Connecting with Your Kids: Fun, simple and practical ideas to help raise resilient children

By Andy McNeilly

'Andy McNeilly has written a humble, human and practical guide for anyone wanting to be "a good enough parent". As his "good enough father", I continue to be sustained by his generosity and our mutual connection. In this compact book, Andy offers simple and fun opportunities for families to explore and learn together, skills that will lead to a

• Language: English
• Publisher: Amba Press
• Release date: Oct 4, 2023
• ISBN: 9781923116993

Andy McNeilly

Andy McNeilly has been teaching children and adults for many years. More recently he has been running workshops to help families connect. They focus on 'life skills' that are vital for our children and teenagers to succeed. These are the people skills that enable us to socialise, communicate and interact with each other in harmony. They include gratitude, empathy, communication, imagination, organisation, self-awareness and resilience.

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Connecting with Your Kids

Fun, simple and practical ideas to help raise resilient children

Andy McNeilly

Published in 2023 by Amba Press, Melbourne, Australia

www.ambapress.com.au

© Andy McNeilly 2023

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher.

This book uses case studies to enforce the meaning behind its relevant chapter. Names have been omitted or changed to protect individual privacy.

Every effort has been made to trace (and seek permission for use of) the original source of material used within this book. Where the attempt has been unsuccessful, the publisher would be pleased to hear from the author/publisher to rectify any omission.

ISBN: 9781923116993 (ebk)

A catalogue record for this book is available from the National Library of Australia.

Foreword

Steve Biddulph

Have you noticed that some families seem to be like a happy party just walking along, and others are kind of tense and awkward? How some parents and kids seem to get along really well, and others are awkward and negative, reduced to just sharp commands to hurry up or don’t touch that.   

It’s not that one kind of parent doesn’t love their kids just as much or work just as hard to feed and clothe and care for them, but more that they may not have found ways to be close, have fun, and share good times. Connection with our kids isn’t some mystical thing, it’s made up of shared activities and memories, often not the expensive ones but just stuff that happened.  

Andy McNeilly realised early in his work as a primary teacher (and dad) that not all kids get along with their parents very well, and not all parents know what to do to have good times with their children. After all, what’s the point of feeding, clothing and caring for kids if you still just don’t get along, and they don’t feel close to you and able to trust you. If they grow into teens, and then adults, who don’t have much connection to you, and just drift away. How sad would that be?

The secret that Andy is happy to share is that there are thousands of things you can do with your kids, which are fun and helpful to building a good relationship. Don’t be daunted by that, or by the pages of this book, into feeling that’s just too much. This is a RECIPE book. Just one tasty meal from the activities in here can give you a really great time. Half a dozen of those might be all you need for a year!  

And because our minds are good at knowing what works for us, just trust yourself to pick out one or two and make a start. You’ll get your money’s worth if even one of these ideas takes off with you and your children.  

Sometimes as a parent, you feel stuck. Stuck for what to do, or what to say, or how to act. It’s a terrible feeling, knowing there is something wise or clever or helpful needed, and you just don’t know what that is.

These activities unstick you. You start to get more creative, and inventive, and get into a nice flow with your kids that spreads to other parts of your family’s life. When I think back to my childhood sixty years ago (yes, shocking aye? And I look so YOUNG) I remember fun times with my mum or dad, doing stuff and feeling that the world and life were a wonderful place. Activities, conversations, projects, games, that are simple and may not even cost a cent.

Have fun with this book! Dive in somewhere, grab an idea, and give it a go.  

Warmest

Steve Biddulph AM,

Author of 10 Things Girls Need Most, Raising Girls, Raising Boys,

Complete Secrets of Happy Children, and The New Manhood

www.stevebiddulph.com

Contents

Foreword

Introduction

January

Week 1: Gratitude

Week 2:

Week 3:

Week 4:

February

Week 1:

Week 2:

Week 3:

Week 4:

March

Week 1: Forming Relationships

Week 2:

Week 3:

Week 4:

April

Week 1:

Week 2:

Week 3:

Week 4:

May

Week 1:

Week 2:

Week 3:

Week 4:

June

Week 1:

Week 2:

Week 3:

Week 4:

July

Week 1:

Week 2:

Week 3:

Week 4:

August

Week 1:

Week 2:

Week 3:

Week 4:

September

Week 1:

Week 2:

Week 3:

Week 4:

October

Week 1:

Week 2:

Week 3:

Week 4:

November

Week 1:

Week 2:

Week 3:

Week 4:

December

Week 1:

Week 2:

Week 3:

Week 4:

Introduction

One of the best things I’ve ever done in my life was to have children. Daisy, Finn and Monty are special people in my life and I often marvel at the miracle of being a parent; being part of creating a child and helping them to grow, develop and become independent. When I find out that somebody is going to become a parent, I always tell them that this is the best thing they’ll ever do in their lives.

I’m passionate about people being a part of a loving and connected family and there is nothing more satisfying for me than to work with people. I love connecting with people of all ages, from different backgrounds, countries and cultures, and from all walks of life. This has been a strong theme throughout my life. I have been teaching primary school-aged children for over a decade. I’ve also worked in adult education. But as a parent, I know how easy it is to get buried in the ‘admin of life’.

We’re all guilty of ‘in a minute’ syndrome: putting off being with our kids until we’ve sent that email, made that phone call or completed that task. But there is nothing more important than engaging with our kids. Developing this connection requires us to build a strong relationship with our kids so they know we are always there for them.

I want to share some insights I’ve gained from my many years as a primary school teacher and also my experiences as a parent. My aim is to give parents and kids the tools to connect and also for kids to make a success of their lives. This book is designed to give you the insights and practical strategies to make time to connect with your kids and to support them to build the life skills they need to thrive and be happy.

Happiness predicts success, not the other way around.

Our kids face numerous hurdles to happiness: the physical, psychological and social pressures of growing up in a changing world dominated by social media and the ‘busyness’ of their parents’ lives. Most of us adults take our ability to cope with what life throws at us for granted. But that is an ability we’ve had to learn. We can support our kids to develop these ‘executive skills’ from a young age. The sooner we can equip our kids, the better. We have a critical role to play in helping our kids develop these skills, but we have to make time to do it.

More importantly, being connected as a family is one of the most special things that we can all experience in our lives.

We don’t have to be a parenting expert, however we can always look at ways to become a better parent. I’ve written and designed this book to be simple and fun, and to be used together as a family. Each week, there are some fun activities to play with that are designed to build life skills. You might like to use this book in chronological order, or if you think that you would like to work on a particular life skill with one of your children, try finding the best skills that fit the needs of your family. The ideas in this book are often simple and easy for you to do with very few resources. They are designed to be fun and adaptable. Feel free to experiment and play with them, changing things around to suit your family. Some of the suggested ideas are very closely linked to the executive skill in each section and some are not. Many of them are linked to lots of other executive skills and quite a few have been repeated. And some of the stories are linked to the life skills, while some may have not much to do with them at all.

As Princess Diana said, Family is the most important thing in the world.

Have fun playing with this book and enjoy connecting together as a family.

Cheers,

Andy McNeilly

January Week 1

Gratitude

Gratitude could be described as the quality of being thankful. Being grateful for something may help us to become connected with the present; not wishing for something from the future or not thinking about the past. There may be many benefits to us of being grateful, such as improved mental health, increased happiness and a reduction in depression. It seems to me that one of the quests of being a human being is to be happy. Sometimes, when I just stop and ‘smell the roses’, I become aware of how good my life really is.

I am so grateful for everything in my life, and for actually having a life to be grateful for. I went for a swim with our children Daisy, Finn and Monty. The wind was blowing and the seas were rough. We could have had a disastrous time at the beach, but we drove a short distance to a more secluded beach and had a wonderful time together. How grateful I was that we could go somewhere else. I felt grateful to have a car to transport us all in, to be able to park close to the beach and to be able to live in a place where our family is safe.

Sometimes, I dream of having more, but I am often reminded how grateful I am for what we already have. And I am truly grateful for my