Tony's Choice

By Tony Jennings

Tony’s Choice offers a powerful and inspiring journey of self-discovery. Written with the intention of helping others overcome life’s struggles, this book delves into the struggles of low confidence and teaches readers how to find the answers they need to lead a happier and more fulfilling life. Tony shares his own personal experiences and insights, providing a roadmap for readers to overcome unhappiness and unexplained pain, and ultimately find freedom and enjoyment in life. Don’t suffer in silence, let Tony’s Choice guide you to a better life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Jun 23, 2023
• ISBN: 9781035803842

Tony Jennings

Tony was born in Dublin Ireland, and has lived there all his life. Uneducated he worked at manual labor up to his sixties. In his sixties he decided to go to adult education, at Saoir-Ollscoil na hÉireann, free University of Ireland, were he went on to receive a BA degree in Liberal Arts. Tony’s reasons for this booklet, is to help and impower anyone who may be unhappy with a relationship, with themselves, suffering from unexplained illness, or perhaps life in general.

Book preview

Tony’s Choice

Tony Jennings

Austin Macauley Publishers

Tony’s Choice

About the Author

Copyright Information ©

Acknowledgement

About the Author

Tony was born in Dublin Ireland, and has lived there all his life. Uneducated he worked at manual labour up to his sixties. In his sixties he decided to go to adult education, at Saoir-Ollscoil na hÉireann, free University of Ireland, were he went on to receive a BA degree in Liberal Arts. Tony’s reasons for this booklet, is to help and impower anyone who may be unhappy with a relationship, with themselves, suffering from unexplained illness, or perhaps life in general.

Copyright Information ©

Tony Jennings 2023

The right of Tony Jennings to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

All of the events in this memoir are true to the best of the author’s memory. The views expressed in this memoir are solely those of the author.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781035803835 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781035803842 (ePub e-book)

www.austinmacauley.com

First Published 2023

Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd®

1 Canada Square

Canary Wharf

London

E14 5AA

Acknowledgement

A very special thanks to Sister Basil Gaffney, without her unending patience, help and encouragement this would not be possible, and thanks also to Mairéad Ni Chíosóig and Saor-Ollscoil na hÉireann for her support and the use of the library.

I was born in Dublin in 1953; the eldest of five to a working-class family. My childhood years were traumatic; my father was alcoholic and violence in the home was frequent. This had a profound effect on me as a child; my memories of my school days are very confused. I was unaware of it at the time, but throughout my entire life, I have suffered with anxiety. Because of this, my concentration in school was zero, and I felt that I was no good at anything. At that period in my life, school was a punishment; believing that I was no good at anything and trying to do the small bit of homework I got, was impossible. My young life was very simplistic; do not ask questions and do what you are told. At 12 years of age, I left school and started a lifetime of manual labour. Going through life without education was extremely difficult; the obstacles are too numerous to mention. I married at 20 and my wife gave birth to our first child, a boy, in 1975 and our second child, a boy, was born in 1979. The two boys are a tonic.

At a late stage in my life, I received a flyer in the letter box; it offered an opportunity to study for a BA degree in liberal arts for mature adults from Saor-Ollscoil na hÉireann (Free University of Ireland). This got into my subconscious, and as the days passed, I became more and more interested. Having no formal education, it was very difficult for me to take the first step; I had no confidence. But deep down, this was something I wanted, just for myself, just to feel good about myself. So, I got the courage to go in that door and make inquiries; this was extremely difficult for me. Not having confidence in oneself affects almost everything you do. Just to be able to articulate your opinion in a work situation is impossible. As a result, you do what you are told and go through life frustrated. I have worked with people with little or no education, and others with education, some with confidence and others not. I soon realised that for those with confidence, life was a lot easier.

Upon entering the door of Saor-Ollscoil na hÉireann, I was greeted by a lady who introduced herself as Mairéad. I started the conversation by referring to the flyer I had with me, and to the reservations I felt regarding my suitability. From the very start, Mairéad made me feel comfortable. She smiled and said, The only requirement is a love of learning. This feeling I was experiencing was overwhelming; for the first time in my life I felt a complete person. Mairéad went on to explain, The BA degree in liberal arts is awarded on a basis of a minimum of 50 credits between course work and a thesis. The student aims to accumulate 25 or more credits from course work over a minimum of three years. Credits are also awarded for presentations made, attendance at seminars, field trips and summer schools. The university is a free and independent institute, and all the lecturers and administrators give their time free of charge.

I would strongly encourage any person who has no confidence in themselves not to leave working towards gaining confidence too late in life, as I have done. Make the choice to do something about it. You are a human being; each person in this world is special. You are no less a person than the leader of your country or the pope. Choose to go to classes; perhaps assertiveness classes; public speaking classes; joining a choir is excellent; singing in a group gives a person confidence plus the added bonus of interacting with others. I would encourage anybody suffering from a sense of inferiority to choose to say to yourself, I am no different from anyone else. I can choose to go through life feeling like this or I can choose to do something about it.

The first year was strange. Getting to know my strengths and weaknesses was difficult; most things went over my head. The second year, I began to settle down. I was starting to feel comfortable. I was feeling good about myself; my confidence was building. It was around this time that I decided psychology interested me the most. The following year, a new tutor arrived for psychology, Sister Basil Gaffney. Sister Basil introduced choice theory psychology to the class. Choice theory psychology, also known as Glaserian psychology, is the psychology of a world-renowned 20th century psychologist, Dr William Glasser (1925–2013). Choice theory psychology emphasises a person’s control over his or her own feelings and actions and teaches the concept that all behaviour is chosen in order to satisfy each person’s five basic needs which are love and belonging, power, freedom, fun and survival.

One of the first things Sister Basil asked the class was, If you are driving a car and you come up to a red traffic light, do you have to stop?

I, for one, said, Yes.

Sister Basil said, You do not have to stop, rather you choose to stop. I was fascinated by this response. I went on to learn that all anyone or anything outside of us can do is give us information. Bells, buzzers, lights, and whistles give information; it is a