Empaths And Narcissists: How To Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse As A HSP, Recognize Them In Future, Escape Energy Vampires & Overcome Codependency & Overthinking In Relationships

By Tiegan Williams

Discover How You As An Empath Can Finally Break Free Of The Narcissists Grip, Overcome Codependency and Start Living The Life You Deserve As A Highly Sensitive Person. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Spent Pens Publications
• Release date: Jan 21, 2024
• ISBN: 9781998101726

Book preview

Introduction

I have been in relationships that were not healthy for me and left me feeling emotionally and intellectually depleted. I was taught that I was dumb, that I was undatable, and that I did not deserve to be happy; as a result, I felt trapped. I had no one to turn to for help. As a direct consequence of this, I found that I had a need to be likeable to everyone in my immediate environment. You must have understood by now that the situation did not result in anything positive in any way, because there is absolutely no possibility of a narcissist ever loving another person.

Two things about my ex-girlfriend stood out to me: her serene confidence and her appreciation. Only a few people understood and appreciated her dry sense of humor. As far as her manners were concerned, she always displayed an elevated level of professionalism and courtesy, even though she was sometimes reserved. She was a model of genius, calm composure, and inappropriately subtle humor. Despite this, I did not recognize that she was a narcissist until much later in our relationship.

At the beginning, I was thinking that there is no way that I could pull off that woman. When we first met, she seemed like the ideal companion: she was charming, loving, and in love with me. It was a completely different sort of relationship for me; in comparison to my ex, who was tremendously harsh, antisocial, and demeaning, and I could not believe it at first and I felt huge relief when I finally got to talk to this new person. I should have known better since it was too perfect.

She earned my affection in a short amount of time. But a narcissist hides behind the scenes, despite how beautiful things may look to an outsider and start relationships with extreme intensity.

Beginnings are often intense and fast. This should warn anybody who jumps into a relationship with a narcissist. Because you're emotionally engaged with and infatuated with this person, and at the same time puzzled and saddened by your ex’s nasty behavior, the relationship is becoming confusing and abusing. Because of the distress and uncertainty, the relationship is getting worse.

At the beginning, you've been made to think you'll be part of a lovely love story, but it's far more dangerous and poisonous than you expected. When truth and fantasy mix, you become a shadow of yourself. You fall into the narcissist's web of manipulation and abuse. This book teaches you how to cope with narcissists by explaining what they are, how they damage others, and how their behavior affects you. I'll also discuss how to set boundaries with a narcissist and avoid one-sided interactions.

Also included is advice on how to leave a narcissistic relationship. Even if you don't plan to do this or don't understand the concept right now, there's still value in reading this. Inspiration is what I want you to take away from this book. My goal is to inspire you to become a better communicator, even if it is simply refusing to accept certain behaviors from the narcissist or learning more tools to help you communicate more effectively.

Chapter 1. What Is a Narcissist?

History of Narcissism

It is common to use the story of Narcissus to illustrate the vein and self-absorbed nature of a narcissist; yet there is a dearth of in-depth discussion of the roots of the full-fledged personality disorder. It is a fact that narcissism is becoming more prevalent in our society; nevertheless, what does it look like in practice, particularly as a personality disorder? A narcissistic wound in childhood, a pattern of idealization and devaluation by the parent, or even a neurological standpoint that focuses mainly on how a narcissist's brain has structural abnormalities related to compassion are just some of the many theories that have been put forward to explain how an individual develops narcissism.

However, there is still no conclusive solution to the question of what causes an individual to develop narcissistic personality disorder. When it comes to the possibility of children buying the condition, there are specific risk factors that should be considered. Children who develop narcissistic tendencies are often the offspring of narcissistic parents, adopted children who are overindulged by their adoptive parents or face competition with their biological siblings, the children of successful parents, particularly if the child does not have the same ability as their parents, overindulged, wealthy children, and the children of divorce, more specifically, a divorce in which the child is vied over and is treated as an object to be won.

Narcissists may have experienced something terrible when they were younger, such as emotional neglect or physical neglect at the hands of an overbearing parent. It's possible that this profound trauma they had as children, what psychiatrists refer to as a narcissistic wound, caused them to shut off the portions of themselves that allowed them to empathize with other people as an extreme kind of self-protection. Compensatory narcissism is a self-protective false self that enables a child to believe in an illusion of superiority to conceal feelings of low self-worth. This may have been caused by a parent who neglected them, abused them, and invalidated them, which resulted in compensatory narcissism.

On the other hand, there are theories that suggest that narcissism can be produced by overvaluing the child. These theories suggest that this can lead to narcissism by allowing the child to continue acting like a child for the rest of their life without any consequences or any basis in objective reality for their presumed perfection. This pattern of overvaluation rather than devaluation by a parent may have led to a child's arrested emotional development, which is another way of saying that the child has been spoiled to the point where they have developed an excessive sense of entitlement and disregard for the emotions of others.

We also see narcissism develop when parents treat their children as trophies or live vicariously through them. This has the effect of degrading and objectifying the children, teaching them that they are objects, which in turn teaches the narcissistic child to view others as objects for their disposal while also overvaluing them as highly significant. Narcissism can also develop when children are treated as trophies or when parents live vicariously through their children. In this situation, a child may develop narcissism because of a combination of overvaluation and neglect. The parent may tend to view the child as perfect, but they may also instill a sense of worthlessness in the child by not providing the child with healthier feedback that confirms who they really are as a person. This can lead to the child developing a narcissistic personality. 

Having said that, it is possible that parents are not solely to blame for the development of narcissism in their children, and there are many parents who have narcissistic children but offer a caring and affirming environment for their children at home. At this point, we must consider the biological predispositions that are handed down within families. Research on twins has shown that narcissism is a frequent and heritable feature. In addition, there is a medical and neurological perspective that compels us to think about the ways in which the brain of a person with narcissist personality disorder is distinct from the brain of a person who does not have it.

It is interesting to note that psychopaths can also show brain abnormalities; psychopaths not only show abnormalities in empathy, but they also show abnormalities in the processing of prosocial emotions such as guilt and moral reasoning. Research has discovered that there are in fact structural abnormalities related to compassion and empathy in narcissistic individuals, which is an interesting point to make considering that psychopaths can also prove brain abnormalities. Although each explanation makes sense and is supported by its own body of research, it is important for me to emphasize that physicians still do not know for definite what factors contribute to narcissist personality disorder.

There are other aspects that might cause some illnesses to be more prevalent than others in particular nations or appear in a manner that is distinct from one setting to another. We must consider the fact that there are risk factors and protective variables that influence not only whether an individual develops a full-fledged personality disorder because of narcissism, but also how the condition presents in that individual. In most cases, it is not a question of nature versus nurture but rather a mix of the two.

It is not true that someone's abusive conduct is not harmful, that they are not accountable for their abusive behavior, or that their abusive behavior does not influence the person who is being abused just because they have a problem.

On the contrary, in fact. It is possible for a person to be held responsible for their acts even if they have a mental illness but choose not to seek professional help to change their behavior that is harmful to others and instead utilizes their sickness as an excuse to continue abusing other people. We can have compassion for the fact that our abuser may have been traumatized, but we cannot let that compassion blind us to the fact that if they are unwilling to change or receive treatment—which is the case with many narcissists—we need to make our own self-compassion and self-care a priority to detach from them. You will eventually be used as an object to offer adoration, praise, attention, and anything else they may need at the time in this kind of one-sided relationship; also called as a source of narcissistic supply.

Narcissists have a false self that is often very charming and very different from their true selves, and if you get involved with one, you run the risk of falling victim to a vicious cycle of narcissistic abuse that can be very difficult to break free from.

The cognitive dissonance that comes from falling in love with an