The Neutral Advantage

By Mark W. Mayhew

Are you tired of being trapped in a cycle of negativity and self-doubt? Do you find yourself constantly overthinking and struggling to break free from the grip of negative self-talk? It's time to embrace "The Neutral Advantage" and reclaim control o

• Language: English
• Publisher: Singer/Mayhew Media
• Release date: Jun 14, 2023
• ISBN: 9781088217382

Book preview

Introduction

It was a Wednesday, and there I was again—another shitty day in a string of shitty days and weeks. While it felt like I was the only one pulling their weight at work, this week seemed to be particularly tougher. I had been tasked with putting a presentation together for a group of investors, but everything I brought to my team was rejected. When I pitched their ideas to our executives, I was scolded and ridiculed for giving them subpar work. By this point, I was doing everything myself, but I couldn’t get past the thought that I wasn’t good enough to be in charge of a this project.

Screw it, I thought. Things weren’t progressing, so I was going to go get a mid-afternoon coffee, and of course, my favorite coffee spot was closed for remodeling. This meant I had to go across the street to Starbucks. They had already messed up my order twice that week, but surely they couldn’t mess it up for a third time.

They messed it up—again. It really felt like they were just doing this to screw with me.

I took my cup of disappointment and left. I needed to be back at the office. All I could do now was hope that nothing else would go wrong. That’s when I realized my tire was flat. I had driven over a nail from the nearby construction. Of course, I could have changed it, but I had put my spare tire on my wife’s car the week before. I felt like the world had just turned its sights on me and was determined to make my life a living hell.

It has taken me some time to realize that the world isn’t out to get me. It’s hard to believe, but this is how most people today live their lives these days.

Would you say that you’re a negative person? Most people don’t, but is your view of the world typically cynical or pessimistic? Do you spend time frequently dwelling on all the bad stuff that has ever happened in your life instead of something good that might have just happened? What about that tiny little voice in your head—the one that loves to give commentary to everything you do?

You don’t deserve good things.

All the worst things will happen to you and nobody else but you.

Why bother trying?

Or worst of all, You’re a piece of shit.

Nobody sets out to be a Negative Nancy, but something happens, and suddenly there is that voice playing on repeat in your mind. It tells you these things. It critiques your every move, and it seems to be the loudest when you fail. When something good happens, there is always a but. You have likely been listening to this voice for so long that you’re actually believing it.

It’s a habit that you probably have wanted to break for so long, but you keep repeating the same vicious cycle. This habit of negative self-talk is a tough habit to kick, but it is absolutely crucial that you do if you want to live a life that’s actually worth living.

Negativity Is a Problem

Negativity is a pervasive issue that affects a variety of people. It has no limits to a person’s age, race, or their background. Once it manifests, it is hard to shake off the feeling. Several things can cause negative thoughts to form. It can happen through a general dissatisfaction with how life is going, or it can come from a hardship like job loss, death, or relationship failure. Negativity can also be a product that manifests because of other mental issues like anxiety or depression.

These thoughts and emotions can consume your mind, which will drain your energy and eventually drive you to a point where there isn’t even joy in everyday experiences. The problem is that it’s never one set of negative thoughts. One set of negative thoughts will breed more negativity, and it will attract all of your focus. This mindset is going to attract more negativity into your life through lifestyle choices and daily habits. Negative thinking is a vicious cycle that can really screw with your head and drag you down. Eventually, it finds its way into your relationships, work, and basically every aspect of your life.

So, this is one of those positive thinking books, right?

No, this isn’t one of those rah-rah–positive thinking can fix everything books. Positive thinking only works part of the time, unlike negative thinking, which operates 100% of the time. But, fear not, because in this book, we’re going to get to the root of your negativity. Together we will find some practical and tangible strategies for overcoming negativity. You will be shown how to change your mindset, how to discover the truth on how to create a more abundant outlook on life, and how to have a neutral mindset.

With the right tools and techniques, you can get out of that negative rut you have found yourself in and start living your best life ever.

What Do I Do?

There is no simple solution to overcoming these thoughts and feelings, but a great place to start is by recognizing that your negativity is a choice. You are the one who has the power to choose how you react to the circumstances of your life. Getting caught up in negative thoughts and emotions is easy to do, but that also means you can train your mind to focus on the positive aspects instead.

One of the most effective ways to bring that positivity in is by practicing gratitude. As a person focuses on things they are grateful for, the less likely it is for them to dwell on the negative aspects of life. It’s effective, and it’s easy to do.

Another strategy to fight that negativity you feel is to reframe these thoughts and feelings into positive ones. It can be a bit more difficult than being thankful for what you have, but by challenging your negative self-talk and replacing it with positive beliefs, you can empower yourself to transform your mindset. This will eventually lead you to a place of optimism. This is how you think neutrally. Neutral thinking is looking at the truth of a situation, but more than that, it is making a well-thought-out decision to handle it with positivity.

In this book, there are going to be practical exercises and techniques that will help you cultivate that neutral mindset. From mindfulness practices to cognitive-behavioral therapy techniques, we will explore a range of strategies that ultimately help you break free from the shackles of negativity that will help you have a more joyful and fulfilling life. Whether you are struggling with mild negativity or more severe effects like depression or anxiety, this book will provide you with the tools and support you need to make those changes.

Disclaimer: If you have anxiety and depression, these tools can help you, but they should not be used in place of a therapist.

Yeah, But Who Are You?

My name is Mark W. Mayhew, and I was very much in the same place that you are finding yourself in right now. I am a neutral thinker now, but there was a time where I was constantly negative. The coffee scenario above is one that I experienced years ago, and I’m sure similar days have been felt by you as well. Again, that was then, and today I am all for personal growth and development, except with a unique perspective.

For dealing with yourself, I believe in being brutally honest. I also believe in taking ownership of your life. When you can master how to navigate your thoughts and emotions, you can overcome the fear and the limitations that negativity has over you. However, while that sounds just great, I also recognize that this is a lifelong journey. There are going to be hardships while you are on this journey.

The way I approach this issue is all about finding the balance between striving to grow as a person and reaching new levels of self-improvement—but doing these things all the while accepting that you are a person. And not just a person, but a person who isn’t always going to have overly positive emotions and thoughts, which means you have to embrace this journey of life and find meaning and purpose.

So, if you’re looking for that unique approach—the brutally honest approach—then that’s what I will give you throughout this book. We will combine honesty, wisdom, and a healthy dose of humor. Together, we can work to unleash your full potential and create a life you love—a life where you can handle anything that comes your way, even if it’s two deadlines, a bad coffee order, and a flat tire.

What Do You Get Out of Reading This Book?

Overcoming negative thoughts and self-talk can change your life in ways you could have never imagined. When you shift your mindset to one that brings in more positive emotions, you will experience both improved mental and physical health. There will be greater resilience in the face of challenges, an increase in your self-esteem and confidence, stronger relationships, and, again, a greater overall satisfaction with your life.

When you learn how to identify your negative thoughts and self-talk, you can challenge them. Eventually, those self-defeating patterns, thoughts, and behaviors will dissipate as you develop clarity