Cue Cards for Life: Thoughtful Tips for Better Relationships

By Christina Steinorth

With almost 7 billion people on the planet, we're bound to run into communication problems sometime. And though we know healthy relationships and a sense of community are essential for a healthy, happy, and successful life, some of us are not equipped or quite prepared to deal with the situations and the life transitions we sometimes face. Cue Cards for Life is a handy, intuitive "how to" guide that can be easily applied in real life situations.

In her private practice as a psychotherapist, Christina Steinorth noticed that many of her patients came in with the same communication problems. Couples would neglect their love relationships, parents would talk at their teens instead of talking to them, and adults found few guidelines for interacting well with their aging parents. In fact, most people seemed to put more thought into deciding what to have for dinner than they did in choosing what they said and how they behaved in important situations. As a result, something seemed to go wrong -- but they were unsure of exactly what. Steinorth made Cue Cards for her patients to help them with these recurring problems.

Cue Cards are deceptively simple reminders and remedies that anyone can use to immediately improve just about any relationship. Each card is accompanied by a clear and encouraging explanation of the psychological principles that make the cue card work. These straightforward tips are so practical and down-to-earth that anyone can use them to communicate effectively with others, minimize conflict, and handle life transitions with greater ease.

The book starts with an overview of communication basics, such as the importance of listening and eye contact, boundaries and personal space, and nonverbal communication (body language). Steinorth then offers prompts that highlight what to say and do in a variety of situations. The book includes Cue Cards for improving communication/relationships in the areas of love, parent/teen interaction, caring for aging parents, getting along with in-laws and in the workplace. There are also Cue Cards for weddings, parties and major social events.

The book can be read cover to cover or readers can easily flip to sections relevant to their needs. The 47 "Cue Cards" are presented visually as cards, leaving potential for a later card deck. These prompts can also be used daily as an overall commitment to improved relationships in one's life, or to creatively foster more harmonious relationships in a group or between individuals. Each card reminds the reader about some interpersonal basic, such as taking responsibility, earning respect, being honest, asking for help, being kind, being a good role model - even grooming!

Cue Cards for Life can help people improve their daily interactions. Most of us underestimate the power common courtesy and kindness have to improve all relationships, and all of us encounter situations in life where we stumble a little. Sometimes we need a gentle reminder -- a cue card, a clue card -- to steer us back in the right direction.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Turner Publishing Company
• Release date: May 8, 2012
• ISBN: 9780897936279

Book preview

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Reviews for Cue Cards for Life

[abigayl_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This is a nice, easy to read, little book. There aren't a lot of new ideas but it's still a very useful book. It all seems like common sense but the cue cards are things that we often forget. Even something as simple as waiting for the right time to talk about certain things with a significant other. It's something that we may think needs to be handled right now. But in reality, if we stop and think for a moment, waiting might work better for both of us. The book is full of little things like that, that we just forget to think of but make sense when we read them in the book. So yes, it is a lot of common sense sort of tips, but it's things that we all forget too easily.

[amys3boys · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I found that most of the advice in the book is really rather basic. And yes, I agree that we often need reminders to do the things that make sense and that we already know about. I guess I was looking for a bit more. I enjoyed the book - for the reminders of the basics - can't say that I loved it, since I felt it was lacking.

[ladyrae-1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This is a set of supposedly 'common sense' reminders for interaction with those around you - but when we are feeling threatened or vulnerable, it's easy to forget the basics! Steinorth's suggestions, while simple, definitely pave the road for better relationships - with family, friends, or coworkers. I am disappointed that the writing assumed heterosexual relationships and I feel that there were some stereotypical assumptions about gender roles that informed the advice.

[ellesee_1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Mostly common sense material if one was not raised by gorillas. Definitely aimed at the white, suburban, middle/upper-class socialite-wanna-be, quasi-professional "home-maker female. A blatant generalization: I do not envision men, working class or people of non-white ethnic heritage giving two-hoots about this book. Best chapter: taking care of aging parents. Had some helpful advise and it was clear that Steinworth's specialty was in this area. Worst chapter: "How to be a Corporate Drone" (not really the title, but should have been). Anyone following Steinorth's "advice" in a work-place environment will soon find themselves the butt of "goodie-two-shoes" derision and ostracism. I'm thinking about placing this book in our school's library (since I am the librarian), since, perhaps, teens--possibly raised by gorillas--might benefit from the strange concept that social etiquette can matter.

[meditationesmartini · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

This started out inoffensively enough--the "cue cards" conceit is a bit meaningless (they're headings in a book, not actual cards), but it was all "remember to be kind" and "talk to your teen like an equal" and maybe intermittently good reminders of the kind of obvious things that we still forget to do that Steinorth must see a lot of in her practice as a family counsellor. (There is a weird cranky "maybe THIS'll sort all you people out" undertone that is offputting, and while I don't want to criticize Steinorth's appearance, she looks like a weird debutante on the back cover, and she seems horrified by the idea of taking public transit. Why are so many counsellors this same type of kind, slightly overwhelming woman from upper-middle-class backgrounds who think all the world's problems can be solved with a little meddling, he generalized wildly). But then it gets into "cue cards for work" (I guess she felt the book needed padding) and it's all "your employer doesn't pay you to laze about. They pay you to increase your productivity and represent the company in business casual attire! End your maladaptive behaviours posthaste!!" It's a conservative and smarmily apolitical vision of the counsellor's role and I go feh.

[melmmo · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

The small size and format of the book would lend itself to being a take-along quick reference; however, there's nothing in the book that I would want to reference. There are no physical cue cards, and while cue cards could be made from the suggestions in the book, I can't imagine how they would be useful. The advice is so basic and simple, I have a hard time imagining who would find it useful. Children? No, because the audience for the book is so obviously women. If there are people in this world who could stand to learn something from this book, even that would be a challenge, as the author only provides the "what to do" and not the "how". Someone with common sense and basic social skills already knows how to do these things, while someone learning something new would be left with more questions than answers.

[ciruelo_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Cue Cards for Life provides simple, sound advice for daily living. Since life often seems anything but simple, and bad behavior can be witnessed everywhere, this book reminds the reader to be responsible, kind, and considerate. It provides specific tips on what to do (and not do) to keep our relationships positive, productive, and healthy.

[bookcaterpillar · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Was disappointed with this little book. There just isn't much to it. When I read "cue cards" I thought that there would be beautiful, colorful cue cards. Given how little text there is to the book and how few cited sources there are, there is plenty of opportunity to create cue cards that could be handed out and used to facilitate books or to use as personal reminders in your household. Think it would be a more successful approach to offer cards with a supplemental text. This text on its own doesn't carry enough weight or offer enough value. Don't be fooled by the title-there are no cards. The "cue cards" are text boxes with silly, elementary illustrations. It really cheapens the messages contained within the book, in my opinion.I think the subtitle captures that these are tips and if thoughtfully considered, the tips could lead to better relationships. Yet, I think there are other programs or books that give you more substance or catchier tips (like, "fierce conversations"). Plus, the approach is not all that inclusive. More on that in a moment.The categories work. The organization of the book is helpful: love relationships, teens, social events, effective apologies, etc. Yet, as others mention in reviews, the language is certainly geared toward women and I would argue certain kinds of women. I would be very hesitant to ask a husband, a college student, a professional caregiver to pick this book up. Cannot imagine that it would receive a positive response.

[shellyup47 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Cue Cards for Life is a handbook for life. A great deal of the information provided might seem obvious but in working with people you would be amazed at the folks who lack simple social skills. I especially liked the chapters on teens and on effective apologies. I found Steinworth's book easy to read and and laid out in such a manner that makes it an easy reference for problem areas. I highly recommend her book and found it to be an interesting read.

[itbgc · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I enjoyed reading this little book. Most of the tips were obvious points for living with and getting along with people, but I was glad I read the book because the book opened my eyes to a few of my flaws that I need to work on. For example, I realized while reading one section of the book that I have the habit of interrupting people as they speak (including "helping" them finish their sentences if they pause to think). Even if I improve in just a few areas of my life, it makes reading the book well worth my time.

[mayaarb · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

While the writing style and content was entertaining, this was not a triumphant "Ah, ha" moment for me. The kernels of wisdom contained herein are nothing new, and, if anything I was somewhat offended that most of the information was directed toward the female of the species as if working on a relationship were solely the domain of women.

[almab_48 · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

Cue Cards is a more accurate description than "book" to describe this compilation of little nibblets of advice. It's not particularly interesting reading, nor is it anything very insightful or inspirational. I found the booklet boring and trite.

[elpaca · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This is just the thing to carry around with you just in case you have to wait an inordinate time at the DMV or your flight has been cancelled. Some very logical thoughts on how to treat people with kindness and thoughtfulness. I recommend this little book to everyone, and when you falter with kind thoughts to others due to circumstances beyond your contral, pull it out and find the best cue to be nice.

[lynngw · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I really liked this book. It contains a lot of useful information. I read the book from start to finish. It is an easy book, however, to pick and reread certain selections.I was particularly interested in the Cue Cards for the Workplace as I am getting ready to return to employment after 10 years as a homemaker.This book offers information on improving aspects of important relationships. It offers tips on the the right way to word your coversations and the appropriate use of body language. I also like the part for teens. Although my son is only 10, quite a bit is applicable to our relationship.This book gives a lot of food for thought. I really like the straight forward style of the writing and the little cue card boxes. It contains a wealth of information in a compact unit. I appreciate the index in the back-it will make it easy to find just what I'm looking for.These are tips anyone can use.

[immaculatechaos · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This is a cute little book with helpful tips about relationships and how we should be communicating in them. It is very small so it would fit easily in bathrooms, or bedsides. The author says it was not written to read all the through, but as a resource to look up what you need.

[joyce2adams250 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I loved the situation-specific chapter format. The book covers the problems I have had in my life. I like that the information is based on real life peoples lives. After I read the book I gave it to a girl friend who trying to start her life over after a divorce. I related to chaper 6-Cue cards for the workplace-communication there is not very good-but gossip runs wild. Good luck with your book.

[psychomamma · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is a fantastic little book I received from Library Thing's Early Reviewers program. Written by a practicing Marriage and Family Therapist, it is little "cue cards" or snippets that help you have better relationships. Although some seem like common sense, it's true that we don't always act with intention when it comes to how we interact with one another. This book can serve as a basic reminder of some things like - "Let other people speak without interrupting them" and "Recognize and respect the personal space of others". Each cue card has a bit of explanation. Some, like "Act loving even when you don't feel like it" are tips that I have spent months and months working on with someone in therapy (as a therapist). So it's true that some of her tips are MUCH easier said than done, and you might need some help from a professional to actually learn how to do it in real life!Organized by subject (love relationships, teens, etc) you can easily find some quick tips without reading the whole book. This is a gem I will keep in my therapy office!

[hippielunatic · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

A completely easy and well organized read, [Cue Cards for Life] was not one to open my eyes to hints that I did not already know, but it did help to remind me of ways that I can work actively to better my relationships. Given that Steinorth added sections on dealing with teenage children and aging adults, I would have greatly appreciated sections on children's teachers and exspouses, though just about all of the cue cards are cross-referential. Another effective addition might have been some practice exercises. Give the reader a challenge to go out and use seven cue cards in a week, between spouses, children, co-workers, social events, etc. Give a prompt to put this book to use, as well as some area for self-editing for the cue cards. Cue Cards for Effective Apologies came the closest to what I had hoped this book would be, with examples and a true outline of what conscientious communication should look like.

[baroquem_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

It's true that much of the advice in this book is basic — what some people might consider to be "common sense". But that's the intent, if I'm not much mistaken. The point is that not everyone is a gifted communicator, and many people lack confidence with even the basics of interpersonal relationships. There is a place for a book such as this, and this type of organized, simple advice. It gives readers a place to begin in various social settings. I didn't have a problem with the content on that basis.I wish, however, that Steinorth had offered "cue cards" for a wider variety of situations. As difficult as it is to get bogged down in such a short, straightforward book, I found that the sections on communicating with teenage children and elderly parents dragged more than they ought to have. That may just be personal taste, as those situations don't currently apply to me, but I would have preferred not to spend so much time on those topics.I hesitate to bring up one issue that may be seen as mere nitpicking, but it tends to drive me a bit crazy: the author frequently but inconsistently uses indeterminate plural pronouns to dodge the issue of specifying gender. Constructions such as 'Ask your teen about their day' (not a direct quote), while common in modern writing, set my grammatical teeth on edge; but reading about a singular 'them' in one sentence and 'him or her' in the next is even more jarring. Oh well.

[michellewriting · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I appreciated this deceptively simple book of cue cards. More than simply a modern Miss Manners, Ms. Steinorth provides practical tips for smoothing and strengthening communication in every relationship and for myriad occasions, including everyday interpersonal basics everyone should know.

[catarina1_1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Advice for relationships but generally the "tips" are all pretty obvious. And if you have lived a few decades on this planet, you pretty much know them all. Not very useful for me. But a cute and colorful cover.

[physicianwriter · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I enjoyed “Cue Cards for Life” not just because it gives out ideas that we can use in daily life but also that is easy to read and assimilate. Of course we all know most of these basic principles outlined in the book, but people like tend to “forget them” in the sometimes dysfunctional emotion and thinking in the fast lane of life. This is handy book for introspection, to keep to referring to as reminders of what is right and not just what gives transient emotional satisfaction at the cost of long term difficulties.

[bidwell9glaze · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

I read this book as pastoral counselor for over a quarter of a century. I am always looking for material that can help me at my work or that I can give to people that can help them. Cue Cards for Life:: Thoughtful Tips for Better Relationships is not such a book.I had to assume that the mysterious MFT in her title is for “Marriage and Family Therapist”, which is the only way I can construe the author as a psychotherapist, although the title is general and does not assume any registration or licensing requirements. I knew from reading the first chapter, however, where her rhetorical style belongs. In fluffy magazines for women who are not going anywhere.Her “examples” are straw men artifacts which she tears down in accordance with her preconceptions and calls done. The fact that they can be read differently, even must be read differently in accordance with her own “cue card” advice absolutely escapes her.Her “cue cards” are also not as clear cut as they sound. From her second “cue card” to the last, she inadequately adds caveats that are not internally understandable. The person has to just “know” the differences in behavior, whereas if the reader could tell the difference between one behavior and the other they would not need the advice. Actually many of the “cues” are well-known advice that is simply not helpful in the given form. Some of the advice is dangerous, such as when she suggests a drug or alcohol intervention with no backup.The book is written as if only women of a certain type will read it. “If you... see something you would like the man in your life to read, don't tell him to read the whole book – just ...”(p. 7), “Encourage him to have guy time” (p. 41), etc.. She occasionally attempts gender-neutral prose, but it does not fit the woman-centric advice, in fact it emphasizes it by the stiltedness of the insertions. In the chapter on dealing with teens, there are suggestion after suggestion attempting to sound gender neutral. After which (p. 84) she notes that fathers also need to be involved in their children, at least in their education. She doesn't suggest that they be involved in the rest of the chapter's suggestions, just that they need to take a few hours a semester to remind the children that they exist.The References in the back of the book are worth keeping the book, but would not, in my opinion, be worth paying money for.

[goth_marionette · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Overly simplistic and lacking in any eye opening advice. I was expecting a bit more that statements that most people already know and accept. More like reminder cards rather than cue cards. I think this is one book which I will not be keeping in my collection.