Wife & Husband Jokes

By Mahesh Dutt Sharma

Laughter is as essential for us as breathing is. The life becomes a big boredom without humour. Whatever be the merits of today’s busy and hectic life, it certainly has taken away laughter from our lives. Mental breakdowns we see around are proofs of it.
This ‘Jokes E-book’ of ours is an effort to dissolve your tensions in a solution of smiles, chuckles and laughter. We earnestly believe that our collections of hilarious jokes will displace your worries and gloom with lots of Ha-Ha’s.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mahesh Dutt Sharma
• Release date: Jan 11, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311857385

Mahesh Dutt Sharma

Mahesh Sharma, a prestigious author and journalist, has written more than 1550 Hindi and English books. His book, "Mahatma Gandhi," won the M.P. Govt. Gandhi Darshan National Award in 2010. He also won Purvottar Hindi Academy, Meghalaya, Shilong Award twice, Natraj Author Award etc.. He is a freelance writer and writing is his passion.

Book preview

Wife & Husband Jokes

By Mahesh Dutt Sharma

Published by Mahesh Dutt Sharma

Smashwords Edition

© mds e-books 2014

Smashwords License Statement

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Preface

Laughter is as essential for us as breathing is. The life becomes a big boredom without humour. Whatever be the merits of today’s busy and hectic life, it certainly has taken away laughter from our lives. Mental breakdowns we see around are proofs of it.

This ‘Jokes E-book’ of ours is an effort to dissolve your tensions in a solution of smiles, chuckles and laughter. We earnestly believe that our collections of hilarious jokes will displace your worries and gloom with lots of Ha-Ha’s.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 1

"Honey, said this husband to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper."

What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!

I know all that.

Then why did you invite a friend for supper?

Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting married.

***********

‘Doctor’, the embarrassed man said, ‘I have a sexual problem. I can’t get it up for my wife any-more.’

‘Mr. Bhanot, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do.’

So, the worried fellow returned with his wife the following pad.

The doctor greeted the coupled and then said, ‘Please remove your clothes, Mrs. Bhanot.’ The woman obliged and removed her clothing.

‘Okay, now turn all the way around... Now, lie down please... Uh-huh, I see. Alright, you can put your clothes back on.’

While the woman was busy dressing herself again, the doctor took the husband aside. ‘You’re in perfect health,’ he said to the man. ‘Your wife didn’t give me an erection either.’

***********

Ramesh and Suresh talking one afternoon when Ramesh tells Suresh, You know, I reckon I’m ‘bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m going to do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go and all.

"Three years ago you said to go to Goa. I went to Goa and Kumkum got pregnant.

"Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Srinagar, and Kumkum got pregnant again.

Last year you suggested Banglore and darned if Kumkum didn’t get pregnant again.

Suresh asks Ramesh, So, what you going to do this year that’s different?

Ramesh says, This year I’m taking Kumkum with me.

***********

A lady pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porno film and it was due out in a month.

A month later, the musician went to a porno theatre to see it. With her collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row, next to a couple whom also seemed to be in disguise.

The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M and even a dog.

After a while, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, I’m only here to listen to the music.

Yeah? replied the man. We’re only here to see our dog.

***********

A young couple on the brink of divorce visits a marriage counsellor. The counsellor asks the wife what is the problem.

She responds My husband suffers from pre-mature ejaculation.

The counsellor turns to her husband and in-quires Is that true?

The husband replies Well not exactly, it’s her that suffers not me.

***********

The man came home drunk at four in the morning, and his wife was all over him, yelling at him, crying because she thought he was with another woman.

No, honey, I swear, I was at this bar, and it was so fancy that even the urinals were made of gold. She said she didn’t believe him so she called the bar. Hello, she said, I just want to ask one question. My husband claims to have spent the night at your bar and I have one question: Are your urinals covered in gold?"

To which she heard the bartender said, "Hey, Gulzari, I think

Reviews for Wife & Husband Jokes

[vinod · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

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