Viz Comic, P.O. Box 841 Whitley Bay, NE26 9EQ letters@viz.co.uk
⁕ PAGE 3 girl Samantha Fox’s song Touch Me (I Want Your Body) is nonsense. “Touch me, touch me. I wanna feel your body” she sings. Well, if she wants to feel a body, she should be the toucher, not the touchee. “Touch me, touch me. I wanna feel your finger,” would more accurately describe her desires in these circumstances. I would respectfully suggest that Ms. Fox doesn’t give up the day job of exposing her funbags at cameras.
Greg Giani, Shrewsbury
⁕ WHY ARE small things measured by comparison to a human hair? – this wire is the thickness of a human hair, or that spider’s silk is one tenth the thickness of a human hair. Surely there are better things to use than human hair, and it’s not fair on men who are bald.
Jeremy Balding, Spalding.
⁕ IF HATCHET-FACED former MP Ann Widdecombe ever decides to get married, I think she could do a lot worse than marry the similarly named diminutive comedian Josh Widdicombe. That way, she wouldn’t have to change her name with the banks and what have you. Well, not much anyway.
Iain Devenney, Abingdon
⁕ GOOD THINGS come to those who wait, they say. Well I waited 45 minutes for the number 87 bus yesterday, only to sit next to an old man who talked about his haemorrhoids and farted all the way into town. I wonder if the socalled experts can explain that one.
Horatio Flunge, Sheffield
⁕ THE PREVIOUS letter from Horatio Flunge makes a fair point, but I think the adage still stands. I waited 25 minutes for the number 17 bus today and when I went onto the top deck there were 4 Swedish porn stars making a film and we bonked all the way into town.
Maurice Jismanly, Cumheavily
* No, I’m afraid we simply don’t believe that happened, Mr Jismanly. You have clearly been reading too many Spawny Get cartoons, like the one on page 47.
⁕ vaccine is a fantastic thing but, shortly after being given one, you require a booster.
