THEY say that an infinite number of monkeys with typewriters would write the complete works of Shakespeare. I’m more than a little disappointed that – with all of that manpower – they would resort to plagiarism instead of coming up with something original. Perhaps Attenborough and his ilk might like to think again about how supposedly ‘intelligent’ our primate cousins are next time they’re putting a series together.
Gerald Preston, Weston-super-Mare
THE PROBLEM with stepping in dogshit is that it gets all gummed up in your shoe’s tread. If soles were made completely smooth and thickly coated in a greasy, non-stick substance, your shoes would remain completely free of barker’s eggs no matter how many you trod in. Come on, shoe manufacturers. Think outside the box.
Prince Asbo, Folkestone
IF YOU listen to Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon album, and watch The Wizard of Oz at the same time, you can’t really concentrate on either of them, so I wouldn’t recommend doing that.
Joe Williams, Leeds
CONGRATULATIONS to Mrs B on her lottery BOON! Let’s hope her newfound wealth doesn’t stop her endorsing products in your magazine.
Joe Rowe, Stevenage
E-MAIL inboxes quickly become cluttered with unnecessary files, so in an effort to tidy things up I think it should be possible to combine the ‘spam’ and ‘junk’ folders. I should probably have a name for this folder when I pitch the idea to the major tech companies, and a hybrid or portmanteau word that contains letters from each word seems a good idea to me. So far, I’ve come up with the name “Jam folder”. Do any of your readers have alternative suggestions before I contact Bill Gates?
Rev. Cornelius Nutall Finchpalm, Cornertitty
listening to the other week, and I had a right chuckle to myself at the thought of there being a guest on the show called “Mike Asterway.” That would mean Lauren Laverne would have to introduce them by saying “My castaway this week is Mike Asterway.” Honestly,
