Journey To Self-Awareness

By Kushal Patel

This book goes into how we can be more aware of the negative thoughts that affect us in different areas of our life. The author goes into how we can navigate through our minds to achieve a more enjoyable life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Oct 1, 2019
• ISBN: 9781543988444

Book preview

life.

Chapter 1

My own story began as an Indian child of a multi-generational immigrant family. I was born in Austin, a city filled with progressive ideologies, rich culture, and people of all backgrounds and beliefs. The trademark of Keep Austin Weird exemplified the city's vibrant atmosphere. As a child growing up, I always found myself observing others, and curious about everything around me. My aunt once told me a story, that when I was a child I used to bombard her with endless questions. So many questions, that even she got tired. And I don't blame her. This curiosity still resides in me today, and by using this book to teach others, I also use it to teach myself along the way. There is always so much to learn in this world, and it is an endless experience. As Mahatma Gandhi said, Live as if you were to die tomorrow, and learn as if you will live forever.

When I was young I had this idea that success equates to happiness and well-being. This idea was ingrained by my family and the society around me. When I went to social gatherings, I was always asked by others about school and what I was achieving. It seemed I was measured by my success in school, and not the intrinsic qualities that make me who I am. If I did not achieve some optimal level of success, I would essentially never be happy. What was worse was that this level of success was also dictated by the standards of others.

Success meant being a doctor, lawyer, engineer, or a well-paid businessman. But what I found was that those beliefs were not ideals that I truly connected with. I saw people who had everything and were never happy, while I also saw people who had very little and were always happy. The truly happy people were the ones that were deeply connected to who they were and to those around them. I found that success did not dictate happiness, but the connection did. This connection is what instilled self-love.

Beyond my own journey, I am also thankful for the one my parents made to give me the life I have today. My father was born in a small village in India called Anand. While my mother was born in Tanzania. My father faced tragedy as soon as he was born, as he lost his mother through childbirth complications. But with the love of his aunt, he was able to acclimate himself into their family and soon called her his new mother. Without this support, he could have been abandoned as a potential orphan, loitering in the streets with no direction.

This can be traumatizing for a child and they continue to carry the weight as they grow up. His act of humility and not displaying resentment is a true testament of his environment and who he was as a person. My mother, on the other hand, faced the struggles of moving to a boarding school in India and being far away from her parents for long periods of time. She later lost her father, who I was never able to meet. Through the stories of my family, I continue to admire and acknowledge the man my grandfather was. I heard how he always sought knowledge and was committed to not only being a great lawyer but an inspiring person to all the lives he touched.

As I tried to understand my parent's stories, I tried to connect the details. I have always liked the idea of connecting ideas and thoughts to formulate a greater understanding. The one idea that resonated most is how both of my parents lost one of their parents at a young age and the impact it has on people in similar circumstances. This is always heartbreaking and difficult in any situation. Through a psychological perspective, however, losing a parent brings with it the loss of the caregiver who can help guide and shape the child’s development. The first few years of a child's growth are the most unwavering and crucial times of development.

The brain of a child is being myelinated and synapses are forming. Every negative experience starts as a small weed in the mind, that with time, it grows and grows until it develops into a forest. For example, a child gets yelled at for not doing the right thing and gets hit soon after. That experience implants the feeling of helplessness and fear. In the beginning, the child will cry and then carry on with their day. But as these experiences are more frequent, the child will instinctively flinch whenever a voice is raised and they try to obey the parent. This seems good for the parent, but what about the child’s needs?

The child may compensate for these feelings as they grow up by keeping a distance in relationships or grow increasingly anxious. They may keep their feelings guarded because of the fear that they will be judged for what they say. Losing a parent during these times only magnifies the effects. For so many, these traumas remain unresolved for years into adulthood or even throughout someone's entire life. These issues become integrated into the subconscious mind and they begin to influence our reality.

Unfortunately, we are not trained as children