Your Correspondence to VIZ Editor Hampton Doubleday
ST✰R LETTER
□ I KNOW our noble NHS is stretched to breaking point at the minute, but the treatment I received recently was nothing short of shocking. If ‘ring sting’ and ‘night farts’ isn’t a legitimate reason to turn up at A&E, then I don’t know what is. And don’t get me started on the abuse I got from the Air Ambulance people.
Les Lloyd, email
□ I REMEMBER as a boy scout singing some song about a ‘Hayler Shaler’ and a ‘Shalley Walley’ or something. We sung that bit twice and it ended up with ‘Umpah,’ again, twice if I remember correctly. Then the Ging Gang Goolie bit. To be honest, I’ve been to the pub with the lads, it got a bit messy, and we didn’t get it written down quite right.
Dicky Dicky Butler, email
□ A FEW days ago after my wife had gone to bed, I decided to have a cheeky wank and so locked myself in the downstairs toilet. Upon reaching the inevitable point of no return, I saw to my dismay that the regular toilet roll had run out, and the only thing to hand was a novelty Boris Johnson toilet roll which was given to me as a joke a couple of Christmases ago, and which had sat on display in the downstairs toilet ever since. The guilt and shame one gets from an act of self pollution is bad enough, but having to shoot one’s load over Boris’s ugly mug, frankly, takes it to another level.
Anonymous, email
□ like to apologise to all my former classmates at Cardinal Griffin Comprehensive in Staffordshire for loudly breaking wind during a GCSE English mock exam in early 1988. I know I and my mates giggled about it at
