The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: Surviving Through and Recovering from the Five Stages That Accompany the Loss of Love

Written by Susan Anderson

Narrated by Randye Kaye

Like Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's groundbreaking On Death and Dying, Susan Anderson's book clearly defines the five phases of a different kind of grieving—grieving over a lost relationship. An experienced professional who has specialized in helping people with loss, heartbreak, and abandonment for more than two decades, Anderson gives this subject the serious attention it deserves.



The Journey from Abandonment to Healing is designed to help all victims of emotional breakups—whether they are suffering from a recent loss or a lingering wound from the past; whether they are caught up in patterns that sabotage their own relationships or they are in a relationship where they no longer feel loved. From the first stunning blow to starting over, this book provides a complete program for abandonment recovery.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tantor Media, Inc
• Release date: Sep 2, 2014
• ISBN: 9781494573720

Susan Anderson

Susan Anderson has devoted more than 30 years of clinical experience and research to helping people overcome abandonment trauma and its aftermath of self-sabotaging patterns. Founder of the abandonment recovery movement, she reaches out through her websites, workshops, and media to share her methods of abandonment recovery with abandonment survivors from around the world. Anderson is author of four trailblazing books including Journey from Abandonment to Healing and Taming Your Outer Child which guide people through a protocol specific to healing abandonment, heartbreak, and loss. Her websites are www.abandonment.net and www.outerchild.net.

Reviews for The Journey from Abandonment to Healing

[Andrew Dunsmore · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Susan Anderson wrote an excellent book. The book has most definitely helped in my understanding of why, it has taught me how to best work through the healing process and propelled me to grow into an abandoment survivor as opposed to a victim. Thank you Susan! The Narrator, Randye Kaye was my favorite out of any in the plethora of audiobooks I have listened too. Her warm, soothing, compassionate voice, excellent enunciation and character play made for an awesome listening experience. Hugs and Hand Pounds Ladies. Thanks!

[Jakov No · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Some great stuff inside for people who cannot detach themselves from what they are going through after a breakup. Like that it actually adresses the biochemistry of it all. Not giving it five stars because it treats those that were left purely as victims who did nothing wrong and like they never hurt or left someone.

[Lina Vraka · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This book was an amazing help in my journey towards healing. Exactly what I needed to start and continue the process of loving myself and enjoying the love of those who haven't abandoned me

[Marjorie Jorie · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Life changer, I couldn’t find anyone that could understand what I was going through, this book helped me to realise many things and with therapy my heart healed in a matter of months

[familyresourcecentre · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Review by Jessica: "This book is one-of-a-kind, and hopefully the first of many future books examining abandonment and separation as a legitimate source of grief and trauma. Susan Anderson is spot-on in describing how and why abandonment by another person -- whether through an unexpected break-up or an intentional "up-and-leave" disappearance of a loved one -- can bring about the same sensation of loss associated with grieving death. Anderson further explores how the grief of abandonment carries with it its own unique set of challenges, including stigma from society (e.g. "Wow, it's been a year and he's still not over his divorce.. like really?"), a sensation of betrayal and all the anxiety and shame that produces, and the punishing cycles of non-acceptance (e.g. "One day they'll realize they made a mistake and come back.."). I've read many a self-help book and this was the first I felt touched on a topic that was so specific and relevant to my own experience, and likely the experiences of many others.

As Anderson breaks down her S.W.I.R.L. stages of recovery, she introduces many visualization techniques. At first these may come off as a little bit unusual or over-imaginative. She introduces the common theme of the inner child, but then pushes that boundary further to having the reader visualize entire conversations between your inner child, outer child, and adult self. There are various case studies in the book showing examples of others who used these techniques to address and manage their emotions. There is an all-or-nothing approach here, if you choose not to do these exercises, you won't benefit from it whatsoever and the merit of this book ends at defining abandonment loss. But, if you choose to give her methods a go, you will be surprised. The tactic of separating our instinctive feelings, impulsive reactions, and mature reasoning into three distinct characters makes it easier to 'depersonalize' our emotions and play referee between conflicting feelings. The idea is that your older adult self, and rebellious outer child, can come together to protect the inner child, your vulnerable childhood self, and give that child the protection it needs. Essentially, you protect and validate yourself, rather than needing this protection to come from the outside. This is an interesting technique to battle the mindset of codependency, because there is no need for 'another' to complete you, when you already have 3 versions of yourself to contend with! Hearing their "conversation" allows for your thoughts to be processed, with each side having to give an explanation and coming to a resolution. This is not a technique I would necessarily use all the time, but I find it helpful in situations where you may feel conflicted about a situation or a person, and you want to get to the bottom of why your reasoning pulls you one way, while your emotions pull you another way. "