◻ HOW COME you don’t see Bruce Forsyth on telly much any more? He used to be all over the place on primetime BBC, but since his death he’s only been in a few repeats on digital. Come on Brucie, pull your finger out.
Ben, Whitstable
◻ I WAS in Sainsbury’s buying some food last week when a woman told another she was talking to that she had “had it up to here.” Instinctively, I glanced to see exactly where she had had it up to. I caught the eye of another shopper who was also looking to see where she had had it up to. But in the end she didn’t indicate. She just added “I really have.”
T Waterman, Brighton
◻ I’VE JUST recently noticed that they’ve stopped advertising fags on TV. What’s that all about then?
Anton Deck, Chipperfield
◻ WHY IS it all buskers are warbling those dreary, mournful ballads that seem to be all over the radio these days. They’re utterly depressing. Why can’t buskers be more like Chas and Dave, banging out some cheerful singalong tune about rabbits?
Felton Bellhew, Worksop
◻ IF I was the headmaster of Eton College, I would hope that every time Boris Johnson mentioned that he attended my school, people would think it was just another one of his fucking lies.
Bob Diode, Cromer
◻ A FRIEND of mine’s cock and balls are so big that he is unable to fit them into one of those dimpled pint glasses. Does anyone know if there is another series of Britain’s Got Talent planned?
