I’m Joking: 500+ Original Jokes for Kids

By Tom E. Moffatt and Paul Beavis

Looking for freshly-squeezed jokes?

Replenish your joke repertoire and change that broken record with 500+ jokes you haven’t heard before. I’m Joking is packed with hilarious illustrations and compiled into fun categories, such as Barking Mad Mischief, Nutty Giggles and Stinky Poo Gags. This squeaky-clean family fun makes the perfect gift for jokesters aged 7 to 107.

What did the spine say as it left the room?

I’ll be straight back

 

When should you run away from a goldfish?

When it’s in a tank

 

Which keys do dogs need?

Walkies

 

Why did the employee put a clock under her chair?

She was working overtime

 

What did the cat say when it hurt itself?

Me ow!

 

Click BUY NOW for hundreds more funny jokes for children aged 8-12 and beyond…

• Language: English
• Publisher: Write Laugh
• Release date: Feb 4, 2020
• ISBN: 9780995121034

Book preview

I’m Beginning

Jokes are funny things.

The same joke can be told over and over, and as long as it continues to find fresh ears, there’s no limit to the number of laughs it can conjure. You can travel thousands of miles and several decades, only to hear children tell the same jokes you heard at their age. Jokes that are told with such enjoyment and enthusiasm, it’s as though they were created just for that one moment.

A joke only begins to lose its power when it has been heard before. And with the same jokes doing the circuit year after year, this does tend to happen. I like to think that the jokes you will find in this book are all fresh entries into the joke arena. Every one of them was carefully crafted by me, Tom E. Moffatt. While there is always the chance that a similar – or even identical – joke was made up by someone else at some other time, this is not a book of collated jokes that you will have heard before. They are as original as I was able to make them.

At first I tried my best to include only Good Jokes in my collections. However, when I tested them out on unsuspecting passers-by, some laughed their socks off, while others rolled their eyes. So, in the name of science, I decided to test some of my Bad Jokes on the same crowd. Amazingly, the eye-rollers started laughing and the laughers started eye-rolling. And I learnt an important lesson about joke writing: You can’t please everyone with every joke!

I therefore decided to include a wider variety of jokes in this book… some good, some bad and some very ugly. It’s up to you to decide which is which. But with more than five hundred attempts, I hope to get at least one laugh out of every reader.

I also hope that one day, in distant lands and years, I’ll hear one of my own jokes out there in the world. Perhaps told to me by some enthusiastic young joke teller, laughing as they say it, as though that joke was being shared for the very first time.

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Ancient Egyptian Humour

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When I write jokes, I think of a topic, such as animal sounds, body parts or fish. I then brainstorm as many related puns and funny ideas as I can. It’s hard to say why I choose each joke topic, though. Some of them are obvious sources of humour. Others start with a single joke and grow from there. While I was writing fish jokes, I accidentally came up with my first Ancient Egyptian joke. That got me wondering about other Egyptian jokes, so I started bouncing ideas around, until the second joke came to me. Those two were enough to convince me to keep going. And just in case you were wondering… Howard Carter is the archaeologist who discovered the intact tomb of the young Pharaoh Tutankhamun.

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Why did Ancient Egyptian fish love the desert?

They were in d’Nile

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What did Howard Carter say to his driver?

Toot-and-come-in

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What did the pharaoh say after his tomb was ransacked?

I want my mummy!

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Why don’t people use