The Art of Chilling Out for Women: 100+ Ways to Replace Worry and Stress with Spiritual Healing, Self-Care, and Self-Love

By Angela D. Coleman

Banish burnout, worry, and stress once and for all with these practical tips and strategies for relaxing, going beyond simple self-care to chill your mind, body, and soul.

Women are resilient leaders driven to achieve but can often feel stressed out. They are being adversely impacted by the Covid-19 “she-cession” with less and less women returning to the workforce due to the multi-faceted responsibilities they face inside and outside of their homes. And in a world where heart disease is the leading cause of death for women, they can’t afford to wait to relax.

Author Angela D. Coleman’s prescription in The Art of Chilling Out for Women teaches women the value of chilling out. Here women can learn to seek self-awareness, self-love, happiness, peace, and health. With this essential resource, women will eliminate burnout, stress, and excessive personal sacrifice with practical tips and holistic wellness, like creating cleansing spaces and sacred spots, releasing childhood trauma, establishing boundaries, increasing compassion and self-love, eliminating doubt, regulating with herbs, and listening to your physical self, and much more. This book is a must-have for any woman burdened by taking on the world.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster
• Release date: Apr 4, 2023
• ISBN: 9781507219942

Angela D. Coleman

Angela D. Coleman, holistic health specialist and founder of the global nonprofit, Sisterhood Agenda, has authored over twenty books. She grew up in Newark, New Jersey, and graduated cum laude from Princeton University with an AB degree in psychology and African American studies. Later, she studied clinical psychology at Howard University, earned a degree in nonprofit management from Duke University, and received an MBA from the University of Phoenix.  She holds certifications in trauma, psychological first aid, suicide prevention, and African holistic health. 

Book preview

Part One

BODY

Do you sometimes work very hard, only to be spinning your wheels? If so, you may feel like you are moving in place, lacking progress. Your body is off-balance and showing signs of distress. You don’t have to do that. This doesn’t have to be your life.

Due to a modern lifestyle that prioritizes work over rest, chilling out has become a lost art, a forgotten science. We need to bring it back in order to save ourselves.

Your mind and spirit function best when your body is at peace. Balanced equilibrium is your instinctual resting place. Your body is the mechanism by which you get things done. It’s your body. Do what you want to do with it. But first, please respect it.

When your body wants to chill out, why not obey? It needs to restore and reset itself. Part 1 will show you how to do just that—by investing in yourself, absorbing joy and gratitude, getting restorative rest, creating a heart-filled life, and implementing many more techniques!

Learn to listen to what your body wants and needs to optimize your health and emotional well-being. It’s a wonderful creation. Listen to what it is telling you. Take care of it. Nurture it. And be kind to it.

1

DISCOVER YOUR BODY BAROMETERS

How you respond to situations is rooted deep in your personal history. These are your body barometers.

Fight or flight. It’s our survival mechanism. When you are triggered by something, your nervous system goes into overdrive. The stress hormones (cortisol, adrenaline, epinephrine, and norepinephrine) are all activated to help your body power through stressful situations. But if you are on all the time, trapped in a constant state of heightened awareness and stress, you can physically suffer. It can be a lonely and exhausting experience.

What happens to your body in this state? You might perspire and even feel nauseous. Stress headaches are common, as are stomachaches because your digestion can also be affected. But hold on. Breathe and chill for a few…. You don’t have to fight anyone or go anywhere.

To understand your body barometers, learn what your body does under distress and why it does it. Your physical response is not a bad thing. It’s your body’s awesome and amazing way of protecting you by alerting you that something is wrong.

As women, we own our bodies. No one else is entitled to control your body—only you, because it’s yours. Respect… Your body doesn’t lie, even when your mind may overthink the situation. In fact, your mind can talk you out of what your body already experiences and intuitively knows. Your body knows that, for whatever reason, you are not where you are supposed to be, you are not doing what you are supposed to be doing.

Your body can also let you know when things are great. It can tell you when you are with wonderful company and experiencing bliss. Vibrating with excitement or trembling in fear are ways your body speaks to you. Are you paying attention?

Affirmation

I am aware of what I am feeling in my body and how it responds to what is going on around me.

Holistic Prescription

Call to Action

Take notes and notice how your body speaks to you when you are stressed.

Mother Nature

Use these herbs: allspice for self-awareness, emotional healing, and luck; lemon balm for physical restoration; and bay leaves for spiritual enhancement and protection.

Gemstones

Activate these gemstones: bloodstone for physical strength; amethyst for fortification and spiritual awareness; and hematite for physical healing.

Feng Shui

For optimal feng shui balance and harmony: Clear all clutter; add wood elements like plants and flowers, plus earth colors yellow and orange for self-care, inspiration, and vitality; add white, pink, and red candles of the fire element for awareness, self-love, and energy.

2

LISTEN TO YOUR PHYSICAL SELF

Your body speaks to you all the time. You might often ignore it. But it is critical that you listen to what it is telling you.

Respectful communication begins within yourself, along with careful attention to what your body is telling you. When your physical self starts to talk, try not to mind-talk your way out of feeling what you feel. If your body senses danger, listen and believe it!

Identity paralysis occurs when your mind, body, and spirit get stuck in an endless loop of resistance and confusion about change, which is stressful. Are you also stuck in a reactive cycle of lather, rinse, and repeat when it comes to disease? That is a situation that medical professionals call chronic.

Being in a constant state of fight or flight can cause real harm to your body. Some examples are stomach pain and digestive issues, headaches including migraines, and heart palpitations with high blood pressure, in addition to self-destructive behaviors in an attempt to soothe yourself, like irresponsible shopping, drinking, smoking, eating, sexing, and drugging.

Yes, stress throws everything off-balance. Change can create this stress, but so can unresolved trauma, emotional conflicts, and anger. These can fester and create physical symptoms too.

When we are in tune with our bodies, we can sense that something is wrong well ahead of a medical diagnosis, medication, or surgery, even before we experience a physical illness. It is the best way to check for and stay in balance.

Affirmation

I love my body and appreciate everything it does for me.

Holistic Prescription

Call to Action

Unplug and, in silence, feel what your body is telling you.

Mother Nature

Use these herbs and flowers: lavender for peaceful relaxation and restorative rest; rosemary for purified physical healing love; and gardenia for expansive healing and peaceful self-love.

Gemstones

Activate these gemstones: smoky quartz for grounding and balance; turquoise for health and inner calm; and garnet for chi stimulation and to remove emotional blockages in the body.

Feng Shui

For optimal feng shui balance and harmony: Clear clutter from your environment to also clear your mind and body; use earth elements such as the colors yellow and brown, plus natural fabrics and textures for health, self-care, and stability; use wood elements such as plants to purify the air, flowers to bring in more yin, and the color green for vitality and healing.

3

REDUCE BODY DISTRESS

Most of us are judged by the way we look—especially women. It’s so unfair! Your appearance is not who you are. It seems obvious that you are not what your physical self looks like, yet so many stereotypes, labels, and assumptions are related to our bodies. Of course, there is so much more to who and what we are. When we reclaim our bodies, we reclaim our identities. We reclaim ourselves.

Self-acceptance is the key to self-love and self-esteem. I love my body, and I hope that you do too. Let’s go even deeper. Caring for ourselves by reducing body distress is an act of self-love.

When it comes to health, it is not the appearance of our bodies that matters most, but the condition of our bodies. Sometimes this truth can be seen and felt physically, but most times it cannot. When you reclaim your body, you may be tempted to ask, How does my body look? Instead, I encourage you to ask yourself, How does my body feel? Many of us may be shocked to realize that our bodies are actually in distress.

If you knew how simple it was to reduce distress in your body, I bet you would do it all the time. I hope you will. What do you need to do? You need to relax. You are learning how to do it right now.

As women, we are often expected to be caretakers of the world. Three words: quality of life! Relaxation allows us to process life and derive benefit from it. This is the best way to live. By doing so, we create a new paradigm for what is acceptable, what is preferred, and what is normal.

We can create a new reality that includes and even prioritizes our emotional well-being as critical to our physical health. Because it is. Our bodies need it so badly! We can do this individually and collectively by maximizing the potential of relaxation.

Let go. Let your body be what it is. The key to relaxation and letting go is knowing that you can. Do it anytime. Any place. This is your moment to…relax. Let it go.

Affirmation

I release all worries, distress, and frustrations, watching them drift up and away, out of my body, into droplets that disperse and disappear into the Universe.

Holistic Prescription

Call to Action

Increase self-awareness by doing a daily body check-in to see how you feel.

Mother Nature

Use these herbs: green tea for physical body regulation; sage for spiritual purification and new positive beginnings; and juniper berries for releasing negativity.

Gemstones

Activate these gemstones: bloodstone for strengthening the body; selenite for dispelling negative energy; and jade for wisdom, peace, heart energy, and harmony.

Feng Shui

For optimal feng shui balance and harmony: Use earth colors yellow, orange, and tan to ground yourself; add more earth elements like potted plants for self-care and boundaries.

4

RELAX TO HEAL

Many of us are taking care of other people. So much so that we get used to putting them first. Who is taking care of you? You are important too! It’s time to take care of yourself.

I know it probably feels different when you make yourself a priority. Maybe you don’t quite understand that this is exactly what healthy people do. Healthy people know when and how to take care of themselves. Healthy people rest and relax on a regular basis.

Healing is possible when you dare to explore the lengths and depths of relaxation. If you look deep into your heart, it is there, waiting for you to acknowledge this need and say, Yes, I will.

For most people, their healing journey includes meditation, yoga, and deep breathing, all things that help their minds, bodies, and spirits to settle down. When we perform these activities consistently on a daily basis, they are helpful. For you, relaxation may look a little different, and that’s okay too.

Sometimes, relaxing to heal doesn’t look like anything at all. Other times, it’s a painful process with difficult lessons and challenging people: Crying, struggling, and working through it the best way we know how.

Relaxation is how we heal. If we don’t relax, we don’t heal.

We all need to relax and let go because change is a constant. With change, our balance is disrupted and peace is upended. Use relaxation and letting go to resettle into a fresh, updated, peaceful equilibrium, back into your natural state of harmonious being.

Yes, you can relax. Yes, you can heal. Yes, you can reconnect to your inner being of balance, calmness, clarity, and peace. And for you, maybe this means revisiting the past to release old ideas and notions to make space for new beliefs and a new vision of how life can be. Maybe it means conquering your fear of what may or may not be real or easy.

Relax you will. And heal you shall.

Your relaxation healing journey starts with a simple realization, then a single step, and another, and another. I know you see it. Now, it’s time to live it. Let’s