Jokes Fun at Midnight

By Ayir Ahsi

A good laugh has great long-term effects. When you start to laugh, it doesn't just lighten your load mentally; it induces physical changes in your body. Laughter can stimulate many organs. Laughter enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs, and muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain. Laughter can also stimulate circulation and aid muscle relaxation, both of which help reduce some of the physical symptoms of stress.
Laughter may ease pain by causing the body to produce its natural painkillers. Laughter may also break the pain-spasm cycle common to some muscle disorders and increase personal satisfaction. Laughter can also make it easier to cope with difficult situations. It also helps you connect with other people. Many people experience depression, sometimes due to chronic illnesses. Laughter can help lessen your depression and anxiety and make you feel happier. This ‘Jokes E-book’ of ours is an effort to dissolve your tensions in a solution of smiles, chuckles, and laughter.

• Language: English
• Publisher: mds
• Release date: Sep 12, 2022
• ISBN: 9791221398717

Book preview

About the Book

A good laugh has great long-term effects. When you start to laugh, it doesn't just lighten your load mentally; it induces physical changes in your body. Laughter can stimulate many organs. Laughter enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs, and muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain. Laughter can also stimulate circulation and aid muscle relaxation, both of which help reduce some of the physical symptoms of stress.

Laughter may ease pain by causing the body to produce its natural painkillers. Laughter may also break the pain-spasm cycle common to some muscle disorders and increase personal satisfaction. Laughter can also make it easier to cope with difficult situations. It also helps you connect with other people. Many people experience depression, sometimes due to chronic illnesses. Laughter can help lessen your depression and anxiety and make you feel happier. This ‘Jokes E-book’ of ours is an effort to dissolve your tensions in a solution of smiles, chuckles, and laughter.

—Author

Contents

About the Book

Chapter—One

Chapter—Two

Chapter—Three

Chapter—Four

Chapter—Five

Chapter—Six

Chapter—Seven

Chapter—Eight

Chapter—Nine

Chapter—Ten

Chapter—Eleven

Chapter—One

In the pale moonlight,

She said: I’m not the sort to let a fellow make love to me the first time we meet.

He: Err... let me think... We’ve met before somewhere, haven't we?

************

Johnny gazed at his one-day-old brother, who was yelling at the top of his voice.Did he come from Heaven? Johnny asked his mother.

Yes, dear, she replied.

Well, Johnny mused, I can see why they put him out.

****************

I baked a sponge cake for you, Arc, said the bride, but it didn’t turn out right. I think the grocer gave me the wrong kind of sponge.

****************

Manager: Do you realize how much you cost the office when you are late?

And do you realize, Sir, how much you cost the office when you arrive on time? A sergeant in charge of the recruits ordered: Men when I blow the whistle, I want you to shoot at will.

At that moment, one very frightened young man ran across the grounds, out of sight.

Who was that? Where's he going? bellowed the sergeant.

That was a will, replied one of the recruits.

****************

Jerry Lewis was coming out of the Opera House Theatre when a lady suddenly appeared and thrust a little contribution box under his nose.

Give till it hurts, she advised.

Madam, said the actor, the very idea of giving hurts me.

****************

A practical nurse is one who ultimately marries a rich patient.

****************

Sexologist: Does your wife ever smoke while you’re having sexual intercourse?

Subject: No, she just sweats a lot.

****************

Kept Woman: A woman who wears milk by day and fox by night. Kept Woman: A woman who wears milk by day and fox by night.

I’m a poor man. Would you help me, madam?

Of course! Just tell me whether you want to be shot or hit with an axe.

****************

Employer: Can you write shorthand?

Applicant: Yes, but it simply takes me much longer.

****************

The theatre manager said, The orchestra seats are three dollars, the balcony seats are two dollars, and the stalls are fifty cents.

Customer: And any tickets for sitting on the floor?

****************

A place to put last year’s fun till it grows up.

****************

The young man who insisted that he can drive a car safely while he is kissing a girl is not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

************

Backyard conversation: My husband would never chase another woman. He’s too fine, too decent—and too old!

A guy anxious for a pick-up went into a tavern and saw a pretty girl sitting at the bar.

You want a drink, honey? he asked.

She said she didn’t drink.

Then maybe you’d like to screw? he suggested.

She didn’t do that either.

Exasperated, he said, Then how about a bale of hay?

I don’t eat hay, she replied indignantly.

Just as I thought, said the guy.

You’re not fit company for man or beast.

********************

A Chicago doctor was surprised one day by a note left on his desk by his secretary. It read:

Mrs…telephoned to say she would be unable to keep her appointment because she is unwell. She will make a new appointment as soon as she feels better.

****************

The woman in the bathrobe told the door-to-door salesman, The man of the house was in until you began leaning on the bell!

No, little Jimmy, women don’t have hair on their chests, because how could grass grow on a playing ground?

****************

The main disadvantage of dreaming about sex is that you have to get up in the middle of the night and change the bed sheets.

****************

Patient: Doctor, will I be able to read after I get my glasses?

Doctor: Indeed, you will.

Patient: Well, that’ll be great. I've never been able to read before.

****************

Customer: Why does a poor man give larger tips than a rich man?

Waiter: It’s simple, simple, sir! The poor man doesn’t want people to know that he is poor, and the rich man doesn’t want anybody to know that he is rich.

****************

And this girl boldly told her escort: You can’t just throw yourself at me like that! There’s a long queue.Queue."

A woman says to her neighbor: I have the most marvelous recipe for meatloaf—all I have to do is mention it to my husband and he says, Let’s eat out.

****************

A girl came into the office one morning with a sour expression on her face, and a friend asked, What happened on your date last night?

Don't ask.

The