I was in the lockerroom? Why was I here? They looked at me with bemusement, so, oh, they knew who I was. Oh! I knew who they were!

They were ‘The Hilt’, another team of The Company, made up of Mon’Thals, monsters in our vernacular, but really it was just the name of any race from the other side of the Shattering.

I stood up and shrugged. I had no idea why I was in the lockerroom still, but I was, as the next shift was changing for a call.

Good luck out there, guys.

Hrm, my voice was so odd sounding, younger, or higher, something weird for sure.

Ted asked, You okay, Erin?

I didn’t know much about him, besides that he was the most normal looking of the guys on ‘The Hilt’ team. He looked like an Elf in many ways, like in the way he held himself, yet he didn’t have the ears and the eyes.

The Dwarf sneered, He’s drunk again, the loser.

His name was Sidead, and like a dwarf in any pre-Shattered fantasy book, he was short, bearded and loud. But they didn’t drink. Ever. I think it was religious, so clearly he didn’t like me.

The Orc just sneered at me, for being weak as his race would think, or just because he didn’t like me either.

The Elf didn’t even look my way. He always had airs about him, like he was above all this. I didn’t freaking care about either or any of them anyhow. Well I did as far as they were people, even people associated with this fucking Company. My lack of care was a blessing and a curse, most days it felt more like a curse.

Ted reached down and helped me to my feet. Now get out of here Erin, we have work to do.

The Orc, Kipper Beth, said, Oddly, I’m left wondering if he’s cleaned himself up somewhat.

You could hear the odd stiffness of his vowels as he spoke, like most Orcs.

What? Ted asked.

Kipper shrugged, For a date or something, as his usual slump and stink isn’t so awful today.

They laughed as I left.

Ted asked, Is it true, Erin?

No, I said as I left.

Me on a date? I hadn’t thought of doing anything like that in so long, it felt alien. I hadn’t had a relationship with a woman in years. A real one in seven years, since… her.

Hannah. What was she doing spying on us working the Stone Golem? Was her team ready to swoop in to save the day when we failed? Why did my chest still hurt when I thought of that scheming girl? Why couldn’t I just get over her, or die?

* * *

Chapter 05: day 05: body work

I felt myself falling!

I gasped out a whispered noise as I reached out just in time to stop my face from hitting the ground. My scrotum had almost been crushed!

At least I had landed on the pile of dirty clothes that I conveniently never moved. I sat up on my knees, my balls touched the ground below me, and I could actually feel them slightly brushing against the cloth I was sitting on.

I remembered feeling tender touches, laying above her and… It was time for a drink! I grabbed the nearest bottle and chugged.

I gagged, it must be bad!

But… Alcohol didn’t go bad, did it? I looked at the label and laughed. According to most, this particular bottle had started out bad!

Now my throat hurt. Ugh!

I stood up and wobbled to sit on my bed, to get my bearings and another swig, which burned the same as it went down my throat.

Fuck that hurt… good though.

I sat up and looked at my clock. It was Sunday, I didn’t have to go in, so why was I awake?

Well I guess it was going to be another dirty day I spent at home.

I threw on a robe and got up to go sit on a more comfortable seat in the living room. I drank from the bottle on the table there, but there was just a drop left. Soon I’d have to go shopping for more booze. It could hopefully wait till tomorrow when I was out already, for work.

It was also colder today or something, ugh, I was cold! I didn’t want to turn up the heat, per the bill, so I just threw on some shorts and a shirt. I usually just walked around in the robe on my dirty days, naked underneath and not caring.

I got up to do something else, walking around aimlessly until I found a bottle. The magic yesterday must have made me feel too much, and it seemed I was remembering her too much too, as my balls felt weird. I could feel them, and it felt like they weren’t even hanging down as much as they sometimes did. My balls felt light, but… sensitive, not heavy and sensitive, like when I’d been horny, years and years ago.

I found another bottle and drank the last of it too.

Yep, I’d have to shop for ‘food’ soon.

I stumbled into a table.

How much had I drunk already?

I had emptied two bottles… but… no, they weren’t full. I must have found another I didn’t remember between them. Yeah.

I peed, when I noticed that I was standing at the toilet and that’s what I must have been going here to do.

My dick was small, and almost hiding back inside itself. The head looked submerged into the skin of the shaft. That made it annoying to pee, I wasn’t sitting to pee though, fuck that. It got everywhere as it was too hard to direct right that small. It was really freaking cold in here? No, just chilly. I shook my head, and pulled up my shorts.

Fuck I hate everything so much right now!

My home phone rang then.

I sighed as I saw it was work, so I picked it up, Yeah?

Carrie said, Yeah, um, Erin, I was told to try you.

She was working today?

What’s up? My voice cracked. What the?

She stammered, W-well, Erin, I-I know this is your day off, but I-I need to be somewhere, and there’s a new guy here today to get oriented. He’s going to join us… so… um…

I sighed. Give me an hour.

Really? You’d come in?

I sighed and said, Sure. What else did I have to do? Nothing. Ever.

Um… I was in the shower? Had I even hung up.

It