IN THE interests of road safety, I think it would be a good idea for the government to introduce a law that requires all drivers to have their hazard lights on at all times. Except when there are no immediate hazards.
Jack Spratt, Stourbridge
RADIO 4 has gone mad about Shakespeare recently, with loads of posh folk saying how shit-hot he was and how brilliant his stories are. But I’ve seen a couple of Shakespeare plays and I hadn’t got a clue what was going on. I can only assume that the people who think he’s good haven’t seen Breaking Bad, which is much better telly.
Stuie, Bunny
THIS NEW king of ours really needs to up his game. It’s taken him 73 years to become the monarch whereas his mother did it in just 25. Come on, Charlie. Pull your ermine socks up.
Jerome Fandor’s Mate, Evesham
WHY DOES cheese only come in cuboids, cylinders or spheres? I’d love a nice pyramid of sharp Cheddar. Or, if any Viz readers are an executive at the massive company that owns Pringles, can they send one of their production people over to a cheese factory to develop a saddle-shaped cheese?
Calvin Graham, Philadelphia
WHY DO gameshow hosts always act like they want the contestants to win? I’m good friends with Ben Shephard, and he says that he couldn’t give a flying fuck whether the contestants win or lose on Tipping Point. Come on, TV gameshow presenters. Stop blowing smoke up your contestants’ arses.
Barry Bigface, Winchestershire
DOES ANYONE know what breed of horse The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse ride? If it’s the same as my ex’s pony that panicked and bolted because it saw a rabbit, I think it’s going to undermine their credibility when trying to herald catastrophes that bring about the End of Days.
Rigsby, London
IF CURRENT scientific thinking is correct, then the known universe is about 5.5 x 1023 miles in diameter. But surely this would mean that, with a mere 400 miles separating their respective home grounds, any football match between Sunderland and Plymouth Argyle would count as a ‘local derby’. Honestly, I don’t know what we pay these astronomers for.
Ben Nunn, Caterham
last issue, Mr Kevin Caswell-Jones postulated that were he the Invisible Man, he would have no greater pleasure than to produce a number two in a crowded place just to
