Aging Up, Not Out

By Clarence Ray Miller

Everyone comes from different backgrounds and life situations. The way we manage and deal with these challenges is the key to our success. Growing up in the foster care system, I learned this to be true at a young age. In this book, I advise and lead you toward handling life when aging out of the foster care system. What career path is right for

• Language: English
• Publisher: Clarence Miller
• Release date: Jun 1, 2021
• ISBN: 9781737164814

Book preview

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Aging Up,Not Out

Refusing to become a statistic after the foster care system

By

clarence Miller

Copyright © 2021 by Daniel Miller

All rights reserved.

Book Cover designed by Ardent Artist Books

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

eBook ISBN: 978-1-7371648-1-4

Paperback ISBN: 978-1-7371648-0-7

Intro

My childhood was not filled with sleepovers, vacations, and school plays. It didn’t look like a normal childhood. My childhood was filled with foster homes and orphanages.

I was introduced to the foster care system at age 5 — born fatherless and to a mother who could not walk. I was bounced around between foster homes and mental institutions until I reached the age of 10. Many of the foster homes were in completely different cities and were at various socioeconomic levels, giving me a wide variety of life experiences.

My first adoption only lasted a year. I was abruptly returned to a local children’s hospital with no warning and was never picked up. Following this, I returned to the foster care system for several more years before I was adopted again by my current family.

Being adopted didn’t mean the process of becoming an adult was easy. I was often misunderstood, judged, and told I would never make something of myself.

Along my journey, I met many people who were in the same exact circumstance as

myself. I quickly learned not everything in life is fair. Everyone, including myself, comes from different backgrounds and situations. The way we manage and deal with those challenges is the key to our success.

Throughout my young life, I tried to make decisions that had a positive impact. The result of these decisions has been a stable and happy life. I have a good job, a long term relationship, and a bright future ahead. Many children who go through the foster care system are not as blessed as I am.

Could my life have turned out better or worse had I made different choices?

Probably.

Despite everything going against me — all the statistics saying I should be addicted or homeless — here I am today. I am thriving and finding my place in the world.

This is why I’m writing this book for you. It’s written by a former foster child for future foster children everywhere.

I’m here as your guide, to give you a big brother perspective on real life. I’ve packed this book full of the advice and information nobody told me when I was in your shoes. I wish someone had handed me this book when I was a teenager and given me a bit more direction and help.

My goal is to see you happy — really happy.

Happiness might feel unattainable right now. Maybe you fear the future. Maybe you’re angry because you feel alone. Maybe you’re struggling with your mental health. Maybe you’ve already made some negative choices with hard consequences.

There is still a good life ahead of you if you choose it.

I have found four primary aspects of life that determine my overall happiness. They have solidified my adult life and developed me into the person I am today.

Who You Love

The people you surround yourself with matter. They can either help you make good decisions to move your life forward or they can drag you down a road you don’t want to go. This doesn’t just apply to romantic relationships, but friendships too. It’s commonly said that you become like the five people you spend the most time with-something I believe is true. Be mindful of the people you associate with, as they will shape who you become.

Where You Live

This is