Last Words

By Patricia Rapley and Natriaaa

Trisha has written Last Words with each step of her journey in mind. These scribblings were first written for her blog as a representation of every milestone she overcame or that directly impacted her healing. From cover to cover you can get a real sense of all the obstacles Trisha has overcome to be the woman she is today.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Mar 21, 2023
• ISBN: 9781447786696

Book preview

Copyright © 2023 by Patricia Rapley

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means - electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise - without the written permission of the publisher.

Self-published by: Patricia Rapley

Illustrations by: Natriaaa

ISBN:  978-1-4477-8669-6

Imprint: Lulu.com

From the moment I felt the butterflies in my tummy when they first moved until today when I watched them smile I've never felt so much love. I watched them go from strength to strength, overcoming all the obstacles placed in front of them and the milestones of growing up. Each makes me prouder than the last!                                                                                          I've drawn strength from every tear they've cried and every smile they made knowing that everything I've overcome was for them too.                                                                                                                      It hasn't always been easy, and I haven't always done things right, but I've tried the best I could to give them the world. Today, tomorrow, and every day after that will be exactly the same and nothing will ever change that. I will travel across the world for them and give my life to them. But what I am grateful for the most is they chose me no matter how bad things got or how many times I didn't have all the answers. They embraced my inability to see my own worth and all the mistakes I’ve made. They comforted me when I had little to no strength and always found a way to make me smile even when I couldn't find the strength to. I've heard people say children save            parents’ lives and I couldn’t agree more but somehow I felt at times they gave me life through living theirs. With each child's birth my faith, my light, and my reason to continue in life were restored. They gave me purpose, a reason to continue breathing, and a never-ending supply of unconditional love. Always greeted with a smile from the time they opened their eyes, and even on their worst days. I've come close to losing two of them as they came into the world taking their first breaths and the other two through the journey other and that’s what matters most.                                                                            They survived by the grace of God by our sides. We are the team and the family I had hoped and prayed for, a perfect collaboration of a crazy, sometimes mad, happy family. We may not be the

ideal number of mums and dads, but I am here and that's what matters!                                                                              I'll always be the one person I pray they run to no matter how old they or I get. It’s funny as they grow they never seem to be seen from my eyes as anything but my babies even if you're seven-foot-high.                                                            To my first-born daughter - Keyarna you were born through an emergency c-section after mummy struggled with seizures while in labour (I had faith in your strength long before you entered this world).                                                                                        To my first-born son - Kye you came out fighting for your first breath and you came into the world after I had complications in labour, and you were born not breathing. (you were born a fighter, a warrior, and I have never stopped believing in your strength).                                                                                          To my second-born son - Bryden you were a little miracle I was told I wouldn’t be able to have any more children. You were born but soon after you stopped breathing (you rekindled my strength in God after I prayed for your life to be saved).                                                                                                        To my second-born daughter - Shaniya you came into this world in a hurry and melted our hearts with every breath you took (you stopped breathing while I was breastfeeding you just after you were born but the nurses did an amazing job to bring you back to us).                                                                                  Four beautiful lives were given by God each one changing my life for the better.

The early morning sunrise is when I feel God’s presence the most and I'm most vulnerable when the day begins because it’s full of the promises I make to myself, and God and I never want to him down. It’s with his love and guidance each one is met, one after another  because I am not just a woman of my word but a vessel of his grace.                                        So, that’s why I see the blessing in all things, and I remind myself as the day starts that a positive mind first thing in the morning starts the day off right. I also know the importance of maintaining a positive energy not only for me but everyone who meets me! I know that a smile can change someone's entire day and a simple hello can make someone feel less alone. God has allowed me to walk lightly through the heavens of this earth and into people's hearts because he placed such beauty within me.                                                                      More than anything I am grateful for each day and before my feet land on the ground beside my bed I thank him. His miracles are made through the love he gave me, and the love I give to everyone, and I know how incredibly special I am because of that.                                                                                          I always tell people when they look to me, Know it is God you can see within my eyes, within my soul, and within the things, you achieve with me by your side.                                                                                                        I always want people to restore their own faith but if my presence or my story can reassure them of the miracles only faith can bring I do what I can to provide comfort through Godly verses, poetry, the spoken or the written words from the Bible. Over the years in my faith, I have come to realise that I cannot accept anything God doesn't want for me. I will always need God more than anyone else both now and in the future.                                                                      He plays a vital part in my life so do his words. Whether people understand it or not God will always come first, and it will never be them before him. I place God before myself, before my

children, and before all those, I love because, without my faith, I am nothing.                                                                                            It makes me a better woman, mother, friend, and human. I’ve learned that no matter what it is you gather strength from anyone who loves or cares about you and will never question the reasons why you hold something in the highest regard over something else.                                                                    They’ll know and understand that if it’s important to you, that’s all the explanation they’ll need, and not their love, or care for you will ever change from that.

Find the strength to always give yourself nothing but the best.

Not because you should but because you deserve nothing less.

Live your life in such a way that makes you unstoppable.

Live it your way.

I admire the courage you show when there is nothing but fear in your eyes. The way you continue despite the amount of chaos that enters your life and how you are bearing every single scar that was given to you and wearing it as you should.                                                                                  Unapologetically, uncovered, and for everyone to see. Your entire being screams strength and resilience, and I fear the things and people that doubt you. I know too well how things will end for them and a life without you is one I never want to know. You complete people just by being a part of their lives. I often wonder how much longer it might take until you have the piece you ever so need to complete your life just as you have completed theirs.                                                                                Tonight, I will pray not for myself but for you. That everything you've given and all the love you have shared return tenfold to you and never leave your heart again. Such a beautiful soul like yours should be loved and cared for more than not and I'm sorry that you’re still doing everything on your own.

Do you have any idea how beautiful you really are? Here you are on your hands and knees crawling through life offering your heart and soul to everyone else.                                                                          God did the greatest thing when he placed you into the world, he gave everyone a second chance through your love and your ability to love through the hell life puts you through.                                              And that is a miracle. You're a beautiful miracle.

You know what? This shit gets scary sometimes.                                                  You know the parts of life no one actually wants to talk about. The parts where you have no idea what to do next. Do you let go? Hang on? Give it one more shot? Do you move on to the next best thing? I know for one I haven't always known what the right thing to do was and most of the time I just close my eyes and pray for the best.                                                                                              It will either work out or it won't. Is it still scary? Of course, it is. Life can be absolutely terrifying for us all. But you still have to get up every day and do the best you can regardless of whether it turns out or not.