Summary of Patricia Love's The Emotional Incest Syndrome

By IRB Media

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book. Book Preview:

#1 When interviewing a client, I look for signs of emotional incest. When children are overly attached to a parent, they spend little time with peers.

#2 The author spoke with Gwen, who explained that her father wanted to fill the void in his life caused by his divorce with his daughter. He tried to fill it with Gwen, but she felt guilty for leaving home. She was better with a pencil than she was with words, so the author helped her draw pictures to explain her feelings.

#3 The term emotional incest is used to describe the relationship between a parent and their child. When a parent takes advantage of the power they have over their child and turns to them for need fulfillment, there is a violation of the intimacy taboo between parent and child.

#4 Emotional incest can take many forms, from a parent turning to a child of the opposite sex for the intimacy and companionship one would expect in a love relationship, to a parent using a child to satisfy needs that should be satisfied by other adults.

• Language: English
• Publisher: IRB Media
• Release date: Apr 27, 2022
• ISBN: 9781669395010

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Insights on Patricia Love's The Emotional Incest Syndrome

Contents

Insights from Chapter 1

Insights from Chapter 2

Insights from Chapter 1

#1

When interviewing a client, I look for signs of emotional incest. When children are overly attached to a parent, they spend little time with peers.

#2

The author spoke with Gwen, who explained that her father wanted to fill the void in his life caused by his divorce with his daughter. He tried to fill it with Gwen, but she felt guilty for leaving home. She was better with a pencil than she was with words, so the author helped her draw pictures to explain her feelings.

#3

The term emotional incest is used to describe the relationship between a parent and their child. When a parent takes advantage of the power they have over their child and turns to them for need fulfillment, there is a violation of the intimacy taboo between parent and child.

#4

Emotional incest can take many forms, from a parent turning to a child of the opposite sex for the intimacy and companionship one would expect in a love relationship, to a parent using a child to satisfy needs that should be satisfied by other adults.

#5

The first trait of a Chosen Child is a parent with unmet emotional needs. If your parent was single or unhappily married, and did not compensate for this lack of support by developing a network of friends, some degree of enmeshment occurred.

#6

As you take part in the recovery process, you may begin to see your family history in a new light. You may need to alter your view of a parent who seemed to be normal parenting, but in fact was a disguised form of abuse.

#7

I was a parentified child who took on many of the responsibilities of an adult. I was the one who decided what to eat and wear, when and if I should do my homework, and whether I should visit the man down the street who offered me candy to sit on his lap.

#8

I had been the victim of emotional incest, as my mother had been the surrogate spouse for my father. I had been the faithful, loving, and supportive partner she never had.

#9

The only relationship that can satisfy an adult is a loving, intimate relationship with another adult. A child lacks the wisdom, experience, and skills to be an adequate partner. And it goes without saying that a child should never be a parent’s sexual partner.

#10

Enmeshed families often have one parent who is more strict than the other. One parent is the disciplinarian, and the other is more permissive. But in many cases, the polarization is extreme, and the permissive parent becomes abusive.

#11

When David graduated from high school, he tried to escape from the web of enmeshment