Ep. 25 – Bryson, Age 10: Handling teasing about religion | Moving past us-versus-them thinkingBryson wants to know why kids are sometimes mean about religion.Scroll down for discussion questions, a transcript, and how to submit your child's question.Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at EileenKennedyMoore.com. Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get episodes sent to your email plus Q&A posts for parents.ENTER THE CONTESTTake a photo of your cat or dog with a (real) copy of my new, funny, and useful book, Growing Feelings: A Kids’ Guide to Dealing with Emotions about Friends and Other Kids (for ages 6-12). Post it on social media with the hashtag #GrowingFeelings. Winners will receive fun pet toys!SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTICAdults, please use your smartphone's memo function or an audio app to record your child's question. Hold the phone close to your child's mouth to make sure the recording is clear. Have your child state:1) their FIRST NAME (or another name),2) their AGE, and3) a BRIEF QUESTION or concern about friendship. (Please do not include any friends' names.)Submit the question at DrFriendtastic.com/podcast or email it to DrF@EileenKennedyMoore.com. (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)THINK ABOUT IT QUESTIONS to discuss with your childHow many different religions can you name? What do you know about them?What examples can you think of in your life of us-versus-them thinking or in-group bias (meaning kids prefer people in their own group compared to another group)? What do you think might help these groups get along better?Have you ever been picked on or treated unfairly because of your religion? Have you ever heard someone else getting picked on because of their religion? How did you handle it?Do you think kids or adults are more accepting of differences? Why?Why is it wonderful that everyone is not exactly like you?TRANSCRIPTHi, there! I’m Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, also known as Dr. Friendtastic. I’m an author and clinical psychologist based in Princeton, NJ.Here’s today’s question:Hi, my name is Bryson. My age is 10, and my question today is why do people tease other kids or their religion or because their religion?Hi, Bryson. Thanks for sending in your question! You’ve touched on an ironic topic. Ironic means what really happens is the opposite of what we’d expect. Religion is supposed to be about being a good person, so we’d expect people who care about religion to be extra kind. But sometimes, in history and also in modern times, religion is used as an excuse for being mean to certain people. So why do some kids tease others because of their religion? Often it’s because of what they hear from adults. Unfortunately, it’s very easy for people to fall into us-versus-them thinking, and we tend to think that our group–however we define that–is better than the other group. We also tend to like our group members more than nonmembers. That’s called in-group bias, and it can lead to in-group favoritism, which means treating our group members better than we treat other group members. Scientists have found that in-group bias happens in kids as young as 3 years of age, and it happens even if the groups are created in meaningless or random ways.  You may have noticed lots of different kinds of in-group bias: Fourth graders versus fifth graders, students in this classroom versus that classroom, boys versus girls, kids who root for this sports team versus that sports team…It’s hard to completely eliminate in-group bias because we tend to feel more comfortable with people we think are “like us,” whatever that means. But getting to know people from other groups and cooperating with them can help increase both understanding and liking. If someone is making fun of YOU because of your religion, talk with your grown-ups about how to handle it. If the other kids are usually kind and just don’t realize their comments upset you, you may want to expl